Re:pray
by DarkSummerBrightWinter92
Summary: Kaneki and Touka both shared a passionate love. But ever since the Anteiku Raid took place, Touka thinks Kaneki is dead and is left heartbroken-and pregnant. Four years later, Touka and her daughter are living peacefully at their home, and she is able to be at peace. But what happens when she meets Haise Sasaki? TouKen Fanfic. Spoilers for anime, manga and Tokyo Ghoul:re
1. Prologue: Blur

_Prologue: Blur..._

* * *

" _Spin me around again_

 _And rub my eyes_

 _This can't be happening"_

 _-"Hide and Seek" by Imogene Heap_

* * *

It was obvious that Kaneki and Touka had feelings for each other around when they first met. The only ones who didn't know about it were just those two.

Throughout the times they spent together for the first few days, they were barely getting to know each other as friends. From what a person could see, it was hard to believe that the two teenagers both had feelings for each other. Confusing: that's what people would describe their relationship. Others couldn't tell if they were serious about what actions they displayed, whether it was Touka punching Kaneki in the face or when they tell jokes to each other. It was a bipolar problem. It was meaningless, yet at the same time it created tension-the most it could ever bring-into the two lives.

When Kaneki first saw Touka, he thought she was cute. Nevertheless, when he first officially met her face to face and got closer to her, he thought of her as a scary person. He had thought that envy and hate were the only emotions that she had underneath her content façade. He thought of her as the type of person that didn't have that many friends, got into trouble daily and easily, and had no intention of moving on or agreeing to go on with the life they're both living in. Of course, that last comment is natural for it to appear on how to describe any kind of person living in a world full of ghouls.

For Touka, she didn't even know what to think of him when she first met him. She only saw him for a brief moment when he told his friend, Hide, to knock it off when he tried hitting on her. When she first officially met him, she thought of him as stubborn and weak. It was sad for even her to admitt this. The man had been turned into a half-ghoul so it was only natural for her to feel pity. Still, she didn't like his attitude and personality. She didn't know how he worked or what kind of emotions he could manifest underneath his innocent face. It surprised her when she found new feelings buried beneath him. Anger, envy, determination: they were all so surreal and so odd to find underneath his skin. The emotions she never thought he had were starting to show.

However, as time went by for the half-ghoul and she-ghoul, they didn't even realize that they also had another feeling tucked underneath their identities as ghouls: love.

Kaneki always thought he would know Touka as a very angry she-ghoul, but he was quickly tossed to the side to see her true feelings. To see her actually being strong after all that she had been through and caring for those she wished that wouldn't get hurt through the wrath of the doves in Tokyo. He always respected that strength. That respect was too strong for it to always freeze into that position.

Back when she first met him, Touka had no problem judging what kind of person he was at a glance. Weak, unconfident, easy to scare shitless: she read him like the books he would always read. She felt sorry that his life had sucked, especially for being a one-eyed ghoul. She knew that if she left him alone, then he wouldn't survive in the place that they lived in called their world: it was horrible yet bearable. So she decided to train him. To help him protect himself when he knew that his life was in danger. He grew stronger every day and that strength impressed her.

That was the feeling that helped them realize their feeling for each other. It was the genesis of their love: strength.

It didn't take long for them to realize their feelings, but they had trouble trying to act natural like they always used to. Whenever they saw each other, they either walked away or talked to each other with their backs to each other. They had the typical actions of a regular human when in love.

They were so strong that they didn't have the courage to confess.

Neither of them had the strength to do so for the first two weeks since they both found out they loved each other. They kept doubting themselves through those two weeks.

For Kaneki, he always thought that love was just a pass-time and he stopped believing in it, mostly because of what happened between him and Rize. He didn't really find it necessary for him to try again when something equally as bad as what happened that day might happen again to him. However, when he met Touka and began to know her better, he felt his feelings rise. The way she was so independent and wanted to be strong enough so that she could protect everybody around her impressed him and made him a bit envious. Nevertheless, that strength made him see a different side of her that he longed to see.

For Touka, she never wanted to rely on anybody. She lost three people she loved most in the world: her mother, her father, and her brother, Ayato. Her parents are dead and her brother decided to stab her in the back by joining Aogiri and leaving her behind. She had no other reason to fall in love again. Then again, she never had any confidence that she would find somebody that would impress her or would want her. She never figured that the man that she wanted would be Kaneki. But then again, she fell in love with him the same way he did with her: all thanks to each other's strength.

Finally, after discovering the truth, after two weeks of doubt and thinking, Kaneki was the first one that confessed. He didn't realize what he was feeling that day when he told Touka that he loved her. Same with Touka. She felt frozen and she couldn't move anything in her body. She kept telling herself that it could be all in her head; that it was all a misunderstanding. It was funny: she was the most strongest person he knew, and yet he was the strongest person at that moment. Before Touka could say anything, probably trying to defend his emotions and help him realize what he just said, Kaneki knew that a confession wasn't going to mean anything.

So he grabbed hold of Touka and kissed her.

As they kissed, Touka had no actions. She wasn't thinking. The only thing she felt was fear. She was afraid that that moment could have been a dream. She thought that that moment couldn't have happened since she thought that her closest friend would be afraid to love her. That's what she thought when he kissed her. She knew she didn't have to wonder that to herself since she already knew that that was real. As she let that truth sink in, she felt so happy. She finally had someone that she loved besides her parents and brother. And so she gave herself to him, as with Kaneki.

They both were shy when they became a couple at first. Everything they did that normal couples would naturally do would make them both blush with embarrassment. Even Yoriko thought it was adorable at how they blushed when they both exchanged hugs or kissed each other on the cheek. Touka wanted to tell her that she had the wrong idea as always, but it was hard getting used to the idea that she actually had a boyfriend. It really was hard. But after a while, they didn't have any problems. They were not scared to express themselves and their love to each other. It's strange how it worked, yet it's still beautiful as roses.

Sadly, no one ever knows why God would always destroy the moments that seemed that they would last forever.

When Kaneki was kidnapped by Aogiri, Touka was distraught. However, she didn't stop herself from being depressed. She promised herself that when she and the rest of the members of Anteiku would bring him back, she would always protect her lover even if he wouldn't. It was a promise that she wanted to start keeping even when she had not seen him yet again.

She was ready to find and rescue Kaneki, but she was the person being rescued by him instead. She was really happy seeing him alive and well, but he didn't have any of his sweet, old expressions he used to show whenever she saw him, whenever and wherever. The old Kaneki would've held her or kissed her until he didn't have the strength to do so anymore. She would've held onto him as he did, crying realizing that he was alright and safe in her arms. But the Kaneki she saw, the one with hair white as snow rather than his raven black hair, was motionless.

Touka didn't know what happened to him over at Aogiri, but he changed. She felt pathetic when she didn't say anything when he told her that he wasn't going back to Anteiku. She did nothing when he walked away from her, leaving her behind. When she tried to reach for him, she realized something. Kaneki was a weak person, and she thought that they would both become stronger when they were together. But that's not how it became for them. She didn't help him become strong; they both traded places. He took her strength and she took his weakness.

She was, at that moment, weak.

Since then, the two lovers haven't interacted or seen each other. Kaneki didn't try to go to Touka since he wanted to be alone and protect her along with the people at Anteiku. He would secretly observe Anteiku in the shadows to see how it was doing, but it wasn't the same.

Nevertheless, Touka was the one that made an effort to try and find him again. She spent long nights searching and waiting for him as many hours as she could, hoping that he would return and apologize to her for trying to abandon Anteiku. She would also stay outside of the shop, hoping that he would come back to the same cafe shop they both loved. She would stay up for as long as she could, right until she fell asleep.

Kaneki would usually see her like that when he came to visit Anteiku, so he would carry her back to her room without waking anybody up. Every time she woke up in her bed, she would always be confused. She still didn't know who kept putting her in her bed in the middle of the night. It didn't matter; with her being inept about who brought her to her bed, she thought that one of the employees at Anteiku brought her in. She would always be upset at everyone, wanting for one of them to confess who brought her in.

 _"What if Kaneki was going to come back here?!"_ She would tell them every morning. _"I want him to see me outside and let him be the first thing I see when I wake up!"_

They all didn't say anything, and they've always dealt with her screams in the mornings. She would've given up at one point, but she was always stubborn. And with that, she faced the same routine over and over again. She waited for Kaneki. He always came, but with no memory for Touka that he was ever there.

She used to think that he would never come back, knowing that it was months since the last time they had seen each other. She was ready to give up until he finally came back to Anteiku. She didn't know what she was doing when she heard the news, but she stopped her actions and ran until she came across him. When she met him at the bridge and when they finally looked at each other after so long, she felt so happy and she wanted to tell him how good it was seeing him again. How lonely it was without him at the cafe. To tell him how much she loved him again and again.

All those thoughts were all on her mind. But she said nothing. The actions she wished she had done were nothing but meaningless. The only thing she did was look at him with calm eyes and a solemn face.

Kaneki was the first to speak to her. He told her about how Yoshimura wanted him to come back to Anteiku, which made her a bit elated, yet she didn't show any expressions on her face. She wasn't even paying attention to him the rest of the time he spoke. She was thinking about what happened to him all that time he was gone. What happened to him when he made his group. What happened to him when he didn't invite her to join him.

What happened to him when he left her behind.

All the wondering why her lover left her had finally entered her body, and the personality of the person she once was came back to her. She was angry at him for not only leaving her, but for thinking that he is trying to save her and her friends when he was actually being selfish. She never asked for him to carry the burden that was never his. That was good enough to give her a reason what she was doing when she tried punching him. She wanted to snap him out of his pity party; to come back to reality and not feel sorry for himself when he knew that there were other people caring for him. However, during her fit of rage, she wasn't thinking when she shouted those echoing words…

" _Never come back to Anteiku!"_

Her blood grew cold as she said those words that ran with the wind. She felt them destroy herself, but she didn't hesitate or stop trying to hit Kaneki. But apparently, he did. He hesitated and stopped trying to block her attacks when he heard those words. Knowing him for so long, she knew that words like those killed him inside. That was what teared her apart: seeing her lover having a hurtful expression on his face. She wanted to stop when he hesitated, but her fist hit his face too quickly. She wanted to stop herself after that, but her adrenaline was still hot and she still went after him. She jumped onto him and she kept punching him with his defense held back, asking him the same question over and over again.

" _Why?!"_

 _"Why?!"_

 _"Why?!"_

 _"Why?!"_

 _"Why?"_

 _"Why?"_

 _"Why did you have to change?"_

After the fifth punch she had given him, she held herself back. She didn't know what she was doing anymore.

 _Why would I hurt the man I still love?_

She asked herself that question in her mind and of course, she had to come up with an answer for it. She had to know and hope why he had to put on a brave face when he knew that he couldn't even protect himself. That was all she could do. That, and cry. With her fists on his chests and her body on top of him, she cried until her tears fell onto his shirt. Kaneki didn't seem to care as her tears fell on his shirt, dampening them. But it didn't matter.

It's not like Touka would care if he cared. That's what she thought.

She still cried for him. Not just for him, but for his old self. She cried, because she knew that the Kaneki she knew, the one she fell in love with, was gone. The monster that was in his place was not him. And she didn't need a monster in her life when all she wanted was to escape the life of being called a monster.

When she decided to give up on him, Touka began to get up from his body which would have passed for the motionless person that he had become and turned away to start pacing away from him. She wanted him to let that moment be the last time he'll ever see her. She wanted him to feel her pain when he left Anteiku. She didn't even had any second thoughts. The monster that Kaneki became wouldn't care for her anyway. He already lost her, so what was the point of him going after her when it was obvious that the hope and worry he had was gone?

There was none.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

She felt a tug at her shirt.

She stopped in her tracks and turned her head to see Kaneki, up on his feet with his head bent forward to make it look like he was staring at the ground, who had grabbed onto her shirt like his life depended on it. She tried to resist, but he still latched onto it, the texture of her shirt starting to rip apart. After some time, she stopped struggling and looked at him.

He looked so peaceful yet so lonely as he was clinching to her like a lost child. When he finally knew that she had given up trying to escape his grasp, he looked up at her, his dark argent eyes sparkling from the tears that are beginning to form. He stared back into his lover's eyes, likewise filled with leftover tears that she had shed when she attacked him. Only those tears showed a different meaning and a different emotion rather than what she was originally feeling. Then when he knew that he had her attention, he said to her…

" _Just because I've changed doesn't mean that my feelings for you have. I still love you, Touka-chan."_

The weakness that Touka gained from Kaneki and the weakness another lovesick teenager had had begun to combine when he said that to her. That was not the first time he said that he loved her, as with her, but whatever was in his words had the power to make her want to fall into his arms with no intending of ever letting go. Whatever doubts about him she had in her mind vanished. Her love for him was clarity again. She had no boundaries pulling her back. She was so elated that she could laugh. She found her old Kaneki. The one that made her smile, laugh, care, love. The one that made her feel new feelings for the first time.

The one that made her happy she was alive.

Kaneki didn't know what to expect from Touka when he told her this. He expected her to be stubborn as she always was, but to be honest, for Touka, she didn't know what else to say to him. She was speechless. What would someone say to someone if this moment happened to them too?

.

.

.

.

.

.

Exactly.

She wasn't sure how to respond or what kind of response she could offer him, but she wanted to show him or at least assure him that she loved him too. She thought of many things in her head on what to do, and she was quick when she finally decided.

She kissed him.

Kaneki reacted the same way Touka did when he kissed her for the first time: surprised yet slowly succumbing to it. It was slow for a moment, but he acted fast when he had her lips against his. The way their lips parted both made them want to moan and ask each other for more. The way they both smelled—dust and vanilla from him, a weird scent to find him covered in, and cherry shampoo from her—flowed through each other and the way their lips felt against the same substance gave them a shiver in their bones.

Knowing that that was the only time for Kaneki to act like his old self, Touka knew that she needed to treasure it. That was when she had to go beyond her boundaries. The thought that she might not see him again for months made her actions and thoughts more frantic than before. She could tell that he was thinking the same, and they both finally made their decision.

Everything else that had happened afterwards was a secret.

It was _their_ secret.

* * *

A few weeks soon after, the Anteiku Raid took place.

The others obviously knew that Kaneki was going to help the people that stayed at Anteiku to fight with Yoshimura without any interference. It scared everyone: Hinami, Tsukiyama, Banjou, even Touka. The Raid was the most scariest thing that they could ever worry about. Their one friend that changed their lives was about to participate in the one battle that he didn't need to fight in. The burden that everyone knew he carried had become stronger and made him too selfless to worry about his own life. He told his group that he would come back, and they would return to Yoshimura as soon as he was done. He had their hopes up for nothing.

His head was too high up in the clouds to worry about his goal to return to his friends. He actually knew it was obvious that he wasn't going to come back. He just wanted to let his friends have a little bit of faith in him before he would disappear from their lives forever. His last promise was the last lie he ever told.

And the way he lied meant that he lied to Touka too.

When he said that he wanted to break the group and return to Anteiku, he was thinking of surprising Touka. He wanted to see her face as soon as she could see him return in their old coffee shop. She would be pissed at first, asking why he didn't return sooner, but she would've been so happy to see him. He didn't know if the sight of him would bring tears to her eyes, unless his love changed that possibility, but he knew that a smile from her was precious enough to know that she missed him.

It was sad for Kaneki to be alone to rot. What was even more sad for everyone else was that they had no idea what happened to him. His group stayed up all night, hoping to hear an update about him or at least see him to know that he survived. They worried until they did manage to receive news about him, but, sadly, it wasn't the news they were looking for. When they looked at the news on the TV in a random television store, they were shocked to see lots of ghouls dead on the snow-covered ground. Hinami didn't see anybody she knew, but there were so many bodies that she couldn't help but realize that it wasn't possible for there to be any ghoul survivors. But then the newscaster went down to the sewers and they showed a ghoul with his eyes black as coal with his body still as a stone.

Once everyone saw what happened on the news, they were all depressed. Banjou's worried and joyful expression was wiped off from his face and replaced with a solemn and quiet one. He didn't know what to feel about the man whom he promised to protect, as a repayment for him saving his life. He always thought that that would be his reason on why he continued to live, same with his followers. If he's sad, then they're sad.

Hinami was heartbroken when she saw her one brother dead. She had no other people left to call her family besides him and Touka. The people she lived with while she was a member of Kaneki's group were only her "colleagues", a word in which he taught her, and she never considered them close and felt very lonely around them. The worst part was that he had promised to come back to her and they would go back to Anteiku to the people that she considered as family. Her excitement had been drained out of her system.

With the sight of her brother being dead, it was not hard to believe that Yoshimura, Koma, and Irimi probably died in the Raid. She knew that Yomo and Touka were probably still alive, but she didn't want to go back to them. Apparently, whatever happened to her changed her personality. She wanted to protect her family when they're all she had left. She wanted to become stronger. That's why she abandoned her old group and joined Aogiri Tree.

Everyone was struck down like trees when they heard the news about the fallen in the Anteiku Raid. But the most heartbroken of them all was Touka. Before, during, and after.

Touka wanted to reach everyone at Anteiku, especially Kaneki, when she heard the news about the Raid but Yomo was able to reach her, refusing to let her go. She kept telling him that she wanted to be punished for her crimes, but Yomo still kept his cool and refused to let her out. She kept trying to run away from him, but he clutched onto her. Yomo would've let her go, but she was acting different rather than her normal self. He had to know what was up with her. As he clutched onto her arm and as she tried to escape from his grasp, he kept asking her why does she have to go. She said nothing, so he kept asking the question until he was able to have an explanation. Finally, she replied…

 _"I have to tell him!"_

She broke down into tears and collapsed to the ground with Yomo quick enough to catch her. He gently let himself and Touka fall to the ground as she cried into his arms with her fists tightened and against his chest. She kept yelling her reply to Yomo over and over like a robot, and Yomo was there to hold her. He had no expression, yet he had the confusion another ghoul and human being would feel towards a moment like that. Suddenly, he looked at her clenched fists and he let out a small gasp.

In the middle of her right fist, looking as if she was holding onto it for her life, was a positive pregnancy test.

It didn't take long for Yomo to figure out who the father was. He understood the situation and emotions that Touka was feeling. Nevertheless, all he cared about was her safety. He promised Yoshimura that he would protect everyone at Anteiku and he intended to keep it. He couldn't find Hinami, so Touka was all he had left. He had to protect her. So, with enough persuasion, he managed to let Touka go back into her senses and they escaped. He didn't talk about the baby and how they were going to take care of it. They just walked away from their old homes and said absolutely nothing.

By the time they left everything behind, they were already at Kaito's house. He was an old friend of Yomo's; or in other words, partner in crime. They knew each other around the time they both knew Uta, and they've been good friends since, so it was no problem for him to let them in. Touka didn't mind or say anything when they arrived. All she did while over there was just lay around the house hugging her stomach, wondering if she could comfort her baby that way. She was also probably waiting for Kaneki to somehow find her and Yomo. It didn't matter anyway.

On the day Touka found out the truth, she was channel surfing in the den of the apartment when she suddenly came across news about the Anteiku Raid. The way she paid attention to the screen was like a lioness watching her cubs, and they both didn't want to be interrupted. She couldn't tear herself away as she saw the numerous bodies that laid on the ground and she was scared to wonder if Yoshimura and the others made it out of the bloodbath. The ghouls wore the same outfits as Koma and Irimi, so it was hard to find their bodies. The lady in the television yet said that they managed to take out the Owl, so she knew Yoshimura was dead.

But as soon as the cameras went straight to the sewers, she panicked as soon as she saw the first thing that came up. She saw a specific body dressed in black with blood covered everywhere around itself.

 _Three_

.

 _Two_

 _._

 _One_

 _._

It was obvious that the body was her now deceased lover.

The way she saw the body on the floor made her scream. Yomo and Kaito weren't home at the time when she did, but she didn't care. She didn't want them to see her as she saw the horrible sight on the television screen. The blood around the body was still fresh, his eyes were hollow in the same color, and some of the blood managed to smear onto his snow white hair. The way the colors mixed would remind one of the color of roses in a bush: really, really dark roses with white roses pure as light. The colors are beautiful on roses, but to see them on the one person she relied on and loved was heartbreaking.

The camera then changed from the view and went back to the reporter, but she still had tears that she wanted to shed and she gave out a yell. It was a soft yell, yet it had a bitter sound. Her mouth was still wide open when she didn't have to yell no more. She only sobbed so that the noises would escape from her. While she sobbed, she clutched her belly with both weakness and strength. It was so hard to realize the truth and the things that it had to leave behind. Kaneki is dead and all Touka had left of him is their child.

She looked down at her stomach, her eyes still fresh with tears. _2._ She's starting to see it become bigger, probably due to the fast pace of a ghoul pregnancy even though she conceived it weeks ago. The sight of her growing stomach started to make her have more tears race down her face. The sight of her baby growing inside her gave her another horrible truth. The baby will never see his or her father. It will have his or her mother to care for him, but the baby is now titled as "fatherless." Not only was it a nightmare that she couldn't see her lover again, but a nightmare for the child now that he or she won't ever see it's father.

As of that night, in that small apartment, the two were on their own.

* * *

 _ **1\. This song is the first spark for this story. I found out about "Hide and Seek" because of "Whatcha Say" by Jason Derulo. I still can't believe that I didn't find the original version before Derulo's version. Anyway, I loved the emotion in the song and I believe that this song could describe the entire plot as a whole. Imogene Heap, the singer of the song, said in an interview that she wrote it based on her experience with her parents, who had a divorce when she was little.**_

 _ **Divorce is separation, and that is what Kaneki and Touka experienced. I had trouble thinking what influence the separation had between them, but then I thought what if they had a child who had to experience the separation as well. And thus, the plot for Re:pray was born. I even almost named the story Hide and Seek instead of Re:pray. Almost. While I did choose a different title for my story, this song will always be known as the main inspiration for this story.**_ Also _ **I recommend listening to not only the original**_ song, _ **but the cover version by Christina Grimmie as well.**_

 _ **2\. Okay, I'm gonna go on a whim here and hypothesize that a ghoul pregnancy is way different than a regular human pregnancy. While it takes eight to nine months for a human baby to be developed after conception, I decided to turn the tables for a ghoul pregnancy. In my universe, it takes three to five months for a ghoul baby to be developed after conception. That will explain a lot of things later.**_

 _ **Oh Man, it has been a while since I've posted anything. If any of you have followed me before in my other story, please wait. I'm gonna explain everything in another post I will upload in a bit explaining myself. But anyway, I love Tokyo Ghoul and I have been wanting to write about it for a while. Plus I**_ dont _ **like the fact that there**_ is _ **not many stories involving TouKen, so I made my own. I hope you enjoy this so far and sorry if I'm a bit slow. I like working this way. Let me know what you think in the comments THANK YOU :))))**_


	2. Chapter 1: Rui

_Chapter 1:_ _Rui_ …

* * *

" _I wouldn't trade your love for all the candy_

 _In this great big world_

 _I feel so crazy blessed and so lucky_

 _To be the place you go_

 _When you need to feel safe_

 _When you need a kiss_

 _It's me"_

 _"Me" by Plumb_

* * *

 _Four Years Later_

 _._

The city of Tokyo was barely having the signs of life like it always did due to it being early in the morning, but it was able to retain the beautiful sight of the dawn. The sun was, at first, dim as it stained the town orange and pink, but as soon as the clock was thirty minutes to eight, it exploded with the brightest color of yellow as it rose high into the azure sky. The city, as the sun gives life, started to begin its natural life and wonders roaming. Men and women crowded the sidewalks, stores began to open, schools started to begin and welcome its eager students, and cars were busy in the streets as they're about to head to their destinations. The life of Tokyo was just beginning to go on as it always did, especially in the [3] springtime.

At a small coffee shop/apartment called :re, Touka Kirishima was in a deep sleep in her room when sunlight began to spread into it through her window. As soon as it reached her eyes, she woke up with hazy eyes and looked towards the window.

The teenage she-ghoul would usually look at the sun disgustingly and hide under the covers until Yoshimura had to rip them off her. However, the Touka that slept on that bed was a different person. She did have a nasty look on her face as she looked at the sun that woke her up. It was so bright that it hurt her eyes, yet it felt so nice against her skin. It's so warm and so relaxing as it collided against herself. She couldn't help but smile as bits of the sun embarked on falling onto her face.

She stayed in her bed for awhile, enjoying the sun and remembering how soft her bed was. When she looked at her clock which read 7:45, she gave off a normal groan when she realized that she had to work today. She had her alarm set to 8:00 but there was no way that Touka would be able to go back to sleep for the next fifteen minutes. It bothered her that :re had to open every day at 9:00. Then again, she had nothing else to do.

She got out of her bed still feeling lazy like any other teen. She is almost twenty-two yet she still doesn't know if she's still a teen, technically. Still feeling tired, she slipped her feet into her bunny slippers near her bed and she began to head towards her bathroom. Usually, she would hit into something while walking after she woke up, but she was able to reach towards her bathroom without hurting any part of her body.

While in there, she began to take off her sleepwear, which just consisted of one of her old t-shirts and shorts. When she was stripped naked, she stepped into the shower to finally make herself wide awake with the hot water that poured down her body. Drowsiness was in her veins when she got in but as soon as she felt the hot and comforting water trickle down her body and face, she felt so much better and lost all of her drowsiness.

When she finished, she grabbed the nearest towel near the shower and wrapped it around her breasts. As she dried her body with the towel, she managed to look at herself at the foggy mirror in front of her. With her hand still clutching her towel, she came closer to the mirror and ran her hand across it to clean up the fog to see a clear reflection of herself.

A lot has happened to her the past years since she left Anteiku and it still managed to surprise herself every time she realizes that she changed not only mentally, but physically. She lost a lot of weight and her face was skinny as hell. Her skin was a bit darker, which confused her since she hadn't been outside that much. She was much paler in her teenage years, but now her skin had a nice tone. It's not too dark and not too light, yet she loves it. And finally, her hair took the form of a bob cut as it was much shorter than before. It was not her style to leave her hair longer, so she was able to cut it to where it almost reached her neck. She even dyed her hair a little lighter to give it a nice touch, in hopes that the CCG won't ever find her.

She didn't look like the old Touka that she once was. She looked like how people could see her as: a woman. Not just a ghoul; a woman.

She was glad.

She always did the same routine every morning; always looking at herself in the mirror. She wanted to see if the person she once was was still there. The person who was strong and stubborn for and to anyone that appeared towards her. That was the old her. And she didn't see the face of the old Touka. Not anymore. She didn't want to look at the person who had a troubled past. The girl who would always talk about the past and would always complain about how her life was horrible. It's for the best, anyway, to not reminisce.

What's done is done.

Realizing what she's telling herself, she tried changing the subject by forgetting about her thoughts and began giggling at her reflection. "Wow, Touka," she said in a vague, yet cheery tone. "Look at you. You're not the tomboy your mother once was, huh?"

She gave herself one more giggle before she opened the small doors underneath her sink to grab her hairdryer. Plugging in the plug, she pressed the button up on "High" and started to try her hair, her left hand holding onto the towel and making sure it did not fall.

When she finished and her hair was at its fluffy yet natural hairstyle, she walked out of the bathroom and towards her closet. She already knew that she wouldn't have any trouble picking her outfit.

As she opened the slick, wooden doors she quickly reached for the outfit by the right side of the closet without even checking if it was the right one. A white blouse with a black skirt, black apron and thin tights for underneath: her work uniform.

Yomo knew that her old uniform that she wore while she worked at Anteiku was too girly for her, so when they both found :re, the current coffee shop they both worked in, he decided to give her a uniform that had a more…fair look. Since she was no longer the tomboy people knew she was, she didn't hate her uniform.

When Touka finished drying her body and putting on her undergarments, she grabbed her outfit and began to slowly fit herself through it without getting it wet with the excess water from her body. She grabbed her hairbrush from near one of her counters and brushed out the tangles in her hair. Her hair was still dry from the hairdryer but she still managed to gain a few tangles once in a while.

When she set her brush back onto the counter, she took her makeup bag and started to look in front of the big mirror hanging on the wall near her closet. She didn't like to put in a lot of makeup, but she needed to at least be more presentable for the cafe. As soon as she was done, she took one more look at herself in the mirror and smiled back, as an approval for the way she looked.

 _Congrats, Touka. You're beautiful as always._

Shaking her head, she started to put on her heels and exit her room to see if the others were awake. When she went to see Yomo in his room, his door was already open and she could see that he was still asleep. He usually kept an alarm like Touka, but she concluded that he forgot to turn it on again.

He still had his emotionless expression while asleep, yet the way he looked was still funny. His mouth was wide open with drool racing down his mouth and his body was in a weird form. It was like he was being exorcised. He looked so stupid that Touka had to laugh as softly as she could. When she managed to stop herself, she closed his door and gave herself a little giggle. She wouldn't want her "brother" to lose his beauty sleep.

 _I might as well wake Rui first then,_ she thought to herself.

When she reached the door between the bathroom and Yomo's room, she began to put on a cheery expression and smiled as she already had her in her thoughts already. For her, it would always be such a joy just to think of Rui, be with Rui, or do something with Rui. Of course, Touka had to smile every time she's on her mind. There's nothing else on her mind on what to do when she appeared. It's only natural that she felt that way.

Rui is her daughter, after all.

As soon as Touka settled down her enthusiasm, she slowly opened the doorknob to Rui's bedroom and made sure that the door didn't wake her daughter up since it always had a creaking noise to it. She always forgets to tell Yomo about it after she always visits Rui.

Another same, old habit of hers.

"Excuse me," she whispered as she entered the room without closing the door, not wanting the noise to appear again.

Everything in Rui's room was hard to not notice. Last year, Touka and Yomo asked her what she wanted in her room since she used to have it bland and boring, and she replied that she wanted everything sparkly. Let's just say that thanks to Touka, she was able to not let her get _everything_ in her room shiny or sparkly. Well, it would seem that that that promise never did happen since all of her furniture has bits of glitter: her chairs, her bed, her tabletops, even her walls. However, her decorations and her bed sheets had no glitter whatsoever.

Touka was too busy looking at her daughter's room that she forgot about waking her up first. She knew this, but she decided to let her sleep for a while. Everything in this room was too pretty and flashy that she couldn't just ignore them.

She walked towards one of Rui's shelves near the window. Her shelves had the most beautiful figurines that Touka bought for her and some that she made out of paper mâché. Plus, she even had a colorful collection of books, from picture to small chapter books. She may be four, but she's already smart. She's already reading at a fourth grade level. It scared her mother just by realizing that.

Touka wanted to send her to school already even though she's not the perfect age yet, but she just couldn't let her attend school. Since Rui doesn't go to school, she always attends her mother in the coffee shop and sometimes helps out with the coffee and other treats. Touka wouldn't want to send her daughter to school while she always loved to have her by her side at work.

She couldn't, at least not yet.

Without even noticing, Touka grabbed one of her books and played with the pages without even looking at the cover. As she looked through the words and colorful pages, she suddenly stopped as she saw a piece of paper sticking out of a specific section. When she turned the page to where the paper was, she felt herself smile as soon as she knew what it was. A little photo that Yoriko took and gave to both of them.

Touka grabbed the photo from the page and began to study it with wonder. In the picture, she, Yomo, and Rui were all inside :re with all the other employees, smiling as they all gathered around her in the middle of the crowd. She then noticed a large red circle revolving around a certain moment [4] at the time when the picture was taken: Rui was opening a gift from Yoriko, while she and her mother were laughing as they both snuggled close. Her long, black hair frequented around Touka's face meanwhile, making her remember how the locks were so close to her nose that she almost sneezed

The picture was taken a week ago on Rui's fourth birthday. And to think how much she has grown throughout the small yet wonderful years Touka had been with her. She never thought that she'd be so grown up or mature even for her age. She could speak in full sentences, ones that an eleven-year old could understand, she learned how to walk when she was five months old, and she started speaking two months later.

She's grown to be so mature and so smart…just like her father.

Touka's smile then changed as she thought about her child's father. Her smile was still there, yet it was not as joyful and peaceful as her regular smile. It was a bit awkward, but at the same time, it was…a little bit sad. She always had the smile every time she thought about her deceased lover. Sometimes, she would wonder what would've happened if he had survived the Raid; a little fantasy she liked to picture over and over in her mind. Habits were natural for her to have, but remembering him was the most bittersweet one she could ever have.

Suddenly, she heard the sound of a bed creaking and a object falling to the floor. Her head turned away from the picture and examined the bed behind her. An alarm clock rested on the floor and the bed had crippled blankets rather than aligned ones as Rui would have it while she slept. The closet next to the bed was also open and a few dresses on the hangers began to rock slowly.

Touka smirked a bit once she knew that Rui was hiding from her again. She put the picture back into the book and placed it back in the same spot in the bookshelf, letting herself be able to find Rui without anything in her hands.

"Oh, my God," Touka said aloud, pretending to sound scared. "Where did Rui go? Did she disappear? Did she turn invisible?" [5]

Touka's sarcastic tone was funny enough to make someone laugh in the room as soon as she said her first sentence. She walked slowly to the closet knowing that her daughter was hiding in there when she suddenly heard a sneeze. It was loud enough to make Touka realize that she wasn't in the closet. She wasn't very close to the closet yet, but she was close enough to the bed to see that the curved covers moved. Another grin started to grow on her face as she began to walk towards the covers. Her daughter tried to trick her into going to the closet when she was underneath the covers all along.

Quite smart for a four year old.

Touka then grabbed the covers and yanked them off the bed. "Aha!" The blankets then revealed Rui, who was smiling, even after she saw her mother's face. Her eyes-shining a bright shade of blue like her mother's- widened once she saw her face [7]. Without saying anything, she scooped up her child with ease and carried her from under her arms with both of them laughing.

"Now there she is!" Touka exclaimed with glee. "I thought the closet ate her."

Rui shook her head. "I was so close to tricking you, Mommy. I was gonna get you from behind if you looked into my closet."

Touka couldn't stop laughing, even as she gave Rui a quick kiss on her forehead. "Now that was not very nice, Rui. You almost scared me."

"I'm sorry, Mommy," Rui said with worry. "Am I in trouble?"

"Yes, you are, young lady. And I'm afraid you have to be punished." Touka, now having a disappointed look, set Rui down on her bed and knelt down in front of her. "Do you know the punishment?"

Rui shook her head, now curious and worried of what her mother was going to do. While she stared at her, Touka raised her hands in the air and began to smile again. "It's a visit from the Tickle Twins!"

She grabbed her daughter and began tickling her stomach. Rui's laughter filled the room and she tried her best to stay away from her mother's grasp. However, she was still a baby, so she had to let her mother keep tickling her when she didn't have the strength to protect herself and escape. Though it seems as if she doesn't mind it.

"Do you really have to be this loud?"

Touka took her hands away from Rui and turned her head to see Yomo by the doorway, his bed hair sticking up and his eyes looking dull as always. He really didn't like waking up early. Even if it's for work, he couldn't take the idea of waking up early seriously. He's like the old Touka.

"Uncle Renji!" Rui shouted, unaware that he's upset from waking up too early. She escaped her mother's grasp and ran to him to hug his legs. But then, she changed her position and hid behind them while she was able to see her mother. "Don't let Mommy use the Twins on me!"

Yomo turned his head back to Touka. She couldn't tell if he was still tired or he was already in his normal state. She decided to play along with him. "Uh-oh. Rui, I think you found the Twins' only weakness: my brother's zero-degree personality!"

She raised her hands in the air and twitched them as if the "Twins'" were "dying" while she also made sounds that resembled tiny creatures screaming in pain. Yomo wanted to not be amused, but when he saw what Touka was doing and heard Rui's laughter, he couldn't help but smile. While he did maintain his old solemn face, he was able to break into a smile once in a rare occasion. Those rare occasions involved Rui. He was able to absorb the pleasure that Touka felt whenever they hear her laugh. It always reminded him of his older sister when she tried to make her daughter laugh [6]. It had been able to give him a sort of hope for him that he could be able to be happy daily.

As Touka set down her hands when she was done killing her characters, she raised herself up from the bed and walked towards Yomo, who was still smiling at Rui. "Wow. This is the brightest I've seen you smile. Does this mean that you're not in your morning mood?"

Yomo then changed his persona and he once again displayed his silent demeanor. "Whatever. I needed to get ready for work today anyway. Apparently, I should probably thank you for letting you guys wake me up."

Touka chuckled as she put a strand of her blue hair behind her ear [7]. "No problem. Anything for my big brother."

She gave him a playful punch on the shoulder, but he didn't react. However, Touka could tell that he wanted to smile. It was a rare occasion to try and make him smile everyday, with some help from Rui. She was only able to get some smiles from him, but it made her happy. Ever since the day they left Anteiku, he started to warm up to his feelings and wasn't afraid to let out a smile. He still didn't show whether he's angry or sad, but a smile was good enough for everyone that was around him.

Rui walked away from Yomo and to Touka. She started to tug at her tights, not bothering about stretching them. "Mommy, I'm hungry."

Touka looked down at her face and gave a small chuckle before turning back to Yomo. "Well, why don't you get ready for work while I take care of Rui?"

Yomo didn't say anything but he gave a small nod and walked away from the two so that he would change. When he was gone, Touka grabbed Rui's hand. "Okay, Rui. You can go ahead and get ready while I prepare your food, okay?"

Rui gave Touka a nod. She was able to get dressed on her own since last year, so she didn't need her mother's help anymore. The young mother walked to the exit and gave her daughter another smile before closing the door. She then made her way down the small flight of stairs to the kitchen. She walked towards the fridge and grabbed the first package she saw as soon as she opened the door: a bag of human meat.

After carrying it to the counter, she unwrapped it to reveal large chunks of meat. Pushing it to the side, she opened one of the drawers and grabbed the largest and efficient knife she could use. With it, she grabbed each chunk and chopped it into pieces small enough for Rui to eat, also managing to eat a piece or two.

As soon as she put the pieces into a small bowl and grabbed a fork, Rui was climbing down the stairs, dressed in almost the same outfit Touka was wearing, and, already, despite the height of it, sat down on one of the chairs by the kitchen table.

"Here, sweetie." Touka smiled as she set the bowl in front of Rui.

"Thank you, Mommy," she said with a smile. As soon as she said her thanks for the food, Rui grabbed the fork and stabbed each piece and put them in her mouth. The food and juice were already spreading across her face so fast that Touka was surprised that it hadn't gotten onto her outfit yet.

It was probably due to her eating with her eyes closed.

Rui knew about her identity as a ghoul, so she knew what sort of power she would posses one day. She was told that she would have eyes that were in the color of black and red every time she would eat human meat, the only nourishment that ghouls like herself and her family would eat. She had seen the eyes before, on Touka, Yomo and the other employees, and they scared her. She didn't want anyone else to see them so she would always eat her meat with her eyes closed. She was obviously too young to have her eyes come out every time she ate meat. Whenever a child was too young to show their kakugan, their irises show a bright red instead to give people an idea that they're ghouls. It's a minor trait, but she prefers to be safe than sorry. She assumed that she would scare everybody that looked at her, but her eyes were not the scariest things that Touka nor her friends have seen.

By the time she was done with her food, Rui pushed her plate forward with her eyes still closed and Touka knew that that was her cue to take it away. Yomo then entered the room dressed in his uniform as she finished washing the plate.

"Hey, what time is it?" Yomo asked as he pat Rui's head as she grabbed the nearest napkin and wiped the remaining blood off her face, her eyes finally open to show her average cobalt irises.

Touka looked at the small clock next to the fridge. _8:45 already?_

 _"_ Oh, man," she said. "It's 8:45 already, Bro."

Yomo gave a quick nod. "Well, we should set up :re already. Do you need to eat, Touka?"

Touka shook her head. "I'll just go ahead with you to set up. Come on, Rui."

The small child just finished wiping her face when Touka carried her in her arms and she and Yomo began to leave their home. They lived on the second floor of the building, but they were able to reach towards the coffee shop by climbing down the stairs. It was basically the same structure Anteiku once was: a coffee shop on the first floor while being an apartment on the second one. It was the only kind of building that they both were comfortable living in, and Kaito was kind enough to help them find a place that was able to fit their standards.

Touka was expecting to see chairs on top of tables and dishes that were still not cleaned from yesterday's shift when they entered the shop. However, she did not expect to see the shop entirely spiffed up and clean. All the tables were fixed, the floor was swept and mopped, and the dishes had been washed. Everything was spotless.

"Ehh?" was all Touka was able to say as she saw what the looks of the cafe. She wasn't that surprised, but she was a bit startled since she had came to the shop at around this time and always saw it being dirty. She would always fix it before the other employees came in and before the shop opened, but it was the first time she saw the shop being cleaned up besides herself and Yomo.

"Close your mouth, Touka-san," a familiar voice commanded. Touka closed her mouth with panic as she heard the voice. However, she was able to comprehend who's voice it was and calmed down as soon as she saw one of the employees cleaning one of the last of the dirty cups.

"Oh, Miyu, it's you," she said with her right hand held against her forehead. "You almost gave me a fright."

Miyu scoffed. "Really? 'Cause I didn't expect _you_ out of all people to be 'frightened.'"

Before Touka could make a reply, Rui squirmed out of her arms and landed on the polished floor before she started running towards the dark-haired she-ghoul. "Aunt Miyu!"

Rui's collision towards Miyu's legs was strong enough to make her lose balance in her left leg. Her knee was able to save her from falling entirely so she was able to resume her natural posture while she welcomed the strong clutch of Rui's arm. She gave the small child a smile that was barely noticeable and ruffled her head. "Hey, kiddo." Her voice was weak, but she did her best to stay happy for the kid.

Miyu, to Touka and Yomo, would pass for the adult-version of Rui if it weren't for her eyes and skin. They were both in colors that would only be found in the bodies of the deceased: grey in the eyes and white in the skin. However, she was able to still look attractive due to her curves and medium-sized breasts. Her hair was raven black and reached down to her breasts, having bangs that were able to cover her right eye like Touka's. She looked as if she was already dead if it weren't for the fact that she's able to walk like a natural being. Her personality's very calm and silent, although there were times that she unraveled a smile while she was working or talking with her coworkers.

"Did you actually fix the entire shop, Miyu?" Yomo asked while he fixed his gaze on the coffee cups.

Miyu gave a small nod before she moved away from Rui's grasp to put away the cup that she had finished cleaning. "I accidentally set my alarm clock too early, so I decided to come to work so I could fix the shop."

Touka walked closer towards the others and gave Miyu a smile, even when she wasn't making eye contact. "Well, thank you, Miyu. We really appreciate it."

Miyu looked towards her boss only to quickly turn away, being able to give her a disgusted face. "Whatever, don't get used to it. This will probably be the only time I'll do this for you guys."

Touka stopped smiling, but she knew that she was joking. Miyu always had a nasty attitude-a reminder of what Nishiki had always acted like-ever since they met when they first opened :re. Yet she was able to do childish things like apologize for dropping a plate or making sure that Rui was alright whenever she's babysitting her. She's bi-polar, but everyone knew that her bad side was her way of toying with everybody's feelings.

The bell rang, meaning that someone had entered the shop, and everyone turned their heads to see two more employees enter.

"We're here!" Tomoya shouted with worry as he and and Kaito arrived. "We're not late!"

"I think that's a bit obvious, Tomoya," Kaito assured his friend as he fixed his blonde hair, looking extreme from how he had to run to make it to work on time.

Tomoya ran up to Rui to give her a pat on her head, making her giggle. "This is the earliest I've been here though, Kate!"

And that is true. He usually forgets to set his alarm clock and he comes to the shop at around eleven or twelve. He's been late so many times that it's surprising that he hasn't been fired yet.

Kaito winced when he heard his friend call him by his girly nickname. "Don't call me that, Tomoya. I told you it's _Kaito."_

Toukathen gave a chuckle and walked towards the two. "Oh, come on, _Kate_. I think that nickname suits you."

"No, it does not!" Kaito complained, letting Rui, who was now at her mother's side again, release another giggle louder than the previous one. He gave her a bright smile as a response to her before he faced Touka. "Are Aomi and Yoriko here yet?"

Touka shook her head. "No, but they should be here. The shop is about to open soon."

"I made it here before Mii-chan?" Tomoya asked with wonder. He didn't need to wait for a response as he made a fist, raised it in the air with glee, and jumped high enough for his dark lavender hair to move along with him like a samba dance. "She now owes me three thousand yen!" Another giggle was heard in the shop, but it came from Touka.

It was always wonderful to see her coworkers socializing with each other before they started working. It reminded her so much of the other employees at Anteiku. They're all ghouls, except Yoriko, and they all wished to work in harmony and be able to combine the two races to have a pleasant conversation, as did Anteiku. She would often compare her current friends to her old ones. Aomi, another employee at :re, is like Roma: a bit clumsy yet super friendly. Tomoya is like Koma: super ecstatic and a jokester. Miyu is like a combination of Nishiki, Yomo, and Irimi, being a pain in the neck and sarcastic yet can be so calm and kind. Only Kaito was his own person, not making her remind herself of anybody she knew. However, he did manage to have some traits of everyone in the coffee shop, including Yomo. They were best friends and they both even take over the shop, only when Touka wasn't around. Already they, along with her and the other employees, were all a family.

The sound of a bell rang once more, and everyone in the shop turned to the front door to see two more workers coming in. They were the last employees that they recognized, so everyone's now reassured that they didn't have to worry about any more workers being late. Aomi, with a doughnut in her mouth and her purse in her hand, barged into the shop without worrying that she made a loud noise that filled the shop's silence. Yoriko, who appeared by her side with another doughnut in her hands, was the only one being startled by the sound her companion made.

"Rrewrehurr," Aomi mumbled loudly, yet still couldn't be comprehended by the other employees. By looking at her coworkers' confused and shocked faces, from how they couldn't understand her and how she was eating regular human food, she shoved the doughnut down her throat and ate it whole, probably to ignore the bad taste she must have had contact with.

"Sorry for being late," Yoriko apologized, knowing that Aomi won't repeat what she said. "Me and Aomi-san woke up late and we skipped breakfast, so we decided to go to one of the shops around here for doughnuts."

"More like, _she_ decided to get doughnuts," Aomi added, her face covered with leftover crumbs that she desperately wanted to brush off. "I didn't want any food, to be honest. She just had to buy me one."

"Oh, stop whining, Aomi-san," Yoriko pouted. "I feel bad that you don't eat breakfast in the morning due to your diet, so one day eating a doughnut won't ruin it."

The other ghoul employees just stared at Aomi, probably trying not to show the shock that she was able to let Yoriko buy her human food. They both lived together as roommates, so it was hard for her to try and not reveal her ghoul identity to her boss's best friend. She had to lie to Yoriko about her not eating by saying that she only drinks "nutrient smoothies" from stores that she "goes to" on her breaks. Though once in a while, she had to eat something Yoriko prepared in their apartment in order to prevent any suspicions. She now understood her boss's pain.

After Aomi wiped away the crumbs off her face, her eyes widened when she saw Tomoya, who was wearing the most silliest grin on his face. Her reaction was not because of his silly reaction, but because he was here before her. With that, she just remembered the bet that they both made.

"Tomoya?!" She exclaimed, with shock and disappointment. "What?! No!"

Everyone in the shop started laughing except her. They were all well aware that this wasn't the first time Tomoya and Aomi made a bet with each other. The streak for who won each bet was so long that the other employees lost track when they reached a hundred.

Tomoya, walking towards her with his arms crossed across his chest, laughed sarcastically. "I'll take my three thousand yen now, Mii-chan."

He held out his hand as he patiently waited for his reward. While Aomi let out a disapproving scowl, she reached inside her purse to grab a huge wad of money without even checking if it was three hundred yen. She slammed the money so hard against his hand that she was able to scratch them with her manicured nails. "Ow!" Tomoya exclaimed.

Aomi scoffed, letting a small grin grow and flipping her red hot hair as she walked away from him. "Serves you right for taking my money."

"It's your fault for making a bet with me in the first place!" Tomoya pointed out, his voice loud and his eyes still on his hand as he tried to blow on it to ease the pain. Even when he knew that he's a ghoul and a small scratch is nothing to them, the pain can be displayed mostly from surprise.

"Children, children," Touka playfully called to them before another argument could burst inside the shop like a volcano. When they both looked towards her, she crossed her arms with disapproval and as a joke. "As much as we all would love to enjoy seeing you two argue, we all got business to do in the shop." She pointed to the nearest clock on the countertop, which read in bright red _8:59._

Tomoya and Aomi, without wanting to argue anymore, turned their bodies towards their boss and bowed their heads. "We're very sorry, Boss." Tomoya's voice was very calm, meaning that he really was serious, while Aomi said her apology in a sarcastic tone, making anyone know that she will get back at her coworker for taking her money. Nevertheless, she enjoyed how they both said "Boss", so she forgave them.

With the matters fixed and the clock almost at 9:00, the employees went over to the countertops to grab their aprons and prepare ingredients for their coffee, managing to happily greet Rui. The only one that was able to give hugs to both Rui _and_ Touka was Yoriko. She always enjoyed greeting her best friend and her daughter in the mornings as they prepared to work. It brought a smile to Touka's face also.

When they finished exchanging hugs, Touka walked towards the door to grab the sign that's used to announce the daily specials, which was already written by Miyu. She walked outside the door, letting the bell ring as a practice for when customers come in for their daily coffees. Once outside, she set up the sign to stand by itself and changed the little sign that said " _CLOSED_ " into " _OPEN_ ". She looked at the sign with a calm yet hopeful expression, right before she walked away from the entrance of the shop so that she could stretch her arms. When she finished, she gave herself a pleasant smile as a special guide to help her get through another, possibly busy, day.

"Alright," she said to herself. "Let's do this." She turned around to go back inside the shop when she felt something odd.

She stopped in her tracks and looked towards the long aisle of neighborhood shops and apartments. Nothing was making a sound, there weren't even any cars at the street at her right, and no one was around. It was natural for it to be so silent since they lived in a quiet neighborhood. However, Touka felt as if someone was watching her. Even when the early mornings the neighborhood were always at a quiet state of position, she always looked around the front of :re to see if a person was coming by. She doesn't why she does this, but in reality, she's ignoring the reason why [8].

The reason why she's looking around was that she was waiting for anybody she knew from Anteiku. She hoped to see Irimi, Koma, Roma, Hinami, Yoshimura, even that idiot Nishiki. Sometimes, she would imagine her former lover being alive again and that would make her even more elated to wait outside the shop just so she could see him. Reality, however, hits her hard like a bus and she's always brought back to the fact that Kaneki and some of her friends are dead, and there's nothing she could do to change it.

"Mommy?"

Touka flinched. She turned her head to see Rui by the newly set-up sign, her hands behind her back and wearing nothing but a confused yet worried look on her face. "Are you okay?"

Touka gave a sigh when she realized she was staring out into space again, but she managed to smile at Rui before she ruffled her hair. Even after, she continued to play with her black locks. "I'm fine, sweetheart. I was just thinking. Come on, let's go back to the shop."

Rui nodded with approval and determination before Touka grabbed her from under her arms and carried her by her hip. They both walked to the door, mother and daughter, and let the bell ring as she opened it.

Touka always loved that sound.

It meant that the gentle peace shall begin.

* * *

 **1\. I was in a phase when I loved listening to Evanescence. While reading interviews, I read that Amy Lee's inspiration included Plumb. I decided to check her out and I grew to love her instantly. She really spoke to me and I'm glad I found out about her. Anyway the first album I listened to from her was Blink, her first lullaby album. The album was dedicated to her children and other children in the world. This song is my absolute favorite out of all the songs in** _ **the album. No, I may not be a mom, but I understood the feelings since I read them in many novels. I thought that this song would describe Touka's relationship with her daughter perfectly.**_

 _ **2\. I know that Tokyo Ghoul:re takes place two or three years after the events of Tokyo Ghoul, but I'm going to make it four years. This is for two reasons: One, I want Rui to be a fully developed child and I don't like the fact of a three year old talking like a professional. I know she seems smart because of her heritage, but her being four just seems right to me. Two: Look up Tarot Card 4.**_

 _ **3\. I don't know what time of year it was when Haise met Touka, so I decided to make it springtime. Let's say around March to April, since Rui was probably born in that time.**_

 _ **4\. The Tarot Card hints that Ishida-sensei (yes, I'm calling him that; don't judge me) put into Tokyo Ghoul is ingenious. If he was a real life author, then he would be in the New York Times for years and years and years haha :) Anyway, I decided to add in some of my own Tarot Card hints in honor of him. But I won't say what tarot card is included here, that's just take away the fun of researching and guessing, right?**_

 _ **5\. Monster's Inc, anybody? Anyone? Anyone at all? Huh, I'm such a child.**_

 _ **6\. If you've recently read Tokyo Ghoul:re Chapter 70, then the irony is EVERYWHERE.**_

 _ **7\. I keep reading fanfics about whether Touka's hair and eyes are really blue or purple. It's been bothering me for a long time and I still don't know which one is the right color she has! Anyway, I'm just gonna say that her hair and eyes are blue for now.**_

 _ **8\. Remember the after credits scene from the finale of Tokyo Ghoul Root A? I decided to include it into this chapter. Idk why but I just imagined Touka looking off into the distance while Rui calls for her to snap her out of her trance.**_

 _ **Oh, my God. I never thought that I would get so many followers this fast. I mean, I got ten favorites in one day. I'm so happy for that. Also, I would like to say that the next chapter might take a while since I promised my other followers I would update soon on my other story. Please be patient with me and I will be able to anage everything soon. Thank you and I love you all! XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD**_


	3. Chapter 2: Forward

_Chapter 2: Forward..._

* * *

 _"In the shadows, they fall and they broke_

 _The fire burns in our eyes!_

 _We are lost like the legion of souls_

 _Only the lonely know"_

 _-"Only the Lonely" by INDIANA_

* * *

 _The pain_

 _The pain made everything else go away_

 _The pain is what he felt in his entire body._

 _The pain spread inside of him, like butter on toast._

 _It could be similar; the fact that his body could almost be crisp thanks to the feeling._

 _The pain left a scarcity of his regular reliefs._

 _They all vanished within a movement of the body._

 _He did not want it._

 _Already, his body begged for the serene state he once was in._

 _He did not want it anymore_

 _He begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged and begged…_

"Get up, Haise."

[2] Haise Sasaki snapped away from his trance and was now back to where he was in in position: spread out on the floor. He sighed in disappointment as he had come to the realization that he was over exaggerating the pain again. Every time he sparred with his mentor, Special Investigator Kishou Arima, he expects him to give him the worst kind of pain. The most powerful Investigator would not hesitate to not show mercy to his foe. He was full of surprises and there was no telling what he would do.

Yet somehow, he doesn't show his infliction onto Haise.

Eyeing his disciple on the floor, Arima sighed before he headed towards him. "You should work on your style of attack next time," he commented, holding out a free hand to the half-ghoul Investigator.

Haise looked at Arima, hesitating since he was afraid he would attack again. After a while, he raised his hand to hold onto the other. In a swift move, he was now on his feet again.

Realizing that Arima was waiting for him to speak, Haise nodded slightly. "Yes, Arima."

Arima nodded back to him before releasing his grip and walking away, probably to clean up the mess they both made when they sparred. "Now, enough about Urie. Let's get back to why I called you here."

Haise fixed his sleeves and dusted of small remnants of the floor from his pin-striped pants. "It's about Serpent, right?"

Arima didn't even nod as an assurance. "Considering that you managed to let him escape, as well as Torse." Haise attempted to hide a nervous chuckle, but it was the few beads of sweat that made Arima realize his student's incompetence. "Though this is the first time that I have seen a ghoul so ambitious to kill one of our most wanted."

"I guess it could be a coincidence," Haise suggested. His eyes shone with an expectancy that Arima would be fine with his vague theory.

"Could it be a coincidence that you might know Serpent?" Arima asked.

Haise stood silent. Already, he could feel himself back to where he and his squad fought Torso and Serpent. Not only did her loose control, but he came across and anomaly that even he couldn't evaluate. He had caught a glimpse of Serpent's face when he purposely took off his mask.

His appearance was ironed into his head. He remembered his bronze eyes and hair that he had only seen on medallions that Akira had shown him. The curves of his face; it was slim but mellow. The appearance terrified him. But what terrified him the most was the name that came out of his mouth once he noticed his appearance.

 _Nishio-senpai…_

"Haise?"

Haise blinked and stuttered as Arima called for him. "Oh, uh, forgive me, Arima."

Arima sighed, his eyes closed and his cold demeanor remained. "It's fine if you don't anything. It wouldn't be surprising to see a ghoul or two who knows you."

Haise shook his head. The ebony roots in his hair were the only locks that moved more frequently than his Snow White ones. "It's not that, sir," he admitted. "It's because…I never thought about my past until then."

Arima narrowed his eyebrow. "Really?"

Haise nodded, his posture in an uncomfortable position. "The fact that a person who once knew me appeared before me, just me…it doesn't feel as nostalgic as I expected it to be. I felt something much more different than nostalgia."

Arima quirked his lip, almost as if he was preventing himself from speaking his mind. "If you did not feel nostalgia, then what did you feel?"

Haise looked over to Arima, his position compared to a mad scientist while the Investigator disciple was compared to an Igor. The weight of Arima's question suddenly sounded like an order. He could even tell that his tone was very bland to be spoken in about the topic. Even so, he didn't hesitate to reply.

"…Fear."

The word created an enigma to himself. He may be a half-ghoul and he may understand any emotion he had in the past, but it was different. He knew fear; he knew nostalgia; but he felt them at terrible times. The instinctive panic was not suppose to be formed at a moment to where its climax would excite a person with amnesia like him. Even so, the nostalgia did not remain; what replaced it was terror.

He couldn't even tell if that's expected of him or not.

The shock of the word was effective enough to not let Haise notice Arima walking towards him. He managed to snap out of his thoughts when his mentor playfully knocked his head with the backbone of a book.

"Here," Arima said, the same persona lingering in his face. It was the only thing Haise noticed as he looked up at him. "The book you recommended to me."

One of Haise's eyebrows quirked up. It would have matched the expression of a shrewd yet charming womanizer. Even so, it was not fitting for a man with a quiet and subtle having his eyebrows frozen in position, Haise relaxed his face as he took the book from Arima. "Thanks."

"I enjoyed all of the short stories," Arima commented. "But if I had to choose, my favorite would have to be 'Crossbreed'."

"Arima…"

"It was ingenious of Kafka to include a crossbreed of a kitten and a lamb, but I couldn't help but deem that as a hilarious turn. I mean, out of all the animal he could have chosen to experiment in his story, he chose two adorable yet weak creatures."

"Arima…"

"If I were in his shoes, I would have chosen animals that were much more powerful than the ones listed in the story."

"Arima, did you even listen to me?"

"Yes, and in doing my best to change the subject for your sake."

Haise stepped back and he no longer asked for Arima's attention. Blowing away a strand of hair from his face, Arima continued.

"What's don't in the past is done in the past." He walked close so that he would recreate the same distance he and Haise had before. "If you cannot remember what happened to you in your past, then you stop yourself from experiencing what's happening now. Even if you're curious, don't hesitate to destroy those suspicions."

"That's a little brutal, Arima."

"Who do you even think you're talking to?" Arima's glance shone too bright, the confidence in his heart almost making it intimidating.

Haise's eyes dimmed and looked down. "Sorry," he apologized again.

"Stop apologizing, Haise. Again, if you don't know anything, you don't know anything." He stared at him. "Still, I'm starting to suspect something. Could it be your voice talking again?"

Haise looked up in a quick flash. "I don't know," he replied. He remembers that voice. The one that keeps telling him to "accept him" and "use him". It's scary, because not only is the voice intimidating but from the way he asks for it…it's not hard to realize that that voice must be his past self.

"Maybe it could be it again," Arima said. "Could it be that, because of that voice, you desperately want to know your past? Like your past friends or family?"

Haise shook his head, not realizing that his hand was on his chin. "No, I'm really happy living like this. Even if I did remember my past, I would choose this life over that one."

Arima clicked his tongue. "That's a rather blunt answer, Haise. What about your family, if you have one?"

His hand still remained on his chin, moving it as if there was a scratch he wanted to soothe. "I wouldn't want to try. It doesn't matter, anyway; I already have a family. The Quinx squad are like kids, plus I actually think of you like family." His eyes widened and his hand moved down to his side, embarrassment rushing through his cheeks.

Arima playfully smiled, but his eyes remained dull. "In that case, I expect to meet my grandchildren soon. Now, help me wipe the desk please."

A blush crept in through Haise's cheeks, wondering if Arima's comment was a tease towards him, and he chuckled before he assisted the Investigator with the desk.

As he helped him, Haise's mind went astray. He was thinking about the conversation earlier. While he did say aloud that he did not care about his past, he suddenly had curiosity crowding his mind. Did he have parents? Was he an orphan? Was he an outcast? Was he popular? Questions like that ran in circles and he had no clue how to answer them. He did want to try and meet the people that were known for creating his first unknown years. Nineteen years and he doesn't know what happened in that time. He wondered if there could be anybody that could recognize him.

What did he leave behind?

* * *

"Have a great day!"

Rui gaily said to two customers as they were about to leave the cafe. The way the child properly bowed was so effectual that it made the customers' hearts melt. With their hearts filled with bliss and satisfaction, the customers waved goodbye to Rui, who was unaware that they were nice enough to send her their departing salutations.

Touka looked towards her child as she was preparing coffee. Even while she wasn't paying attention to how the coffee was made, she paid her attention towards Rui.

"Touka-chan!" Yoriko exclaimed, breaking Touka's gaze. She turned away to face Yoriko, giving her her lovable expression while it still showed worry. "You need to focus on the coffee. You don't want any customers to stop coming."

Touka rolled her eyes and set her teapot down on the counter and looking towards the vermillion-haired human girl. "If that's the case, Yoriko, then where are the muffins?"

Yoriko's eyes widened as she heard the special keyword. She turned away from her best friend and opened the oven behind her to bring out a tray of muffins. Black smoke, barely a wisp much to Touka's relief, escaped the oven and exhausted the roof of the muffins. While the fumes were not dangerous, the unpleasant aroma entered the women's lungs and made them vent out coughing.

"Yoriko," Touka coughed, her hand waving away at the smoke until it dissipated into thin air, "one of these days, you're gonna burn down a building."

"Now, don't complain, Touka-chan," Yoriko affirmed. She set her tray on the countertop to let the thin excess of smoke escape from the muffins. When they disappeared completely, she grabbed a muffin and presented it towards Touka and herself. "See?" She brought the muffin underneath her nose and sniffed. "It still looks delicious."

Touka smiled as she saw her friend twirling the muffin. While it had gotten through a hideous trouble, it still had it's natural shade of brown. Even if all human food looked disgusting to her, she was able to see what looked good and what didn't. It did come in handy whenever Yoriko made her her special dishes.

"Alright, then," Touka said. "If they're still good, then go ahead and wrap them up and put them on display."

Yoriko giggled, her hand covering her mouth. "You're still as demanding as ever, Touka-chan."

"I only act like this since it's work. Now could you please hurry with the muffins?"

"Yes, Boss!" Yoriko saluted the manager before she grabbed the tray and walked over to a different part of the countertop, possibly thinking about double-checking the muffins. Touka could tell in her face that some did not turn out like the one Yoriko displayed.

"Mommy!"

Touka turned her head to see her daughter running towards her, her polished shoes making loud _clanks_ on the tiled floor. She smiled as she knelt know to reach towards her height, making herself hidden behind the counter.

"Mommy, can I try making coffee?"

Touka nodded before grabbing a tall stool and setting it next to her. She grabbed Rui by the waist, trying not to ruin her dress, and placed her on top of the stool. Without her mother's help, Rui began to gather all the necessities needed for making her coffee. After a few minutes, she started pouring her coffee into one of the cups placed in front of her by Touka.

"This looks good, sweetie," Touka said. "Now let's see how it tastes."

She picked up the cup but the handle and let the rim touch her lips as she tasted it. Smacking her lips, she put the cup down. "The coffee is a bit bitter again."

"Really?" Rui whined.

Touka ruffled her hair. "Don't worry, Rui. It's getting there. You just have to be a bit more patient with it."

Rui smiled, raising her small fists. "I'll do my best next time, Mommy!"

Touka smiled. _My daughter is so cute,_ she thought. Every time she sees her trying to make coffee like her, it warms her heart. She can't drink coffee yet, but it was nice to see how determined she was in making coffee and following her footsteps.

The sounds of a bell were heard, and Touka looked up to shout her greetings. "Hi, welcome to :re!"

The customers were a young man, about in his mid-30's with short orange hair, and a young girl, dressed in a school uniform, holding onto his hand. Once he heard her salutations, he smiled as he approached her near the counter.

"What can I get for you today, sir?" Touka asked as she grabbed Rui to put her down.

"I'll take an espresso to go, please," the man replied as he grabbed money from his wallet.

"Coming right up," she said as she moved the stool.

The man looked down to his daughter and picked her up from the ground to place her on one of the seats. "Do you want a muffin, Izumi?"

Izumi didn't hesitate to nod her head. Touka smiled and nodded to assure her that she'll get it as well. As she made the coffee, Rui snuck around the countertop and climbed one of the chairs next to Izumi. She started staring at her, not caring that anybody would notice. Apparently, Touka was the first.

"Rui!" She said. "Stop staring."

Rui turned away from Izumi, changing her gaze towards her hands on her lap. The man looked towards the girl who was mentioned.

"I'm so sorry, sir," she apologized. "She's really calm.

The man smiled. "It's alright. We all have kids who act that way. How old is she?"

"She just turned four last week," Touka replied, mixing the ingredients together with her pot.

"Oh, she's almost Izumi's age," the man said, now taking a seat next to his daughter. "Though she's almost going to turn six in a few weeks."

"Are you in school?" Izumi asked Rui, making her eyes move from her lap.

Rui shook her head. "Not yet. You look nice in your uniform."

Izumi smiled, fixing your hat. "Thank you! My daddy said I have to wear it every day for school!"

Rui suddenly started to look confused. "Da–ddy?"

Izumi nodded. "He says that everybody has to wear it, though I have to take very good care of it."

"Which is true, Izumi," said the man, placing a kiss on her forehead, making her giggle. Rui still looked confused as she stared at the girl and her father.

"He's not your uncle?" She asked.

Touka looked up from her process of pouring the coffee into the cup, being shocked at what Rui said. Izumi tilted her head. "No, he's my daddy. You have one too, right?"

Rui stood in her seat like a statue, not knowing what to say. It was like she was not known to the word and meaning. Part of that had to be Touka's blame. Looking down, the dark-haired child shook her head. "No."

Izumi stared at her, her eyes wide. "Really? That's so weird. You're weird for not having a daddy!"

"Izumi, that's enough!" The man intervened, turning himself towards Touka, who was suddenly scared for her daughter. "I'm so sorry about her. She's really blunt whenever she meets a new person."

Touka shook her head slowly as a way to say that it's alright, but in truth, she wasn't paying attention to him. She was in her own thoughts about what Rui must be feeling. She was reminded about how she never once mentioned her father to her. She never asked about him, but she still hated herself for only talking about him behind her back.

Shaking her head, not doing anything to forget what she experienced, she poured the coffee in the to-go cup and gave it, along with a chocolate muffin, to the man in front of him. "Thank you for coming to :re." She bowed, probably not wanting to see his face.

The man smiled, giving his money in front of her before he grabbed his daughter by her waist and setting her down on the ground. He grabbed the coffee and muffin, and the father and daughter exited out of :re without turning back. Rui looked at them both as they left, her joyful face being wiped away as if she was thinking about what happened. Touka couldn't clearly see her face, but she could sense her daughter's wonder.

"Rui?" She asked. Rui turned away from the door and looked at her mother, her face still not being happy. "Are you okay?"

Shaking her head, as a way to snap her out of her thoughts, Rui smiled at Touka, placing her fingers on her chin. "I'm fine, Mommy," she replied before she climbed down the chair to walk to the door to greet more future customers.

She didn't say anything to her mother for the rest of the day.

* * *

 ** _1\. To be honest, I had no idea what I was thinking when I chose this song. I had trouble trying to find one that would fit since this is was hard for me write as it was. I found INDIANA a couple of years back when I was thirteen, and I suddenly found her again this year ironically. I really liked this song, But I don't know if it applies to the setting and tone to this chapter. But I did my best, and I hope this will be suitable for the chapter._**

 ** _2\. The struggle for introducing Haise was fucking real. I had so much trouble trying to introduce him that I had to take some parts from the manga to make it go in with the story. So I'm sorry if this is not how you would imagine him to be introduced._**

 ** _It's been a long week, hasn't it? Sorry about that! I'm trying so hard to keep myself in check with this story and my other one with Underworld. I promise that I will do my best. Everybody is actually really liking this story, from what I can gather when already 20 of you followed me in the first week. I'm so excited for this story and what will happen in the future. With that, I'll see you all next time!_**


	4. Chapter 3: Incident

_Chapter 3: Incident…_

* * *

" _But what if there's something that I keep missing_

What if there's someone that I can't lose

Nights when I'm crying, will he listen?

Isn't there anybody?

 _-"Anybody's You" by Christina Grimmie_

* * *

When it came to the silent treatment, Rui was a professional.

Ever since the day of the incident with her and Izumi, she stayed silent. It wasn't even for the entire work session; it was for the entire day. Touka thought it wouldn't last long if it was for a day. She figured that maybe the incident was a fluke and she would be fine once she got a good night's rest.

But then one day became two.

Then three.

Touka was not very well known with Rui's silent evasion from her and :re. Ever since she was born, she would always ensure that she would not feel lonely nor sad no matter what, and even if she did feel sad, she would make sure that she would say something to either her, Yomo or any of the employees of :re. Therefore, because of the endless amounts of support from them all, Rui never had gotten upset, silent, or shown any signs that she was not fine. She knew what to do whenever she needed to confide about something. Four years, and they all trained her so well when she wanted something for her own needs.

Despite that, despite anything, the time for her to not do anything had to be the most intimidating for Touka.

It was the middle of the day, at the time when the sun would reach its limited peak in the sky, and even everything at work was slow and silent. It's not unusual for :re to not have as many customers as it usually does, but it bothered Touka that out of all the days the shop had to be empty, it had to be today. Since the shop didn't have any customers, the employees were doing their own thing. Yomo and Miyu were waiting behind the counter, not talking to pass time, Aomi was washing cups in spite of having washed them three times before, Tomoya and Kaito were sitting by one of the seats by the window, Yoriko was frequently cleaning the tables, and Touka and Rui were also sitting in one of the seats and table–seated very maturely–in the middle of the store.

Touka didn't know what to do except stand up straight and keep her hands folded underneath the table. She continuously glanced at her daughter, playing with the two small dolls that she brought down with her. Just watching her, though, was not amusing, enhancing things at a slower rate than the original. She wanted to talk to her, to help her not be in her quiet state, but she somehow did not know how. She attempted to talk to her, but all she did was either ignore her or reply with a single word. The laconism was easily maintained by a small child that could easily be brusque if she wanted to.

Still, Touka couldn't give up easily. "Hey, sweetie," she smiled. "[2]How are you doing with Ruby and Sapphire?" Rui didn't look up. Even when she mentioned her dolls, Rui stayed silent. "They look very pretty," Touka leaned forward to look at the dolls, noticing how frilly Ruby's red hair was. "But Ruby's hair seems a bit messy." She pointed towards the red-haired doll. "Maybe you should brush it out so it could be as nice as her friend's."

The amount of effort Touka put into her small leaps of conversation was enough to make one cringe from the awkwardness. The employees could hear the conversation, but they did not want to intrude. They didn't even know if they were doing the right thing by leaving the manager with her personal attempts of connecting. Touka could sense what her friends and employees were thinking. They have known each other for four years and they have gotten too close that they could recognize everything in their movements. She almost felt ashamed that they also had to feel what she's feeling. Slouching back into her seat, she sighed, aware of everyone watching her and almost sounding like she was giving up. She's starting to become a lazy mother if anything.

Rui set down her dolls on the table and noticed Touka with her eyes facing the ceiling and slouching like a hobo. Her face was not cheerful nor boring, yet she stared at her mother as if she wanted something. "Mommy?"

Hearing her voice, Touka snapped her neck down towards Rui to see her calming gaze, and not seeing it towards the dolls. Fixing her posture, Touka gave a small smile and folded her hands on the table, predicting that she might ask her something. "Yes, sweetie?"

Rui looked like she wanted to blurt out what she wanted to say, but she kept it in as she tightened her lips. Her hands were underneath the table, holding onto the sides of her chair, and she moved her shoulders to show gracelessness, the one thing showed after she displayed no emotion for three days. She looked side to side before she forced her raised head to inhibit it to stare up at Touka.

"Tell me about my daddy," she blurted out like it was nothing.

The worst thing that Touka never wanted to happen happened. Everything in her body that she had to keep her sane and happy broke. Her smile converted into a sorrowful frown, her mouth wide open with no words coming out, and her eyes widened. They had a gleam, but it was not with joy.

The other employees in the shop, who heard Rui's comment, froze in their steps. Their heads were turned towards the mother and daughter, also shocked of what they had heard. Aomi was so shocked that she dropped a tray of coffee cups she was holding and let them fall to the floor. Broken glass was heard, as an assistance of what their hearts sounded like, but nobody turned away to stare, help, or scold Aomi. Even she didn't notice that one of the broken glass scratched her feet, being open from her flats, making them bleed for a brief moment before the cut sealed as if it never existed.

They all knew about Rui's father, aside from Yoriko who only knew half the truth(she thought that he was human and died at the bad place, at the bad time). They knew that he died at the Anteiku Raid, and he had to leave behind not just a heartbroken girlfriend, but a child with no memory of him. While they have not experienced that kind of memory, it still was a [3]whiplash to them: being reminded that their friend could not bring herself to talk about her daughter's father. She could've but she didn't. Because of that, she didn't know what to say.

The world went back into a normal pace, and Touka flexed her wrists to keep herself from not coming closer to shock. "Uhh," she murmured, clenching her fists underneath until the knuckles were white. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything," Rui said simply, not thinking about being specific. She had the expression of her mind being prepared to be preoccupied with what her mother would tell her. Her eyes gleamed brightly with determination and her knees were no longer dangling by the chair but rather rested on top of it.

"Oh, umm," Touka said, not knowing how to take the situation lightly. Her hands were no longer in fists, and one of them traveled to grasp her arm. It was not a strong grip, but it was keen enough to make bits of skin ascent from its average point on her arm. "What made you want to ask?"

"Because of Izumi and her daddy," she replied lightly, her hands being on the table. "And other daddies with their daughters that I keep seeing. How come they have one and I don't?"

Touka let out a deep sigh, in hopes of making her bite her tongue. "Sometimes, sweetie," she continued, her hairs bristling. "Not all families are perfect. Sometimes there's a family with no mom; sometimes there's a family with no dad; sometimes there's a family with neither both."

"So is daddy dead?"

Sometimes Touka didn't like how Rui understood more words than necessary. In another circumstance, she would've ignored the question, depending on how inept it was. She felt that there was no need to answer questions that were too dazed that even she wouldn't understand why they wouldn't comprehend it. But now she did not want to show any weaknesses towards her daughter, the one person who looked up to her. Even so, she had no hope that the outcome of her answering, being heard or not, would be good.

"Yes, he is," she replied miserably. The employees took steps forward and sometimes of them closed their eyes in dismay and distress.

Rui froze, letting the simple reply sink into her head and her heart. "Alright," she continued coldly, scaring Touka with her eyes and her single word that presented maturity. "That's fine. I just want to know about Daddy."

Touka rued the gene that made Rui just as stubborn as her and persistent as her father. She placed her fingers on the table to match the same form as her. "Rui…I don't think that this is a good time to tell you about him—"

"Why not?" Rui quirked her eyebrow, her tone easing into a stingy tone. "I want to know, and you can't be the only one knowing everything."

"It's not like that, sweetie," Touka defended, easing her head forward. "You're just too young to understand the circumstances revolving—"

Rui slammed her newly-created fist onto the table as she hunched down, her black hair descending on the table. Everyone in the shop jumped as they saw the youngest employee have a minor breakdown. They're not even sure if they could call it a breakdown. An adversity? An epiphany? Spontaneous nature? Either way, they all involved a sudden disturbance.

"I…don't care," she whispered, her fist being released on the table and her shadow too stiff to follow its master's commands. Her body was shaking, now, and the movements extended by the second. Noises were faintly heard by Touka and she could percept that she was whimpering.

[4]"Why?" She whimpered under her breath, her voice being hard to be understood. "It's not fair. I just…I just…"

Touka didn't leave. She didn't try to reassure her to not be upset. But somehow, no ideas of hers were ever good enough as she saw Rui tense. Not even the employees could even figure out what to do. Her head raised up so it could be seen that tears were trailing down her cheeks and her expression would show heartbreak as she finished her sentence.

"I just want my daddy!"

Not wanting to see Touka, Rui, with her eyes shut, jumped off the chair and ran to the door that connected to the apartment. Her cries of pain and anguish were heard aloud from her mouth and filled the entire cafe with echoes. It echoed for a few seconds until they followed up the stairs to the door that was left open and with no meaning of being closed by the young ghoul.

"Rui-chan!" Yoriko shouted as she ran across the cafe to the door and up the stairs without closing it. Everyone else stayed quiet and shocked as they heard the sound of footsteps gradually fading away.

Immediately, after Rui exited the room, Touka cursed herself and bit her lip. Her hands curled up on the table and all the actions that were only used for violence were all restrained, making her anger not be her main emotion as she always did. She could've let that feeling seep into her skin, but she let guilt be felt in its place.

Abandoning their places, Miyu and Aomi strode over to her table. Tomoya, Kaito, and Yomo didn't come over to Touka, to which they took their time rushing over to the spot where Aomi dropped the coffee cups. While the sound of glass was heard, Aomi sat in the seat that still had a small presence of Rui and placed her hands on top of Touka's. Miyu walked by her boss' side and set a hand on her shoulder. Her expression was not pleasant but it wasn't disrespectful.

"Touka," Aomi said, tightening her grip on her hands. She didn't call her "Boss" like she usually did whenever she was at work. But after saying her name, she and Miyu stayed silent. All they could do was hold onto a piece of her and give their best comfort.

Sounds of steps were heard, and Yoriko came back into the cafe as she closed the door behind her. "She locked herself in her room," she turned her head to Touka and her female coworkers. "And she wouldn't say anything when I tried talking to her."

Touka shut her eyes, preventing herself from letting tears escape. Moving her hands away from Aomi's grasp, she let them go against her hair, the fingers intertwining with some of her locks. "This can't be happening," she whispered. "Why now? Why not later?"

"You're not the only one who feels this way," Yoriko assured her, kneeling down on one knee and placing an arm on Touka's opposite shoulder. "A lot of mothers have to tell their children about their fathers once in a while."

"It's just so hard," Touka complained, her voice being slightly louder. "I don't know if I can tell her."

"Well, you should've told her earlier," Miyu said, her free hand twirling a strand of her hair.

"Miyu!" Aomi scolded. "That wouldn't have been good either way." She pulled Touka's hands away from her hair and set them on the table, her hands being on top. "Don't listen to her. It's not like she's the mother of anybody. If she was, she could've helped you and things would've been much easier."

"A bit off topic, Aomi-san," Miyu commented.

"Ah, man, shut up!" Aomi shouted at her. Miyu didn't apologize, but she had an expression of guilt as she quirked her lips to the side and placed a hand on her cheek. Touka sighed in both frustration and dismay.

"Anyway," Yoriko intervened, eyeing the two ghouls before looking back at Touka. "I think what Aomi-chan and Miyu-chan are trying to say is that maybe Rui needs some time alone to think this through. This is a lot to take in for a child, especially for her age, so she needs some time to think not just about the situation but about you as well. Plus, I doubt that she would stay mad at you forever. After all, she does have your kindness."

Touka didn't smile at Yoriko's comment, mostly because that that's not entirely true. Yoriko sighed, her hand managing to hold onto Touka's hand. "Just try not to think about it, Touka-chan. You can talk to her later, but just give her space for now."

Touka looked at Yoriko and gave a small smile, as well as nodding towards her. Yoriko didn't believe that that sign meant that she was okay, as did Miyu and Aomi, but she decided to take it as an assurance. Smiling, she rose up to her feet as she transformed into a cheery persona. "Well, we better get back to work." She looked towards the two coworkers and pointed at them. "Just because there's no customers yet doesn't mean that this is a day off, women!"

"You're not even the boss, Yoriko-san," Miyu rolled her eyes before walking back to the counter.

"Yeah, well, at least I do my best doing things!" Yoriko shouted. Miyu turned her head to give a smirk and a wink. It lessened when she turn her head around, as she knew that she couldn't try to be cheerful if she tried. Aomi squeezed Touka's hand before she rose from her seat to walk quickly to the counters with Yoriko tailing her. They tried their best to be happy, but they couldn't with the infliction in their minds

While all the employees continued with their commissions, Touka remained in her seat. She already had a lot on her mind. She thought about her herself; she thought about her lover; she thought about her daughter. She thought about what happened between her and Izumi, even about how she had her hands on her chin. She figured that she got that from Kaneki, but she ignored it since she sometimes lies with no need of doing the act. However, she felt guilty that she believed her silly little lie when she had an inkling that it was one.

Because of that, the curiosity few in Rui when Touka never wanted it to appear. Nothing ever prepared her for the moment when Rui would start to grow curious about her father. Most of that inexperience was of her blame: the fact that she said nothing throughout the years about her father. The fact that all she did was kept quiet about the man she loved, let alone mourn in silence, was good enough for her to keep her safe.

Ultimately, her time was up.

* * *

"Earth to Sassan!"

Haise looked up from the files of reports he was reviewing and gaped at his underling, Ginshi Shirazu. He was slightly annoyed by the fact that he had stolen his reading glasses. Ever since he assigned him to be the new squad leader of the Quinx Squad, his cockiness had blown through the roof. He almost wished he hadn't given him the job.

"What's my squad's next mission?" Shirazu asked, pushing his glasses up to his nose by the second.

Haise cast him a shrewd glance. "We're going after a ghoul called Nutcracker." His nimble fingers flashed in front of Shirazu's eyes before snatching back his glasses. "And I'll take these back."

Shirazu's cockiness changed into bewilderment as if he was a part of a magic show and he was the assistant/victims. "But they looked cool!"

Tooru Mutsuki, who was beside his colleague, released a brittle laugh. "They don't even fit you."

"You don't know that!" Shirazu shouted, making Mutsuki raise his hands above his head as if he didn't know anything. If anything, he wanted to stop the conversation. It was accustomed to him to at least be part of a friendly conversation, even while the topic was changed to their vocation.

Haise rolled his eyes again as he put his glasses inside one of the pockets in his coat. Flipping the documents in his hands, he stopped once he reached the fourth page. "Focus, you two!" He commanded, and the two stopped their argument to pay their heads towards their mentor.

After he and Akira visited Shimoguchi at the hospital, he wanted to call in his squad for a meeting about the new ghoul they were hunting down and how they're meeting with Juuzou Suzuya's squad for more details on it. However, he was only able to call in half of his squad. Urie was doing his own thing, as suspected with his selfish needs towards his work, but most importantly because he didn't want to see the person replacing him for the squad leader. Saiko didn't want to go out, considering that she wanted to go out and buy a new game. It was entirely frustrating to see his squad being lazy or disloyal to their teamwork, but he was determined to see some work being done about the new ghoul. He already lost to Torso, and he did not want to be overpowered again. Hopefully, Suzuya's squad will be able to help them out.

"Okay," Haise said after he finished reviewing the information. "I guess that's everything. Besides me having to review all of this to Urie and Saiko again, it seems that you guys know what's going on." He slipped the documents back into his bag without having to break contact. "How about we get something to drink before we head on home?"

Mutsuki nodded with a smile, both being made in a slight manure. "Yeah."

Shirazu raised an eyebrow. "Depends. You paying?"

Haise sighed nervy. "I guess so." He reluctantly grinned, but his hand being on his waist showed dominance. "I've been visiting many coffee shops since I was Rank 2. Then again, I would like to see what we would come across…"

He turned his head to make himself see Shirazu and Mutsuki drowning out his voice by speaking about Saiko. He trailed off his sentence, and his face was tilted to the side with a half smile. Before letting it casually cease form, he turned his head back forward and he continued walking with his underlings on his tail.

The walk was not long—able to surpass five minutes—as there were various localities around Haise to pass the time. There were stores that seemed to provide a possible interest, the traffic was not intrusive, and the other groups besides his own were walking in a silent yet fulfilling way to provide company. He hasn't been to the 16th ward [5] as much, but it's always pleasant for him to notice the calm lifestyle when it is not interrupted by ghoul activity.

Shirazu walked quickly so that he would catch up to Haise. "Sassan!" He shouted, pointing his finger at a nearby sign. "There's a cafe over there!"

Haise stopped in his tracks to take in the sight of the quaint cafe. It wasn't small, as he could see it having a second floor, but it was wedged in between its other neighbor buildings. It was the middle of the day, but a shadow's extension had proceeded itself to cover part of his figure. The aroma of coffee could be inhaled through his nose, and he was suddenly filled with delight and nostalgia. He had never seen this cafe before…but he suddenly felt charged by the sensational tone. It reminded him of home, as if.

Haise nodded with his smile being content again. "Sure. I've actually never been here before, so it'd be nice to see another shop I haven't been to."

Mutsuki nodded but his glance was not towards his companions but rather at the sign displayed on the curb. He looked strangely at it, almost confused. "How do you even pronounce the name, Sasaki-san?" He asked, pointing his fingers towards the sign. Haise and Shirazu walked a few more steps to better their visions on what Mutsuki was mentioning.

Shirazu bared his teeth once he saw the sign. "Rrrrrrriiiiiiiiiii?" He said questioningly, each hesitation being exaggerated by his shark-like teeth, enhancing the chatter through them and his lips becoming dry from not being in contact for a few seconds.

Haise had trouble once he saw the sign, but the amounts of books he had read in his years as an Investigator helped him understand the meaning of the word. It was odd for it to appear yet he was able to make it out. "It's not that hard, Shirazu," he said, his tone being more intent than ardent. "It's pronounced :re."

Positioning himself to his mature and straight manner, Shirazu shrugged his shoulders. "The more you know," he chuckled, making Mutsuki mimic his tone with the same action.

Haise raised his hand, being near the cafe door. "Shall we?"

The two Investigators didn't reply to their mentor as a guarantee towards him. All of them smiling, Haise opened the door, the sound of bells being heard through their ears. He let Mutsuki enter first, his hands being held onto the lapels of his white trench coat, and Shirazu came after him, his hands I his coat and having the ability to hide his teeth with a closed-mouth grin. Once they entered, Haise let himself enter inside, already feeling the warmth of the shop envelop his body.

That would be the only silent and pleasant feeling he would gain for the day.

* * *

 ** _1\. I honestly don't have any words about Christina Grimmie's murder. I found out about her when I was just 10 years old and she was one of the few people I looked up too. Her voice soothed me whenever I felt down and it made me have hope. To hear that someone would be so heartless as to take away such a wonderful person from this world is sickening and tragic. I decided to honor her by including one of her songs from her recent EP in this chapter. I know it's sorta late, but I would like to at least let her know that she will live on through her fans' lives, including my own, forever. RIP Christina_**

 ** _2\. *in a singing voice* WE. ARE THE CRYSTAL GEMS. WE'LL ALWAYS SAVE THE DAY. AND IF YOU THINK WE CAN'T, WE'LL ALWAYS FIND A WAY. THAT'S WHY THE PEOPLE OF THIS WORLD BELIEVE IN. GARNET. AMETHYST. AND PEARL. AND STEVEN!_**

 ** _Yes, I like Steven Universe. Well, sorta. I'm starting to watch the series and I love it! Ruby and Sapphire are two characters later introduced in the show, but I won't say anything else about them because *in River Song's voice* SPOILERS! ;P_**

 ** _3\. "Were you rushing or were you dragging?"_**

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _Considering with the emotions coming in here too early in this chapter, in my opinion, I believe I was rushing, jk lol XDXDXD The serious amount of emotion in the movie "Whiplash" was amazing that I was so shocked by not realizing that the name "Whiplash" fits the title of the movie. Now every time I say that word or someone says it, I am quickly reminded of the film that goes by the same name. As a jazz musician, of course, I watched the movie and I LOVED it. It brought out the emotions and stress that a regular musician would have and I recommend you to watch it._**

 ** _4\. Remember the fight Hinami and her mom had in episode 6 of the first season of Tokyo Ghoul? Brings back memories, huh? *sniffles*_**

 ** _5\. I did some research for :re's location. While it is never said where the cafe is set at, there has been some speculation that it may be in the 16th ward. This is not confirmed, but I would like to mention it as a possibility of the cafe's location._**

 ** _It's been a long time sine I've updated and I apologize for the wait. I apologize if the story is slow, but I need to work this way, but I promise to work as hard as I can. Remember, I have another story I still need to update and it will take a while. Also, I have a question for you guys. When I update my story, is it noticeable on the Tokyo Ghoul list for the website? Because I keep checking it on the page and it doesn't show up. Please let me know what you guys think of the story in the comments please! Love you all and I hope you all o great until next time. BYE BYE! 333333_**

 ** _It has been a crazy week, especially in Orlando. I was absolutely terrified about what happened and I cannot believe that our world has come to the violence. However, I'll still remain positive and hopeful for the future of myself, my family, and everyone living. I know I don't know all of you and I might never will, but that does not mean that I do not care. I do, and I hope that all of you are all safe with your loved ones. We are given lives that we don't kno when it will end, so please enjoy it to the fullest. Thank you and I'll keep praying._**


	5. Chapter 4: Awake

_Chapter 4: Awake…_

* * *

" _ _And if you're sitting right here,__

 _Then why are we worlds apart?_

 _If you're so near,_

 _Why do you feel this far?"_

– _"Worlds Apart" by Seven Lions and Kerli_

* * *

There were things that a person could do to make their bad day into a good day. Even if the chances were, possibly, slim, they would do anything to turn it upside down. If there was anything Touka would do to make herself have a good day, it would be to have the strength to help Rui. However, instead of going to her daughter's room, she chose to do nothing.

Rui's seclusion infected her and she secluded herself to the table in the back of the cafe. It was a dark corner, contaminated with gloom of both the atmosphere and Touka's emotions, and the only embellishment to make it avoid abandonment was a small bookshelf, only able to carry two books and a scented candle. The ambience was unpleasant, as she chose to make it that way: away from any other contact from the other tables, away from everybody else.

No one even had the nerve to try to come to the blue-haired manager to comfort her. They did tell her that she shouldn't overthink things with her secrecy of Rui's father. They did tell her that she's not the only one to comfort her. They did tell her that Rui needs space for now, as with her. They told her everything they could tell her, and yet she remained in her silent territory, sulking and succumbing to the aura of the tiny ridge of the cafe. It's been a while since she had that feeling though. The one time she felt discouraged was when she was pregnant with Rui. It wasn't hard to figure out why.

Touka didn't want to sulk; it's not like she was sulking. It was true that she was not being pragmatic with her past, it hurt to see Rui being so curious. She did plan on telling her about her father when she was probably about eight or nine, a probable age for her comprehension to unfold, but the fast pace was coming to her more rapidly than she had expected it to be. It was already to much for her to take, let alone other thoughts going through her head. Her employees' support; her way of handling things; her emotions were getting to her head. She wanted to stop; she wished to stop.

"Boss!"

Touka flinched as she heard her vocational title. She looked up from the table, still not sure what to make of what happened between her and Rui, and saw Tomoya walking towards her. He seemed to be rushed, as she could see that he wanted to run to her.

Sighing, Touka placed her hands above her eyes to avoid her employee "What is it, now, Tomoya?"

Tomoya ignored her tone, as his nervousness distracted him from his boss. "The do–The doves are here," he stuttered.

Touka froze, her head now shaken with the comment she just heard. Her hand slid off of her eyes, and they stared into space as she was thinking of what to do. It was expected of her, as the manager always has to greet doves whenever they come to her shop. After a while, she stood up from her seat and strode by Tomoya.

"I'll handle this," she whispered as she passed by him, and walked over to the counters. Now, she has another problem to deal with.

* * *

"Whoa!" Shirazu shouted as they entered the cafe. He turned himself in pirouettes as he stared at the shop, his eyes like he has never seen the sun. "This place looks awesome!"

Haise nodded in agreement as he looked around. Even if he wanted to disagree, he couldn't. The cafe did seem small outside, but once inside, it made him almost want to question science. The ceiling was hanging some natural lights, almost as if they were only used on movie sets, from its perfectly wooden aspects. It couldn't be touched, but he wanted to touch the ceiling to see if it was smooth. The tables and chairs were all set with a fair amount of space around each pair, and he couldn't help but notice chairs being by the countertop in the middle of the shop, as well. The floor was properly polished, as well, laminated tiles being in a perfect shade of walnut. But the one thing that admired the entire shop was the amounts of shelves filled with books, decorations, and a few scented candles. He would've been curious what they smelled like if it wasn't for the fact that the cafe already had the fragrance of coffee.

It's like paradise: transformed into a new home.

 _Home_ …Haise thought.

Sniffing the air, Haise sighed with content and looked back towards his underlings. "I can already tell that this place will have good coffee." He closed his eyes and raised his index finger. "My nose kagune's speaking to me."

"Amazing RC cells," Shirazu commented. He smirked but his eyes didn't show the same amount of amusement.

Mutsuki didn't even try to hide his confusion. "Nose kagune?" He questioned quietly. Thankfully, for him, no one heard him.

Haise eyed the employees around the shop. Most of them were far away from them to greet them while others were behind the countertop. There was a tall man behind the counter, with white hair and eyes as grey as Haise's, and he looked very elegant in his casual uniform. His underlings also noticed the man and made some comments about him, but all that he heard was a blur. Everything, actually, was a blur to him as soon as the man looked up to see him. His eyes widened, and it seemed that he was starting to become very cautious.

Haise was very curious about the man as well, as he wanted to speak to him, but he quickly turned away to an employee with lavender hair and whispered something to him. Lavender nodded and he walked away from the counter to around the back of the shop. It was then that he realized that the other employees eyed them. They didn't bother him, because he didn't sense anything as he did with the man by the counter.

Only that man seemed very…interesting to him.

* * *

Touka remembered her days while working at Anteiku, so she kept noticing doves come to the shop and Yoshimura having to serve coffee to them. It was his job as the manager of that old coffee shop. Ever since she became the manager of :re, she realized that she had to take on that responsibility and task. Even if she never liked it, she had to look out for not just herself, but her family, as well.

As Touka walked out from the back of the shop, she walked by the counter of the cafe and stopped once she noticed the doves. Her hands flipped open her leather notepad, almost slipping out of her hands from anxiety, as she saw three doves. One of them had orange hair with two spikes extending firmly on his head, his smile almost scaring Touka as she noticed his sharp teeth in his snarky smile. The other one had dark green hair, stylized in a small bob, and…she can't tell if it's a boy or a girl.

The two doves were talking about something, but there was also another dove facing towards the two, possibly trying to make them calm down. Even if she couldn't see his face, Touka could already sense something from his presence. What she noticed was his white hair. With black strands tainting the pure color. It was a peculiar mix: it reminded her of a zebra. But it wasn't just his hair that she spotted as unusual. [2] He, along with his colleagues, all have a peculiar smell. It was a bit human, yet it couldn't be distinguishable as human. There were bits of something else in there. They were not the same smell, but she could tell which person was which.

Looking to her right, she looked at the employees and noticed every motion as they felt the presence of the doves. Aomi started to walk away from the counter, possibly to go join Tomoya who was still in the back of the shop. Miyu was looking suspiciously at the Investigators while she sat by the counters as her body faced Yomo in the opposite side. It was natural for Yomo to present himself emotionless, but the only thing Touka noticed that assured her that the doves' presence were alarming was his bulging eyes. Nobody even paid attention to Touka now that she's in the room.

"Hey!" She shouted, making Tomo turn his head towards her.

As a matter of fact, everyone but the zebra-headed Investigator looked to her. Touka didn't care about the many eyes glued onto her; she only wanted something to snap her "brother" out of his panicked state.

"What did I tell you?" Touka asked across the cafe to Yomo. Not looking back at him to see if his eyes lessened, she walked towards the doves with a smile.

"Always greet the customers."

* * *

Haise lost his focus on the man near the counter when he heard Shirazu and Mutsuki argue about something. He turned around to face them rather than hear what they were about to argue about.

"What now, you two?" Haise asked, his arms crossed. That action made the two become uneasy.

"They're staring at us," Mutsuki said quickly.

Haise eyes flicked sideways, both left and right, around the shop before looking back to Mutsuki. "Yeah, we're the only people here."

"I don't think it's that, Sassan," Shirazu interrupted. "I mean, that elegant dude but the counter was seriously looking suspicious. It's like he's winning his personal staring contest against you."

"Look, I know what you're talking about," Haise said, "but that doesn't mean that there's a problem. We're just regular customers at a regular cafe, having a regular day."

"Hey!"

A loud shout made him and his colleagues jump. The entire shop was quiet, and he didn't turn around to see who said the single exclaim. All he could notice was Shirazu and Mutsuki's eyes, wide and bright, looking past his shoulder.

"What did I tell you?" The voice asked, obviously not to him. "Always greet the customers."

The voice was gentle, easily perceived as a woman's, and he heard footsteps coming from behind him. The nervousness he had confused him; why was he nervous about footsteps approaching him?

More importantly, why would he be even more nervous about her voice?

* * *

Touka had I learn how to settle down her emotions, especially the violent ones, whenever doves came. Yomo had to teach her as she never once saw him look nervous. All she could do was shrug at him. The guy was just an ordinary customer, despite him being a dove. Even everyone else was so concerned about him

The man turned around.

* * *

Haise turned himself around.

* * *

And then—

* * *

And then—

* * *

 ** _Time was just a myth._**

* * *

Touka couldn't detect anything else around her. Not like she wanted to see; it all seemed bland to her. It was just his face that she put her focus to. The way his face curved. The way his eyes shone, even if they were in the color of mercury. The way his lips almost touched against each other. The way of how he looked astonished her. It even made her eyes widen so much that she was surprised he didn't say anything.

* * *

All his life, Haise wished for something pleasant after he experienced a moment where that said feeling appeared. And after that moment, he wished for the next to be more pleasant than the previous. When he looked at the waitress, he didn't want any other pleasant thing to surpass what he was gazing at.

Looking at the woman almost made him want to fall to his knees and bow to her like a goddess. Her aura was not godlike, but it was soothing enough to match the atmosphere. She was a slim, pale woman, her hair only reaching up to her chin in a fluffy bob cut. It was in a light shade of blue, reminding him of a clear ocean; the Sea of Faith, in fact [3]. His eyes widened at the sight of everything above her neck, and soon she expected her to ask him if he was okay. She didn't, as her eyes at the sight of him, as well.

* * *

 _No…_

She kept doubting herself.

 _No…_

She kept telling herself to not take the dove's appearance seriously.

 _No…_

She needed something to snap her out of her trance.

 _There's no way…_

Out of all the times her lover came up to her mind, it had to be now.

 _There's no way…_

The dove's smell was different. His appearance was different. Even his aura was different. [2]

 _There's no way…_

Her former lover had a tell that helped him diverse him from other ghoul's. He had a body that she had only seen once, his aura was calm yet estranged. Only she was able to notice these things about him.

 _There's no way…_

She thought of Kaneki. It pained her by realizing it, but the dove did. His face was familiar, but it wasn't his. She had nostalgia, but it wasn't strong enough to make her think. For a second, she had hope. She wanted to hope that it was Kaneki. She wanted her fantasy of her lover being alive to come true. She wanted to embrace him; to hold him; to kiss him. She wanted to do so much to him. But she can't.

 _Because he's dead…_

Because he's dead.

* * *

 ** _The myth came true._**

* * *

Haise knew that he was being after what seemed like forever from staring at the woman.

He smiled at the waitress, who was still staring at him, "Are you okay, Miss?" He asked.

The woman's eyes lessened, and her blue orb were much more beautiful when calm. "Uh, yes, I'm alright," she replied. Her eyes were closed for a bit before they opened agains. "I apologize. It's been a long day." She leaned her head forward as a bow, an apology being shown.

He laughed, not wanting it to fill the room. "It's alright. I've had one myself."

The waitress didn't laugh. No laugh, no smile, no return of any action. All she did was walk over to a table towards one of the walls. "Come sit here."

Haise followed as did Shirazu and Mutsuki, to a table near a column of books and papers. "Thank you. And can we have three cups of coffee please?"

"Of course," she replied blankly. As the Investigators sat down, she walked away from them and back to the counter, where the other employees stood by.

"What a cute girl," Mutsuki suddenly said as he sat down next to Haise.

"Cute enough to catch Sassan's eye, if you ask me," Shirazu said jokingly. He smirked, as if he was asking for a comeback.

"Oh, come on, Shirazu," Mutsuki said. "I'm not sure if one girl can catch Sasaki-san's attention. Right, Sasa–"

Mutsuki and Shirazu turned to their superior before they saw him staring into space. He didn't say anything. All he did was gaze down at the floor.

They all remained quiet for the rest of the time.

* * *

 _Touka, you idiot._

That's what Touka kept telling herself in her head. It wasn't because she embarrassed herself in front of a dove, to which it was the least of her problems. She kept berating herself for thinking that that man, a pawn of the CCG, was Kaneki.

 _What an idiot._

"What was that all about?" Miyu asked when Touka came to the counter.

Her expression was still blank, as she was talking to herself, but she managed to shake her head back to reality. Even so, she couldn't think of a proper answer. "Nothing," she said. "I was just dazed; that's all."

Tomoya, who appeared next to her, blinked. "That didn't look like a daze. I heard even know what that was. Do you know him?"

"You're literally asking me if I know an Investigator?" Touka whispered, not wanting to draw the doves' attention. "I think you're just thinking too much."

"What other being would not think too much in a dove's presence?" Kaito added.

"Again, why are you thinking too hard about this?" Touka rolled her eyes. She took out the ingredients for the coffee and placed them on the counter. "Now, I need to work on the orders. So stop worrying about them, and go back to work."

No one argued. They all went their separate ways, and put themselves into parts of the shop like chess pieces. Touka could see all of them, except Yoriko, who suddenly disappeared at time like this.

While Touka made the coffee, she tried her best to not let the doves' notice her glance. It was true that she sensed something from the disorderly, monochrome-haired dove, but she didn't want to draw herself anymore attention. Even if Yomo surprisingly sat in front of home, probably in spite of her curiosity, she had to pretend that they were ordinary customers. Just normal, ordinary customers.

Nothing more nor less.

* * *

"I apologize for the wait."

After fourteen minutes of waiting, the blue-haired waitress came to the table and placed three cups of coffee in front of the customers. Everything else afterward was going fine, until Haise suddenly burst into tears.

"Whoa, Sassan!" Shirazu exclaimed. "What is this, some new joke?"

Haise shook his head. "No, it's not." Setting down his coffee, he wiped his tears with his hands. More started to stream down, yet he didn't wipe those.

"Are you okay?" The same waitress who greeted them asked, who had walked up to the table just as the action occurred.

Haise looked up at her, seeing her hold out a handkerchief towards his direction. He took it and wiped his eyes with it. "I'm sorry. It's delicious…it really is."

The waitress smiled. "Thank you very much."As he gave her back her handkerchief, Haise venerated the way she smiled.

He wanted to compare it to the way she looked, as it was flawless. However, something was off about it. It was a bit awkward, but at the same time, it was…a little bit sad. The way she looked, however, could not break him. The presentation made him think back on his nostalgia. About how he felt gear rather than a sweet relief. Fear did not tease him, even if he wanted to concentrate on it. Whatever he felt was a wave of sweetness, considering that maybe…

 _…_ _he might have known such a beautiful woman in his life._

"Sir?" The waitress asked. "Are you okay?"

Hide was taken aback. "Yes, I'm fine."

The waitress chuckled. "I guess that day really got to you."

"Yeah," Haise agreed.

Shirazu eyed Mutsuki before he mentioned his head to another bookshelf near the table. Standing up, they began to walk away to that specific spot, making the waitress suspicious. "What's going on with your friends?"

Haise found himself in a certain resentment from the two. "I honestly have no ideas. They're barely kids, so I don't know what they have in their minds."

"Kids?" She said. "If you don't mind me asking, how old are they?"

"Nineteen or twenty," Haise said immediately. "And that's only for those two."

"But that's still pretty young," the waitress said. "Especially with his they're both Investigators."

"It wouldn't hit to let a few more young minds into the CCG. At least, that's what my mentor told me."

The waitress leaned her hand on the table. "A bit too much for an intention, if you ask me." Haise blinked in surprise. "What about you? You don't seem old, as well."

"Gee, thanks," Haise said with flattery in his eyes. "And I'm twenty-four."

"Huh, spoke too soon," she said. "You _are_ pretty old."

"Hey!" Haise said, attempting to not shout. "You flatter me and then shoot me down?"

The waitress giggled.

* * *

Touka didn't mean to sound flattering.

* * *

Haise immediately was smitten by her.

He nudged the coffee cup away from him to make room for his hands as they folded together. "Hey, listen."

The waitress didn't say anything, but she positioned herself forwards him.

Haise smiled. "You seem really nice. I was wondering if maybe we—"

"Touka-chan!"

The waitress jolted her head away from Haise, almost making him jealous, as a chestnut-haired woman ran up to the blue-haired woman. Chestnut looked exhausted as she put her hands on her knees while catching her breath.

"Yoriko?" The waitress labeled as Touka said. "What's wrong?"

Yoriko breathed out every few words as she spoke. "I went. To check. If. Rui-chan. Was okay. But then." She stopped breathing heavily, but she didn't finished didn't finish.

"But then what?" Touka asked her, her tone suddenly frantic.

Yoriko took another breath, a sharp breath, before saying:

"Rui-chan's gone."

* * *

 ** _1\. I've known Kerli since my middle school years, and this song is my absolute favorite collaboration between her and another artist. I started listening to Seven Lions and he is incredible! Anyway, the lyrics are pretty literal here, so it shouldn't be hard on why it fits this chapter._**

 ** _2\. *sigh* I thought I had everything under control with this story and how I wanted it to be, but it turns out, I've got a long way to go. I didn't even realize the ghouls' sense of smell would ruin the logic in the story. I really want the story to go my way with Touka not knowing Haise to be Kaneki, so I'm going to be sensible by making a little tweak. I won't say anything yet about why Touka didn't smell Kaneki with his own smell, but I'm telling you guys this to let you know as an answer to the questions you probably have. So until then, please wait a little more until I can give a proper explanation. Also, please note that it's been a years since everyone has seen Kaneki so they won't completely recognize him either._**

 ** _3\. The Sea of Faith is a reference to the poem, "Dover Beach" by Matthew Arnold. Amazing with what analyzing a poem for summer homework can do to you :=P_**

 ** _I figured that a lot of people would wonder how Touka would react to Haise coming to :re for the first time when she has a kid. Though to be honest, for the story, I don't want her to quickly identify Haise as Kaneki. In the manga, Touka wasn't so sure if he was alive and she made :re in hopes that he would return. However, the Touka in Re:pray claimed that he died considering that she saw his dead body. She wouldn't believe that he would magically come back to life as she would wish. I want things to go by at an average pace rather than a fast one when she meets Haise. It'll set things for the future drama in store :P_**

 ** _It has been a very long time since I have written a chapter, considering that I had a lot to think through. Also, I just read chapters 80-83 of the :re manga, and allow me to show my reactions towards those specific chapters.…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!I'm not spoiling anything about what happened, but damn that takes a turn for the worst! The damn drama is driving me crazy and sending me so much closer on the brink of depression (not literally)! It makes me wish I started Re:pray sooner! Anyway, thank you so much for being patient with me and I'll write again as soon as I can! Bye bye!_**


	6. Chapter 5:Sense

_Chapter 5: Sense…_

* * *

 _"This is new_  
 _Feels unused_  
 _I've never met anyone like you"_

 _-"Atlantis" by Ellie Goulding_

* * *

The first thing that Touka did when Yoriko told her Rui was missing was run.

Knocking down a chair on the way, she ran towards the door to the apartment. After running up the stairs and into the apartment, she looked around frantically. She looked in her room, Yomo's room, Rui's room, the kitchen, the spare rooms, any place in the second floor. She looked carefully at any hiding place and corner she could find. But to no luck, she couldn't find Rui anywhere.

Panicked, Touka ran down the stairs back to the cafe. "Rui!" She called out, letting everyone stare at her. The Investigators were staring at her before, but the gaze they gave her was filled with worry. Sprinting from each part of the shop by the second, she was checking every part of the cafe until she started hyperventilating.

Aomi came up to her. "Boss, calm down. I'm sure Rui is still here."

"Shut up!" Touka ordered, but her hyperventilating continued. "She can't be gone. She can't."

The Investigator Touka talked to stood up from his seat and came up to Yoriko. "What's going on? Who's Rui?"

Yoriko, who forgot that the Investigator was still there, widened her eyes as she looked towards him. "Oh, I'm sorry, sir. We don't mean to be a bother, but can we ask you to leave?"

The Investigator's young subordinates walked back to him and glared at him, as if they want answers. "But, Miss, if there's anything we can do–," the Investigator offered.

Yoriko shook her head before he could finish. "I don't think so, Investigator...?"

"Haise Sasaki," he replied. He pointed to the orange-haired Investigator, "Ginshi Shirazu," and then to the green-haired Investigator. "Tooru Mutsuki."

"This is the cafe's problem, Investigator Sasaki," Yoriko replied, not even saying her name in return. "This has nothing to do with you."

"But who's Rui?"

"Again, you don't need to know," she said, her tone a bit annoyed and her head turned away from him.

"Is she another employee?"

The table slammed loud with a small nudge against it as Yoriko turned around. Her patience was gone, and she stared back at him. "She's the manager's daughter, okay?" And with that, she walked away.

Meanwhile, Touka had sat down in one of the chairs, exhausted from running around the entire shop. All of the employees surrounded her and attempted to give their words of comfort to her. Sadly, they wouldn't work as they continued to watch her panic.

"Why?" Touka whispered, her hands in her hair. "Just when we just had another problem. Where could she have gone?"

"Rui knows that she can't go far from the shop," Yomo added.

"Ren's right, Touka," Kaito agreed, his hand on her shoulder. "She may be small, but she's responsible enough to be on her own. Maybe you didn't see her while you were–"

"How can I not notice her?!" Touka shouted angrily. She wasn't crying, but she had a loud tone that shook the shop. "And even if she's smart, she's just a little girl! What if something happened to her?"

"Is everything alright, Miss?" a voice asked. Touka looked behind Yoriko's shoulder to see the Investigators on her tail. Yoriko turned around to see that the Investigators were still stubborn in being interested in the situation. "We told you already. This doesn't involve you, Investigator Sasaki."

 _Sasaki_ … Touka thought.

"I don't think we can leave the situation as it is, Miss," Sasaki said. "If the situation seems serious, me and my underlings can help."

"We what?" The orange-haired Investigator questioned, his back bent forward and his head looking toward Sasaki. "Sassan, are we really-"

"Shirazu, don't start," Mutsuki added, now making Touka even more confused whether he's a boy or a girl as he talked in a motherly tone. "We need to help the manager."

"Mutsuki's right, Investigator Shirazu," Sasaki replied, his tone a bit harsh as he breathed Shirazu's title, before looking back at Touka. "This is something normal, so we can help."

Touka shook her head, trying to handle a smile on her face. "No, no, everything's fine, Investigator. I don't need any help."

"Liar," Sasaki said, surprising Touka. "One of the waitresses told me about your daughter."

Touka wanted to deny it. She didn't like people other than her employees getting involved. Even so, she felt herself nod. "I looked everywhere in the shop and I can't find her."

Sasaki wordlessly nodded. "Was she being under anyone's care before she disappeared?"

Touka felt nauseous, but she managed to shake her head, despite it being the truth. "My friend, Yoriko, kept checking if she was in her room for a while, which she was. I thought she would be fine." She knew that the Investigator wanted to know why this happened, but she didn't want him to ask. She didn't want to have their fight being in her mind. Did that make her leave? It must have, since she would have never done anything like running away. She should've known better. She was just a child, for Christ's sake.

"I didn't even know you had a daughter," Shirazu spontaneously said, before murmuring, "though you should've watched her."

Mutsuki nudged Shirazu nimbly, not making him react towards it. "Shirazu," he mumbled as a warning.

"What did you say?" Touka asked, being a bit annoyed once she heard his comment. Her look scared Shirazu, as he was under the assumption that she heard him.

"I mean," Shirazu stuttered, "why don't we try and call the police if you can't find her? They're experienced at these situations, so they can be able to—"

Shirazu choked before he could finish his last word. Touka, who was starting to be anxious, came up to Shirazu to grab him by the neck tightly. Dragging him to the counter, she pushed his back toward it, making his backbone make a loud cracking noise. It didn't break anything, thankfully, but Shirazu couldn't breathe from two things. That fact that he had his neck tightened by a small hand and that a woman was doing it.

Touka bared her teeth as she had her small hand on his neck. "Listen here, you orange-colored copy of Jaws! My daughter is the only reason why I haven't yet lost my sanity! AND YOUR WAY OF OFFERING TO HELP IS TO CALL THE FUCKING POLICE?!"

"Touka-chan!", along with "Touka-san!" were heard from Yoriko and Miyu, as well as the two Investigators shouting their colleague's name in unison. The four ran up to the two and attempted to break them up. Yoriko was hugging Touka from behind, hoping she would calm down, Miyu was grabbing her waist to pull her back, Mutsuki tried to find an open spot for him to go through, but couldn't, and Sasaki had his hands on both of their chests, attempting to further their distance. The other workers couldn't do anything but watch, Aomi being the only one watching with shock.

Finally, Touka's fingers released Shirazu's neck, making him gasp for air. Mutsuki stood by Shirazu to check if he was alright, and Sasaki kept staring at Touka, still resisting in her friends' grasp. After a while, she managed to calm down and breathe heavily as her arms were still held back. When she stopped breathing, she apprehended what she had done with wide eyes.

"I'm…," she stuttered to Shirazu, tears forming. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry…"

She kept repeating the words as she slid her body to the floor. Biting her lip after whispering the tenth apology, she gave a loud sob. The tears she held in raced down her face and she brought her hands to her face to cover her face. By now, she didn't care if the room watched her. She can't find her daughter and she violated an Investigator. If she was a teenager, she wouldn't have cared. But now that she's a woman, she's proving herself as a bad example of a mother. Losing her temper like that was rare for it to appear, and she let that time be the one time it had to come. She was in major trouble than she expected otherwise.

.

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 _She felt a tug on her shirt._

Touka gasped at the action, and she almost felt Kaneki's presence, but she looked up to see Sasaki on his knees, glaring down at her with a concerned expression. It worked, as his grey eyes were too delicate and familiar to turn away from. "You're worried about your daughter, aren't you?"

Touka almost felt familiar with those words, even so she felt herself nod. Sasaki moved his lip to the side as he wiped a tear from her cheek. "Even so, you're also stressing. 'Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can.'" [2]

 _That's something Kaneki would say..._

That was all Touka could think of when Sasaki attempted to calm her down. She always had a short temper, so he would naturally know how to calm her down. Her boyfriend would do all he could, action-wise and wordwise. Even if they didn't always work, she would stop for his sake. Immediately, she knew. Even if he wasn't here, _even if he was dead_ , she still had to calm herself down.

Taking a deep breath, she rubbed her eyes and looked at Sasaki before eyeing Shirazu and bowing her head. "Sorry again about that, Investigator Shirazu."

Shirazu clicked his tongue, his left hand rubbing his throat, but he waved his right hand as if he was saying "it's alright". Still, she still had guilt. Without noticing, Sasaki then helped her to her feet with a small smile. "Now, we can help find her. Investigator Mutsuki can stay here with you while me and Investigator Shirazu can go ask around."

Not arguing, Touka nodded. "Okay."

Sasaki held out a hand. "By the way, I never introduced myself. I'm Investigator Haise Sasaki. Nice to meet you."

Touka almost looked scared, but she knew that she had to calm down for not just her sake, but everyone around her. Her daughter was gone, but she did her best to have a placid mind as she took Haise's hand. "My name's Touka Kirishima. Nice to meet you."

* * *

As soon as Haise exchanged names with the waitress, was given the girl's name and shown a picture of her, he and Shirazu walked out of :re to begin their search. Only he had a determined lol on his face, despite not knowing where to look. Shirazu didn't have any ambition to share, however. All he did was glance at Haise. "Hey, Sassan, is this a good idea?"

Shirazu's question didn't jolt Haise back to reality; his mind was already clear enough for him to listen. "What do you mean?"

Shirazu put a hand on Haise's shoulder. "I mean, finding a child. Think about it: We barely know the 16th ward; we just met a woman who we still don't know anything about; and, not to be rude, but we're Investigators, not the police."

Haise shook his head in disappointment. "That's rude, Shirazu."

"But come on! Plus, I think that woman hates me!"

"She doesn't hate you and she apologized. Let's just say that that was a bad first impression."

"Yeah, yeah, I just hope her husband isn't the same."

"Yeah," Haise blankly agreed, not suspecting his voice trailing off into a breath. "Well, what's done is done. We already agreed to help Kirishima-san, so there's no going back. Now, go search over there while I search here."

With only a quick nod, Shirazu spun on his heel and ran to the right of the shop, leaving Haise assured that he's doing his part as he heard him yell the girl's name. Taking a deep breath, Haise did the same, differing as he took small steps towards the left.

After just taking a few steps, however, he halted himself, staring at nothing but the row of shops and people walking by.

Husband, huh? He thought. That's a shame.

A loud noise exploded in his left ear. Silently gasping, Haise turned his head to see an alleyway next to :re. He would have excuse it as a random interruption, but he heard whimpering beyond the darkness.

Hoping that it would be the child, he took long strides into the alleyway. It would almost be dark if it wasn't for the afternoon sun, and it was easy to see a backdoor and a dumpster. As he came closer to the dumpster, the whimpering became louder and louder.

When he looked behind the dumpster, he noticed a tiny figure curled up in a ball. Her head was tucked in her knees and her long black hair cascaded down her back and arms. Her voice was cracking as she whimpered and as she kept repeating the word, "Why?"

Taking a step forward, Haise raised his hand towards the figure with concern. "Rui-chan?"  
Rui cracked her head upwards before gasping at Haise, her dark blue eyes brimming with tears.

That was when Haise found the true definition of purity.

He'd already seen a picture of Rui in the shop but that he's seeing her in person, he knew that she wasn't fake. Her face was round, as any child should, and a shade darker than her mother's, the same shade as his skin tone. Her eyes had no glimmer, as they were in an almost-dark alley, but the grace in them were still noticed as they were wide as a coin. Everything that was a part of her was small, but it shook, along with her, at the discovery of a man who had found her at her hiding spot.

Rui pulled herself away from Haise's extended hand. "It's okay," Haise said. "I won't hurt you."

Rui didn't look assured as she continued to glance at him. "Who are you?" she asked, almost in awe, her voice no longer cracking. It was soft and soothing.

Haise smiled at her. "My name's Haise. I'm a friend."

Rui shook her head in denial. "I've never seen you before."

Haise tried to chuckle, but it was so fake that even the child looked confused. "I guess you're right. Then let's just say that I'm a friend of your mom's."

Rui looked like she wanted to say something else, but she said nothing. She didn't do anything but stare at him in wonder, her eyes no longer wide.

"Come on," he said as he bent one of his knees, his hand still extended. "I've come to take you back to your mom."

Rui's eyes widened again and she shook her head. "No!" She said, hiding her face in her knees. "I don't want to go back!"

Haise stopped smiling. "Why not?"

"I don't want to see Mommy! She was being mean!"

"I don't think she could be mean," he said, trying to forget what she did to Shirazu in the cafe.

"She was!" Her voice cracked again. "I asked her for something, but she wouldn't tell me anything. She didn't tell me a thing, so I ran away since she was mean! Stupid Mommy!"

"Rui-chan, you shouldn't say that about you mom. And I'm sure you can't be mad at her for not telling you about this 'thing.'"

He was expecting her to talk back, probably say something too advanced for her age, but no defense came out of her mouth. She raised her head and stared at Haise. It wasn't in awe, but as a sign as if she wanted his comfort. "Mister," she said, "does my mommy love me?"

Haise didn't answer her question right away, mostly because he was thinking about her mother. Hell, he had just met her ten minutes ago, let alone knowing about the next. Then again, the only thing he could use as evidence was when she attacked Shirazu in desperation for finding her daughter. Would that be enough? He wasn't looking deep enough in the first impression, but he needed something enhance his answer. "Of course, she does, Rui-chan."

"If she does, then why won't she tell me anything about my daddy?"

Haise then began to tie everything together. It wasn't very through, and he knew he shouldn't jump to conclusions, but hearing what she said made him think. A minute ago, he was wondering where her father was, but he didn't mean to realize about him that way. That made him have a fair assumption that the manager—given from her young appearance and no other man in the shop asking where his daughter was—was a single mother.

He, like he did for the previous question, didn't answer quickly. He was properly thinking of an answer, one with no proof nor reason as that was the only way to think of it quickly, in his opinion. He had heard of the situation before, but this is the first time that he was confronting it.

A twitch being released in his lips, Haise moved towards Rui and let both of his knees bend on the rocky ground. "Your mom won't tell you about your dad?"

Rui never had her eyes ripped off of Haise, even as she nodded slowly. More tears were growing when she opened them again. The corner of her eyes struggle from making them stop.

Haise sighed. "Rui-chan, hiding from you mom won't fix things."

Rui's jaw slightly dropped, her fingers on her chin. "It won't? But she won't tell me about my–"

"That doesn't even matter with the situation at all," Haise chimed in. "You can't just run away from her like that. Do you even know how much everyone is worried about you? And especially your mom. She had a terrible breakdown when she realized that you were gone. The solicitude she had was so huge that it almost scared me. You cannot be a girl who does. You can't just run away when you feel like it when you think that it will solve everything. Just what do you think would happen?"

Rui's tears started to fade away, which startled Haise. He thought that he would make her cry more from his burst, but she didn't sob at all. Instead, she looked confused. "A heart…diagram?" [3]

"Heart diagram?" Haise questioned before realizing her confusion. "Oh, no, _solicitude_. It means concern for someone important."

"That's such a big word," Rui said with a smile at the corner of her mouth.

"Yeah, he said, not questioning her wonder. "My point is, you shouldn't be upset about not having a father. You still have a mother, and the other employees seem to really care for you also. You should be happy that you have all these people who love you rather than be sad about missing one other person. And your father? I'm sure that wherever he is right now, he wouldn't want you to be sad thinking about him. He probably would've wanted you to live happy no matter what."

The opposite corner of Rui's mouth made another smile, making her have an extended small smile. Haise was almost surprised that she understood everything he had said, but he knew that there was no time to be impressed. He had to bring her back to the cafe.

"Come on," Haise said, raising himself up. He waited for Rui to do the same, but she didn't. Her gaze was still down on the ground and her smile became a frown. "Rui-chan, what's wrong?"

"Mommy must be really mad at me now," Rui said. "What if she doesn't want me anymore?"

"Are you kidding?' Haise asked, bending his knees again. "Who wouldn't want you? Every parent would want their child."

"Did your parents want you?"

Haises stopped, his face almost being pale in a second, but he didn't stop himself from shaking his head. "I don't-I don't know who my parents are."

Rui didn't ask what he meant by that, but she stared at him like she was waiting for an explanation. But Haise didn't give one. He just became a statue as he had nothing else to say. He almost felt like giving out from nothing, scaring him as he realized that that made him weak. _How pathetic_ , he thought. Who would show weakness, especially in front of a child?

Still not replying to her, Rui stood up from the ground and walked closer to Haise. She didn't give him time to say anything before she reached out to hug him.

Haise didn't say anything as Rui hugged him. He didn't even hug her back. All he did was let her hug his neck, herself being taller than him as he was on his knees, and let her body become stiff against his own. She felt so warm against him, and he felt something rise in his throat, making him be on the verge of crying.

When she released her clutch on him, he was surprised to see a huge grin on her face. "Don't cry, Mister. I'm sure that your parents would have wanted you too."

Haise wasn't sure if he was crying in front of her, but hearing Rui's sentence suddenly made him wish he was. It was silly with how she just quoted him, but it was soothing to see her have the same amount of compassion as him.

"They must also have a heart diagram for you," Rui chimed in.

Haise laughed while shaking his head. "No, _solicitude_." His lips pulled into a sly smile. "You really like that word now, huh?"

"Yeah!" Rui said with no hesitation. "I love big words!"

"Even when you're just four years old?" He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. It still ha Rui's touch. "You're very smart, Rui-chan."

She nodded, as if she was letting him know that she wanted him to go on. He leaned in closer to her. "Hey, I have an idea." She stayed quiet, her head tilting to the side. "How about whenever I see you, I'll teach you new words?"

Rui's eyes lit up with excitement, and her posture changed as she gave a wide smile. "Really?"

"Yeah," Haise said. "But in order for me to do that, I need to make sure that you're home. You see, I can't visit you if you're here, so I need to make sure that your mother knows that you're okay. Can you do that for me?"

To his shock, Rui slowly shook her head. "You don't have to try too hard, Mister." She raised her hands in the air. "I'm ready to go home now."

Grins were spread across both of their faces. Taking it as his advantage, Haise grabbed Rui by her waist and lifted themselves from the ground. Her arms wrapped around his neck again, refreshing the same spot where she hugged him before. As he started walking back to the shop, he was unable to tell if the random yet warm feeling that appeared was Rui's or his.

* * *

"Yeah… yeah…" was all Touka heard from Mutsuki as he was on the phone. Shirazu came back a minute ago, saying that he couldn't find Rui, and was nearby his colleague as they both were pricking her patience.

She was pleased with Mutsuki staying with her, giving her his assurance on finding Rui, she felt taunted by his words and presence. She knew it wasn't right to feel that way, but somehow, she allowed it. All she did was sit on her chair, all of her workers being close to her as their comfort.

Before the rest of her body could tighten with worry, Mutsuki hung up on his phone, telling something to Shirazu that was hard to be heard. She expected something bad as soon as they walked up to her, but they both had smiles on their faces.

"Good news,' Mutsuki said, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Sasaki-san just found Rui-chan and they're on their way back."

With those words, a release of relief filled the shop from the workers. It was only Touka who covered her mouth to stifle anything that could have come from her mouth. It hid her smile, bright and emotional, but her eyes shed tears of contentment that made the workers smile.

Touka jumped from her chair and kept asking questions to Mutsuki and Shirazu about what happened. "Where was she?...Is she alright?...Did she get hurt?...I hope she's okay." Shirazu didn't answer as he was still a bit afraid of her, Mutsuki didn't even have any time to answer as she spoke at the same pace of a cheetah. Nobody could even blame her for it.

And just when she asked "When will she get here?", the bell range as the front door opened. Touka looked behind Mustuki to see Haise carrying her daughter, their eyes only on her.

"Mommy!" Rui cried, squirming in Haise's arms. He set her down on the ground and let her run towards her mother, who knelt down on her knees and hugged her daughter tightly. More tears ran down her cheeks, and she smiled with relief.

"I'm sorry, Mommy," Rui finally said. "I'm in trouble again, aren't I?"

Touka almost forgot what Rui was talking about, but she couldn't care less.

"Yeah, you are," Touka laughed. "But we'll talk about that later." She looked at Rui's eyes, still bright and blue as hers. "I'm just happy you're here. Are you okay, sweetie?"

Rui nodded. "Onii-chan made sure I was."

Touka looked up to see Haise smiling down on the two, to which she smiled back. All the others could look and stare in wonder at the two, right before Rui ran from her mother's arms to the rest of the workers.

"Thank you, Investigator Sasaki," Touka said, letting herself stand up from the ground and can closer to the Investigator. "I really don't know what I can do to let you know that I am grateful."

"You don't have to, Kirishima-san," Haise replied. "I know how much you were worried about Rui-chan, so I'm glad I was able to help."

"You barely know me," she said, a side smile creeping in. "We just met minutes ago, yet you helped me."

"I don't need to know you to help you," he replied. "Besides, I have a good judgement, so I can see that you're a good woman." At that, Touka tugged on a strand of hair as she blushed pink.

"Mommy!"

Touka turned to see Rui running back to her. "I learned a new word!"

"Oh, really?" Touka said surprised, kneeling down again.

"Yeah, have you heard of solicitude?"

Touka shook her head. :No, I haven't."

"It's a big word,huh? It means 'concern for somebody.' Onii-chan taught it to me."

"Really?" She turned and looked up at Haise with a tightened jaw. "You taught her that?"

"Yeah," Haise nodded. "Though I kind of blurted it out when I was talking to her. She's really smart for her age."

"She is," she replied, unfocused on her words. She had always known that Rui was smart. She had to thank Kaneki for that.

Rui gasped, almost scaring Touka for a moment, before running up to be in front of Haise, gazing at him. "Onii-chan, can you still visit me to teach me more words?"

Touka turned herself around and looked at Haise with a new gaze, one with anticipation of what would happen. His expression looked simple when he was asked that question, so it was difficult to see if he was hesitating to answer. The question made her remind herself of Hinami when she wanted to learn new words. Was he thinking of somebody else as she was?

Finally, he kneeled down with a smile. "Sure, Rui-chan. But only if your mom if okay with it."

Rui turned back to her mom, but she didn't need time to think as she saw her daughter's puppy eyes. "Sure, you can have lessons, sweetie."

Rui's eyes widened with content and she smiled. "Yay! Thank you, Mommy!" She twirled back to Haise."Thank you, Onii-chan!"

Haise laughed as he patted Rui's head. "I was going to come back anyway." He looked back at Touka. "I really like your mom's coffee."

Touka smiled at his compliment, her cheeks flushed. She then wondered if the others in the room were watching. It was stupid of her to think that, as she heard voices on the other side of the shop, but she had it in her mind anyway.

She suddenly wanted everyone to look.

* * *

The man staring through the windows of :re did his best to not be seen. Neither by anyone inside the shop nor walking past him. He absolutely need to watch Haise Sasaki, as he was told to do, so creating suspicions in public was the last thing he wanted.

After thirty minutes of taking pictures of him, he finally decided that he has done his part. Before he could leave, however, he caught a glimpse of a green-haired Investigator conversing with the workers at the shop. Hiding his ecstasy at the sight of the Investigator, he took a quick picture of him before quickly walking away. Noticing his car, a small taxi cab, he went inside through the driver's seat and put the keys into ignition.

"Tooru…" was what he kept repeating, lustfully, as he drove away.

* * *

 _ **1\. I've been an Ellie Golding fan since she released her second album, Halcyon. The song, Atlantis, is from that album and it's my favorite song from there. To be clear, this song is a breakup song, so it doesn't match the feel of the chapter. However, these lines are from the beginning of the song, and I feel like that that would be perfect words in not just Touka's mind but Rui's as well when she meets Haise. I'm not sure if it would be good to listen to the song while reading the chapter, but still I chose the lyrics as my own opinion.**_

 _ **2\. The quote used here is something i found on the internet. I don't know who said it, but it belongs to him or her. Sasaki is one for giving support, so Of course he would quote something that involves literature.**_

 _ **3\. I'm using the words "Solicitude" and "Heart Diagram" in its Japanese translation. "Kokorozukai" is the Japanese translation for "Solicitude", and "Kokoro no zukai" means "Heart illustration or diagram" in English. I figured that Rui could've misheard that word and assumed Haise said "Heart Diagram".**_

 _ **Hi, everyone! Damn…this was absolutely the hardest chapter yet. I actually had no idea what I was thinking while I was writing this, but I hope that it's a good chapter for you all. Though because of my writer's block, it's been a long time since I've updated again, hasn't it? Sorry about that. I've been so busy with my summer hw that I didn't have time to myself. Plus, school is coming soon for me so I won't be able to have as much time as I had before, so I'll do my best in updating. Also, I have trouble with my eyesight every time I type on my phone or the computer, so I write in my journal and type as much as I can from it without having to hurt my eyes. Hopefully, I'll get new glasses soon. Thanks again for sticking with me and I'll see you again next time! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**_

 _ **Tokyo Ghoul does not belong to me and please excuse the grammatical errors listed in the story.**_


	7. Chapter 6: Warning

_Chapter 6:_ _ _Warning__ _…_

* * *

" _The wishes I made are too vicious to tell_

 _Everyone knows I am going to Hell"_

 _-"The Wolf" by Phildel_

* * *

Silence forbids you from using your tongue.

That had always been the first thing that every member of Aogiri Tree must always keep in mind.

[2] For fourteen years, all Aogiri caused was destruction, tyranny, and chaos. If there was refer any positive feedback from then, it would be the amount of connections the group had. They were always [3] near, far, wherever any being was. They would always stay silent, for it is the one thing that would bring them victory to the vendetta between ghoul's and humans.

When it came to Ayato, he had always been silent.

He looked down on the two ghouls in front of him, groaning on the floor, to which he put them there, with a disappointed expression. He wanted to scowl at them, to yell at the, kick their asses even more. Even so, he lets silence be the only thing intimidating for his comrades.

After a minute or so, Ayato sighed. "Okay, that's enough for today."

The green-haired ghoul with light skin and garnet eyes stopped groaning, but did not get up from the ground. "What? Kirishima-san, we can't stop now. I need to keep training."

"We've been training for five hours, Rishou," Ayato retorted angrily. "You're lucky that I'm giving you a break, and was that a whine? Because that is not the most necessary thing to do."

"But," Rishou said, raising his chest from the floor, his legs still straight on there, "I joined Aogiri months ago and I still can't beat you. I can only beat Miza-san and Miyabi."

"To be honest, I was going easy on you," said a blonde-haired ghoul near Rishou, who had her hands behind her head as she stared at the gothic ceiling of the room. She was no longer groaning and her gaze on the ceiling almost made people think that the scenery was the most interesting thing she had ever seen. "You looked like you really needed it. Even so, you're right. Beating two ghoul's won't get you anywhere."

"You're not remotely better, Miyabi," Ayato blurted, as well as lied.

Miyabi's Amber eyes widened better she shut them and screamed in disappointment. "Ahh, no!" she shouted sailing around her arms and legs. "Senpai, why would you even call me out like that?! I thought you were going to praise me again!"

"First of all, stop calling me Senpai," Ayato said, not raising his voice to match Miyabi's. "And second, I've been praising you for the two years that you've been here. You should've known by now that you don't need word to keep getting stronger. Has Aogiri taught you nothing, Siren?"

"It has!" Miyabi yelled. "But it still makes me happy to hear good things, Senpai!" Her hands were on her scalp as she still rambled on the floor.

Rishou quickly got himself up from the floor and angrily stomped to Ayato. "I can't believe you're following this when you got angry at my whining!"

Ayato let out a sly smile. "Six months with us won't fill you in I how things work. After all, the Siren is known for shouting whatever she wants, right, Lucent Devil?"

Rishou shifted his eyes towards Miyabi, who was still whining, before rolling his eyes back to Ayato. "Goddammit all. All this stupid special treatment."

Ayato copied the same eye movements as Rishou, but still has his smile as he looked at him. Even if he was silent, at least he's starting to open up more to his comrades. Rishou, Miyabi, and Hinami were proof of that.

Ayato heard a loud crash, making Miyabi halt in her tantrum and the three cracked their heads in surprise behind them. There was nothing but an ajar door, but after hearing a crescendoing sound of steps, the door sprung open and a man with dark hair popped into view, not being close to startling anybody, as he clutched a stack of pictures in his hand.

"I..." the man stifled. "I got them, Ayato-san."

With a sigh, Ayato stomped lightly towards the man. "Damn, Saeki. You don't even have to run to assure me of this."

Saeki didn't nod in approval as he usually did. "I can't help it," he said as he leaned closer to let Ayato see the tension in his eyes. "I saw the Ballerina on the way here."

Ayato's eyes went wide. He turned to look at his companions, feeling the same pressure as they heard the name.

The Ballerina is a Special Investigator of the CCG. She's known to be one of the best Investigator's over there, almost as close to Kishou Arima, the CCG's Shinigami. No ghoul has ever not shivered when they heard her name; that being dramatic and unusual because no one even knows her full name. The closet guess anyone could get to her name was Investigator Tomine. It's yet unsure of if that is real, fake, her first name, or her last name. While everyone did have an idea, both humans and ghoul's, the Ballerina is a much more suitable name for her, as she moves so swiftly that no one can go after her.

Ayato shifted his head back to Saeki, his hand on one of his shoulders. "Was she alone? Was she near here at all?"

Saeki spoke low and quickly. "The Ballerina was alone, and no, she wasn't close by headquarters. I just saw her by the 16th ward while I was driving back here."

His eyebrows furrowing as he frowned, Ayato let his hand drop to his side while letting the other go up to rub the middle of his eyes. "Saeki, I don't think saying you say the Investigator matter unless you saw one near here. If she does, we panic. If you just saw her in the 16th ward, then it doesn't.

"Oh," Saeki said, twisting his fingers awkwardly. "Sorry, I've been sorta cautious since the doves almost caught me." Noticing Miyabi and Rishou, he added, "Hey, Nayama, Tanaka."

"Hey, Torso," the two ghoul's said in unison.

Shrugging away Torso's comment, Ayato said, "Ballerina's the least of our problems, anyway. So did you get anything on Haise Sasaki?"

Torso didn't bother with nodding in agreement. Instead, he walked past Ayato to the nearest table and spread the photos. Everyone in the room hurried over to Torso and looked at the photographs.

"I did what you asked," Torso inquired, "and I watched Sasaki for two days. So far, I've taken pictures of him at the CCG, at his home, and around the wards.

"You didn't see him have any tracks on me right?" Ayato asked, lifting a photograph of Haise leaving a hospital with a female Investigator at his side.

"No, but then again, all of CCG realizes that it was you who killed one of their squads."

"I, for one, would be curious too after Rabbit makes his triumphant return," Miyabi, holding one of the photos, smirked at Ayato, who returned it with a nasty one.

"So we know where this Haise Sasaki lives, right?" Rishou added. "This is one of the rising Investigators, so why not just kill the bastard already and get it over with? The last thing we need is more Investigators."

"Forget it, Rishou," Ayato told him. "We can't kill an Investigator when a squad was already killed. Besides, I want to study him some more before we do anything."

His mood being boiled by Ayato's comments, Rishou growled softly with his arms crossed across his chest.

Miyabi watched his face almost become red with anger. "Don't be such a baby, Rishou."

Rishou stared back at Miyabi. "I'm sixteen, you bitch."

"Pipe down, you two," Ayato ordered. Rishou raised his hands as he took the order as an offense, but said nothing, and Miyabi kept smiling. "I need Haise so I can see what he is responsible for at the CCG. I don't care if he's almost becoming a top Investogator. All I need is information on what he is in…charge…of…"

Ayato's voice trailed off as his eyes landed on one of the photos on the edge of the table, as if it was almost about to fall. The photos all had bits of colors in each one, but the photo he paid attention to had a familiar shade of blue on it. Discarding the photo in his hand, he grabbed the photo and let himself see the blue shade coming from the hair of a young woman talking to Sasaki.

"Saeki," Ayato said, "where did you take this picture?"

Torse stiffened, but he tilted his head forward to see the picture. "Oh, at the 16th ward. Sasaki and his subordinates were over at a cafe, but they didn't seem to be doing much over there."

Without saying anything, Ayato continued his glancing at the photo. He didn't pay attention to the woman conversing with Sasaki. He already knew that the woman was his stupid older sister. He would be an idiot if he didn't realize that it was her. She did seem to look more mature and feminine the last time he saw her, but she's still the same.

What made him deep in thought (and possibly shock) was the small child that she held on her hip.

Watching his wide eyes on the picture, Torso detected curiosity in them. "That's nobody, Ayato-san," he said, assuming that it could be a threat. "I think that's the manager of the shop. And that little girl? I think that's her daughter."

That did it. Ayato wouldn't stop widening his eyes. His face had gone pale and he clenched his free hand in a fist. He was on the verge of shaking, but held himself back from doing so. _No way,_ he thought. He was right to think that. There was no way that his sister had a…

"Do you know her, Senpai?" Miyabi interjected. She nudged closer to Ayato. He may have had seen gruesome sights in the past? But he didn't seem to take the sight in the photo very well.

"No, it's just somebody that I used to know," he replied harshly. "It's no one important." Before anyone else could ask him anything else, he started taking the photos into a pile. "I'll take these now."

"Kirishima-san!" Rishou called out as Ayato walked towards the door. "What about training?"

"Didn't I tell you?" Ayato replied angrily. "You've had enough training for today."

"But, Senapi," Miyabi's voice made him look behind his shoulder. "Where are you going?"

"Nowhere important," Ayato answered. _Stop being nosy._ He didn't say that thought, instead said, "I'm just going to see Hinami."

Ayato turned to the foot and let it shut behind him.

* * *

"Hinami?" Ayato called as he entered the room. Along the way, he had to ignore the number of radios, some silent and some blasting on full volume, as it started to ruin his sense of ears.

When he reached the center of the room, he saw Hinami on her knees, listening carefully to the radios as she analyzed the sounds. Her long skirt covered her delicate legs and her figure still remained skinny as her head and back bent over, her light brown hair poured in soft strands down her cheeks.

Lifting her head up and straightening her back, Hinami looked behind herself to see Ayato. "Hey, Ayato. Sorry about that."

She pulled herself up from the ground and stepped towards a small button that took away the sounds of the radio and made the room silent.

"No, it's fine," Ayato assured her, tightening his grip on the pictures.

Hinami glanced down at what he was holding. "Are those the pictures of Haise Sasaki?"

"Hm?" Ayato cast a distracted glance at the photos. "Oh, right, sorry, they are. Saeki finally got them for me."

Hiding her lips from pulling into a playful smile after hearing Ayato's lack of attention, Hinami turned away and walked to a couch to sit. "What have you got on the Investigator, so far?"

"Well," Ayato walked to the couch to do the same motion, "I wouldn't say that it's a lot, but it's a fair amount. torso managed to figure out where he lives, his ranking and whether he's interested in me or not. Rishou suggested that we kill him, but I told him no."

Hinami huffed as she looked at the photos. "Rishou-kun is trying too hard, especially for being newbie."

"Pisses melt for how temperamental that kid is," Ayato blew a strand of hair that fell by his face.

"Hey, don't be like that," Hinami added. "Just be glad that he's actually keeping this sudden interest in Haise Sasaki a secret.

Ayato smirked as he thought about the three ghouls he had just conversed with. He tucked the stray lock that he blew behind his ear.

Nobody at Aogiri Tree even knew about his curiosity towards Haise Sasaki. The only ones who know about this are him, Torso, Hinami, Miyabi, and Rishou. It's usually unnatural for a ghoul like him to keep secrets, considering that he's an Executive of Aogiri Tree, but he couldn't help himself. Something stirred inside him when he noticed Sasaki. Though the concern was sudden, he does plan on telling Tatara. But for now, he needs to keep these investigations to himself and his comrades.

Ayato clicked his tongue before remembering the other reason why he came to her.

"Hinami," Ayato said, "do you still remember Touka?"

Hinami looked up from the pictures, her eyes having a warming glance. She couldn't stop herself from blurting out, "I would never forget Onee-chan."

"Right," Ayato almost shook at Hinami's tone. "Torso said he saw her at a coffee shop."

"Wh-What?" Hinami stammered, setting the pictures lower to clear her view of Ayato. "Onee-chan…"

"Apparently, she's the manager at this new shop," Ayato said in a monotone voice, trying to hide his disbelief of the child being carried by Touka.

"Glad to see her doing well," Hinami said, trying to hide her enthusiasm. "Though didn't Torso say he was checking the 16th ward along with others? I can't believed we never noticed her there before."

"Yeah, you're right," Ayato agreed. "But there's also something we didn't know."

Taking the photos away from Hinami, he flipped through them until he found the same picture of Touka and the child. Without any hesitation, he presented the picture to her. Scanning the picture, Hinami's eyes widened after one second.

"Is that…?" Hinami didn't finish, almost having the same shock Ayato had.

Ayato nodded. "That's Touka's kid." The room was filled with nothing but the soft buzzing of the radios.

Hinami's eyes were getting misty. "Onii-chan," she whispered.

"Eyepatch?" Ayato asked, setting the picture down. "I though that half-breed was dead."

"He is," Hinami said disappointedly. "But he was with Onee-chan before he did. That girl doesn't look older than four or five years, so…" She was unable to continue, instead saying, "I never knew that they had a daughter."

Ayato didn't know what to say. Hell, he was too busy comprehending many things in his head before he could talk to her. He was thinking of how reckless his sister was; how he only figured this out now after four years; how he wished the half-breed was alive so he could kick his ass. So many thoughts ran through his head, but neither of them could fit through to being necessary to say. It wouldn't help the situation.

"Hinami," Ayato began, not noticing Hinami staring at him. "I don't think finding out about Touka having a kid should be something to worry about."

"Ayato?" Hinami said with a shudder.

"People move one with their lives, even when the most drastic things happen. Even so, we can't stop that from happening. Touka must seem to be happy living as a human, so that's that. And if her daughter is there, then that's fine too. She's just another piece of the world."

Hinami stared at him, numb with shock. Ayato knew that she was used to him speaking coldly about topics of any kind, but what he said was new. It seemed to be sympathetic, as it was mostly apathetic. Bittersweet, as one would say. Was that expected to happen at all?

Noticing the picture still in Ayato's hand, Hinami reached over to punch it from his fingers to her own. She studied the child in the picture. She had Touka's blue eyes, even the same smile, and her black locks reminded her of her "brother". Seeing the two happy made her think of how he would react if we was a part of that life.

"I want to see them," Hinami blurted out.

Ayato turned to her with surprise. "What?"

Hinami looked back to Ayato. "We know where she's at, so why don't we visit Onee-chan?"

"I don't know," Ayato tensed. _Why are we going on a different subject now?_

"Ayato," Hinami continued, "we haven't seen Touka for Hearst not knowing whether she was alive or not. A lot has changed since then. I don't think she even knows that I joined Aogiri. I want us to make up for those years. And it's not just me; you have to go talk to her too. Besides, you never met your niece before, so this could be your chance."

Ayato wanted to deny it, it Hinami was right: the last time he had seen his suffer was when he pussed off her boyfriend, 103 bones ago. He doesn't even know if she still hates him. She probably does, but that's not what he wanted. After all, his ways of "protecting" her weren't at all merciful.

Quirking his lip, Ayato leaned his back against the couch. "Now is not the time to think that, Hinami." He trailed his eyes towards her. "But we maybe can try, one day."

Hinami didn't say anything, but she smiled with a small amount of content she could spare. Changing his eyes back to staring at the ceiling, he only had one thought on his mind.

 _When did I get so soft?_

* * *

 ** _1\. "Are these the lyrics to a song or the thoughts of a ghoul?"_**

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _That was legitimately what I asked myself when I listened to this song. But seriously, Phildel is a powerful artist and one of my favorite singers. "The Wolf" is my favorite song by her, as it has a very dark yet ardent tune. I figured it would set the tone for this chapter as it involves Ayato, Hinami, and the setting with Aogiri Tree._**

 ** _2\. Since I did change the year gap in this story, I actually have no idea if I'm right when Aogiri Tree was formed. Let's say that this is my best guess._**

 ** _3\. Okay, I swear, I had no idea I inserted the lyrics from "My Heart Will Go On" until after I edited the chapter. And I still put it in XD_**

 ** _8,185 views, 73 favorites, and 92 followers in almost three months?! WOW! That is amazing! I've never expected to get this much! Thank you all so much!_**

 ** _Whoa! This is a new record for updating! I think it's been four days! I should give myself a gold star! Lol just kidding. But still I'm glad I was able to give one more chapter before I go back to school. I mean, it's actually tomorrow and I'm freaking out over senior year. I'm just gonna do my best and work as hard as I can. Still, I won't be able to be as busy as before. Oh, I also got contact lenses and I couldn't even be more happier with them! Now I'm able to see more clearly! Anyway, it'll take a while until the next review since I need to work on my other story, but keep waiting you guys! I'd appre iate it if you wrote in the comments and more chapters will be coming your way!_**

 ** _Also, there you have it. Ayato and Hinami are now aware of Rui's existence. Though this chapter might be there for now reason, just wait a little more until I add more stuff with Touka and Haise!_**

 ** _Tokyo Ghoul does not belong to me and please excuse the grammatical errors._**


	8. Chapter 7: Closer

_Chapter 7_ _ _: Closer…__

* * *

 _"Musing through memories,_

Losing my grip in the grey.

Numbing the senses,

 _I feel you slipping away."_

– _"Still Here" by Digital Daggers_

* * *

The steps Touka took on the perfectly polished floor in the ghost white hallway were the only sounds she minded for causing an annoyance.

Touka had always hated hospitals. No matter which one she would go to, she would have the same goosebumps when walking into one. Everything would always be in the color white and it made her wonder that if she kept looking at it, would she actually have the color imprinted on her and make her see white when she's on the verge of death? That thought made her afraid of that color, as she was afraid of dying and leaving everything behind once she sees that color for the last time.

Hospitals also had a displeasing smell. Drugs and medicines could be sensed by the nose, left and right. As a ghoul, while her taste buds do detect nasty flavors in human food, medicines were another thing humans and ghouls have in common. No one would say that they took pleasure in the taste of pills and syrups.

Touka never even went to a hospital when she was pregnant with Rui. She didn't want her child to be born in a place that always stepped on her nerves. She gave birth to her daughter, her precious baby girl, at :re instead. She was glad that she did. There was nothing else on her mind that ever would give her a reason why she needed to be at a hospital.

Well, there was one reason.

After she asked for a visitor's pass and went to the elevator, she arrived on the eight floor of the building. The bouquet of flowers in her hands remained steady despite the crooked steps she took. Her anxiety for hospitals grew, but she did her best for bringing composure, as she always did for her visits.

Before she could turn to her left once she reached one of the turns in the hallway, she saw a couple walking past her, as part of the schedule. She would always see them, once in a while, always leaving one of the rooms near the one she always visits. Whenever she noticed them, she would see them in the same position: with the man hugging his wife(easily noticed by the silver bands on their left fingers) as she cried, both silently and loudly. Sometimes, she would think about going up to them, maybe become friends with them, but sadly she couldn't. She hardly had time anymore for doing regular things, what with her managing :re, going to school, and taking care of her daughter.

This was considered her only free time that brought her satisfaction.

Once she arrived at a door that displayed the green numbers J501, she stared through the room. The room was open, so she could see the foot of the bed, the sheets being elevated from the set of feet underneath the covers. She could see that the blankets were clean, and the curtains were folded against the wall. The sunlight easily went through the windows and burnished the covers.

Touka expected herself to walk into the room with the same nonchalance she always had whenever visiting, but she didn't. There was an unexpected refusal in her chest, making her want to leave the room, leave the hospital, and go back home to her daughter. She, for a moment, didn't want to see him.

But that moment dissipated. She had been holding back emotions and her hesitancy ever since she met Haise two days ago. He did promise her that he would come back to the shop to teach Rui new words but she didn't get his phone number or anything. She's not even sure if she can keep his promise and come. It's like a meeting one person but they never promise to keep talking. All those thoughts went through her head as she stood by the door, but she wanted it to be missed today. So she took a deep breath, raised her right heel over the other, and walked into the room with as much placidity she could fake.

The first thing she saw when she entered the room, as always, was the now somber yet still golden hair on the patient's head.

 _Hide…_

[2] Touka walked towards him, to the right side of his bed as she made a long detour around it. She even thought on hesitating about coming closer to him, but she mustered the courage to go closer to him and sit down by one of his chairs. Touka knows that he wouldn't be awake to se her hesitation, but she fly that he would somehow sense her worried composure.

"Hello, Hide," Touka said finally, trembling as she said his name, as she rarely said his nickname. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Silence. She had always expected silence from him.

"I apologize about that," Touka said, vowing her head in a quick manner. "But I'm here now."

The heart monitor beeped, yet it couldn't be assuring towards the lack of color in Hide's skin.

"I bet that's something you would always say," Touka joked. "Maybe when you were over at your school. Like arriving to class late. You seem like that kind of person."

His hair had reached towards his shoulders, strands of it covering his right eye. He looked dead without his cocoa eyes being blazoned. Instead, the lids were covering them.

Touka set the flowers on the counter next to her before searching through her purse. "Hey, I brought another book."

She set down her purse down beside the chair on the ground after she brought out a thick yet deplorable book. It was tan-colored and had ashes of red and green on the cover, but "Egg of The Black Goat" would clearly be seen in its natural white Kanji.

"Don't complain," Touka said, but it sounded more like a command rather than a joke. "I know you don't like books like these. I've read it so I can partially understand why, but please bear with it." She opened the book to the first page while muttering, "This is the only thing we can have that reminds us of him."

She didn't say who she was talking about. Not like she or Hide would want to know. Because they would already have one name in mind.

She began to read, stuttering already in the action as she spoke the poetic words.

[3] "'I always wondered what being a monster meant. Usually, the ones I know are in storybooks or myths that my mother used to tell me when I was young enough to know what candy was. Even so, I can't help but feel sympathy towards them. Maybe their disfigurements are unbearable characteristics, like a human being born with no arm. Maybe their sure must be coming from their thoughts, asking themselves why they are given a dreadful purpose in life, having no one to answer when they are afraid to. Maybe their cries of fear are misunderstood cries for help, having them think that people are forced to run when they are begging for assistance. Only I think they can be misinterpreted. It's all because of my mother. She's the monster that makes me understand that there are other monsters that are less scarier than her...'"

Touka kept reading to Hide, even as he resembled a corpse and she might as well be uttering the words to herself. She kept glancing at him every few sentences she would deliver. She wanted to stop, reading, but she kept repeating the words and made them create a buzzing feeling in her lips.

Her actions made herself be reminded of when she first visited Hide for the first time.

It was when it had been a few months since she gave birth to Rui when she saw his name in the newspaper. He, along with a Special Investigator, had been in a coma for many months after a certain Raid. She rushed over to the hospital (thank god that the newspaper had the name of the hospital he was in on there), and saw him lifeless on the bed.

She couldn't think of anything else when she saw him. Only that he was still there. Everything in her body shivered when she saw him, and she didn't even have the strength to mutter a word to him. All she did was smile brightly, knowing that a part of her lover still lived.

Ever since then, she never stopped visiting him.

Already feeling exhausted after reading the first chapter, Touka closed the book and glanced at her lover's best friend. She looked for at least a sign of life.

There wasn't anything. It's like he's lost.

"Rui's doing okay," Touka said, her voice loosing composure. "She's getting more smarter everyday. If only you could see her. You would see Kaneki once you see her."

That wasn't the first time she told Hise that last sentence. She liked saying it out loud, knowing that if he was awake, he might agree.

He _would_ agree.

Setting the book on the countertop, next to the flowers, Touka looked forward to look over Hide, his darkened and unnatural face being easy to notice. She could still notice sunshine being hidden.

"I…Rui also made a friend," Touka said, and she smiled. "He could be my friend too, maybe, but I'm not sure. It's a long story, but he helped me find Rui when I thought she was missing. He even said he would come visit her to teach her." Touka didn't notice that she noticed that she sighed with a notice that she sighed with a more reposing tone. "It's so silly, but he reminded me of Kaneki. It's been two days since I've met him and I'm thinking of crazy fantasies."

Touka laughed forcefully with her eyes closed. They were tight enough to force back tears.

Why would she mention Haise at a time like this?

"Oh, me, oh, my."

A voice broke Touka's duration of laughter, making her release a gasp. Looking away from Hide she peered over to the open door.

A woman stood still as she waited by the doorway. Her face becomes showered with the traits of a woman in her forties, yet she still looked beautiful as she presented a small smile. Her long, light brown hair was tied back into a tight ponytail, making her citrus eyes stand out more than her slim body. Her posture was more noticed with the help of a simple long-sleeved purple dress. The bouquet of white hydrangeas in her hands made Touka think of the woman with an interesting comparison. As she looked at her, from where she was looking, Touka couldn't help but compare her to a puzzle. She was almost complete, but the flowers she held near her stomach made it seem like she was missing a piece.

That a part of her was empty.

Hastily budging her shoulders, the woman reduced her smile and walked closer to Touka. "I've never seen you come here before."

Touka didn't force the small chuckle hidden in her throat. "I should say the same about you."

"Touché," the woman said, but her voice was discontent. Touka tightened her lips and cringed when she heard the word.

"Is something wrong?" The woman asked.

"No, it's nothing," Touka said, rubbing her cheek with one hand. "It's just that a person I knew used to randomly say something in French."

The woman laughed, her smile being brighter. "That must be an earful," she wondered aloud. She took steps closer to the opposite side of Hide's bed, placing her flowers on the other countertop near her. Taking a quick glance at the flowers, the woman grabbed a fair nearest to her and sat in it. She did her best to not bring attention to herself as she continued to stare at Hide. She didn't talk to him like Touka would do, she only glanced at him with a solemn look.

For a second, Touka expected the woman to be a ghost from how silent yet loud her existence was.

"Hey," Touka said after a while. The woman turned her head to Touka. She almost thought of the woman as someone she knew before as she glanced at her. It was the same back at :re when she first met Haise. She tried to figure out the woman but her apprehension was fogged up.

"Um," Touka stuttered. "Do you know Hide?"

The woman stood frozen, the AC in the room slightly moving strands of her hair. Touka wondered if she was hesitating, but that would mean that she didn't know him at all. Any person who knew Hide would definitely not hesitate, but somehow, this person must be.

Before Touka could ask the question again, the woman nodded stiffly. "Of course, I do."

"Oh," was all Touka could say, as the woman refused to keep up with the conversation, before she added, "What are you to him?"

"I'm his mother," the woman replied quickly, making her tone more snappier than Touka's than the way she asked the woman her previous question.

Touka was taken aback by the woman's reply. _His mother?_ She thought. It was rare for her to meet the woman, but it was even odd for her to meet her _now_. Hide had been in the hospital for four years and she had never seen this woman nor anybody else come over the room to see him, not even once. How can she suddenly see his mother visit him when she never appeared before?

[4] "Me, oh, my, you appear to be stressed," the woman chimed in without breaking her gaze from Hide.

"Uh," Touka stammered, being a bit shaken from the woman's wild guess, especially with how she wasn't even paying attention to her. "Sorry. It's just that I've never seen you before."

"I was going to ask you the same thing," the woman said softly. "But the answer is so logical that even I can take a guess at it. My theory is, we were probably busy on several days or came on the same day but at separate times. With the right calculation, I can assume that the chances of us seeing each other were three days out of 1,460 days, or even 1,300 days depending on if we were not able to visit him every day. Even if we did come to visit him on the same day, I can calculate my speed limit and conclude that I would at least come at least an hour later after you or you would come an hour before me. I have a very busy schedule, so sometimes my hours would variate, but I know that the distance I make, in steps, last at least 6,817 steps per hour." [5]

"Uhhh," Touka's said as she felt her brain lose focus. She had been interested in school subjects, but math was not her greatest asset. She tried to keep on going, even when she was already confused by the woman's reasoning. "I…see. Well, it's very nice to meet you. I'm Touka Kirishima. I'm one of your son's friends."

The woman casually turned her head to Touka, who now has a smile being painted on her face, and it made the woman offer a smile back. "Nice to meet you, Kirishima-san."

Before Touka could continue their conversation, the woman rose from her seat and gathered her stuff. "I apologize for my sudden actions, but I should be going."

 _After five minutes?_ Touka thought, not even doing her best in not wanting to say it aloud.

"But you just got here," Touka argued.

"I know," the woman said as she put her purse over her shoulder, "but I like being alone when I see him. I'll just come back tomorrow."

"Wait," Touka said, trying it to end offended by the woman's comment. By the time Touka now faced the woman's back, the woman stopped and looked back at the blue-haired ghoul. Her face had been calm the entire time she had visited Hise, so Touka felt uncomfortable when she saw irritation in the woman's person.

"Well," Touka said, almost forgetting what she wanted to express, "I'd like to know your name. I know I might not see you again, considering of how big of an analysis you made, but it wouldn't hurt to greet you by your name if I do manage to come across you." Touka laughed nervously, but the woman didn't follow her lead and laugh with her.

The woman's eyes were hard to notice as her eyelids lowered down to cover half of her orange iris'. The enterprise in the woman's eyes didn't make Touka surprised to see the woman turn away from her and walked to the door. However, she was even more surprised to see the woman stop by the doorway, recreating the same way she arrived, the difference being her back being glanced at by Touka.

The woman's head tilted slightly to the right, letting Touka notice her lips as they moved when she said her reply:

"Tomine. You can call me Tomine."

* * *

[6] Haise rapidly tapped his foot against the tiled floor as he stood outside by one of patients' room.

He was lucky enough that he managed to have the rest of the day off from work today. He knew that Mutsuki's with Suzuya's and Urie is doing who knows what (considering that he doesn't like to tell his business to anybody). He was walking down his regular route to home when he saw Shirazu and Saiko Yonebayashi, another one of his underlings, with Hanbee Abara, Suzuya's partner. Haise didn't know what went on in his head when they offered him to come along to the hospital, but it, somehow, made him agree.

Haise knew that Hanbee must be talking to the two members of his squad about the patient they were visiting. He knew that the patient that they were seeing was Special Investigator Yukinori Shinohara. What Haise didn't know was much about the mentioned Investigator. He only knew that he was Suzuya's mentor when he first joined the CCG. He knew how much Suzuya's respected him, so, of course, he would understand his feelings whenever he mentioned his mentor. It could be similar to Haise, as well. Suzuya's must have, at least, respected Haise and his relationship with his mentor. He must have.

After realizing that he had been tapping his foot the entire time he stood by the door, Haise restrained himself from continuing on. Noticing a chair near him, as well as mentally hitting himself for not realizing sooner, he walked over to it and sat down, still managing to stay quiet.

Haise didn't continue with showing signs of impatience, but already having some in his mind was enough to make him want to run away from his sitting stance to back home. After sifting through his thoughts on what to do while waiting for his underlings, he reached inside his coat, towards a small pocket, and grabbed his small notepad. As soon as he flipped through the first few pages, he stopped as soon as he saw the list of familiar words he had written down.

It had been two days since he had visited :re and met Rui and Touka. It still was a surprise to him that he had met the two, especially in such an unexpected–and shockingly baneful–way. It was pleasant to meet new people that were not from the Academy and the CCG, and he didn't mind that they were regular people living a regular life. It was nice seeing that kind of lifestyle when he's a half-ghoul, a being who can't even settle with one world. It's even more nice to let himself have Rui and Touka as a fresh start in making new friends.

* * *

 ** _Friends…I'm your friend, Haise. Another reason why you should just accept me already._**

* * *

Haise shuddered, but he shook his head and looked back on his notepad.

Since he had promised to come back to the restaurant, Haise had been making a list of words for Rui to study. He did his best on making a list that had words that would be manageable for her. While he did want to give her words like solicitude, he was worried that he might overwork her with too many advanced words. It would be best to give her words that's average yet easy for her. Even if she was smart, he's going to go easy on her.

Haise looked through the words he had written down. Some were advanced like "pragmatic", while others were simple like "respect". He did his best in choosing the right set of words for Rui, trying to keep her age in the back of his mind, but he still couldn't focus. Every time he's stuck on thinking of words, he thinks of Rui. He thinks of how smart she was. How delicate she was.

How she looked like her mother.

He admits that while he was reminiscing Rui's features, he was also reminded of the manager. Everything about her was written in his mind like a love song. From her bouncy bob to her natural jawline to her blue eyes, everything about her is perfect. So perfect that even some of her traits managed to go to Rui. He had just met the woman but he already could see all the beautiful things she must have.

 _A beautiful and kind woman._ That's what he kept thinking as he thought about how she looked.

* * *

 ** _Touka-chan?_**

* * *

Haise winced as he heard his Voice in his head.

 _No_ , he thought, _not now. Why now?_

Haise shut his eyes, but his lips, and held a hand against his head, breathing heavily as he attempted to calm down. After a few seconds of heavy breathing, he managed to calm down and not let the Voice cause him to panic. Letting his hand slowly fall down to his lap, he glanced down at his notepad.

He looked down at a new word that was added to the list that even he didn't remember adding to it.

 _Mesmeric…_

"Investigator Sasaki?"

Haise turned his head away from his notepad, the voice almost making him yell in surprise, to the last person he had expected to see.

"Kirishima-san?"

Touka, who was by one of the turning corners of the hallway, quickly walked over to Haise once he noticed her. He had only seen her once in the coffee shop, so it was almost odd to see her dressed in something different. However, in just a blazer and white dress, it did not fail in not making her less attractive in his eyes.

Once Touka was close enough to perfectly stare back at his gaze, she gave a small smile. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Same with you," Haise agreed, letting himself rise from the chair and walk closer to Touka. He almost didn't know what to first say to her. "What are you doing here?"

Touka tilted her lips to the side. "Did you not see?" Haise tilted his head until he saw her smile again and point to the visitor's pass she had on her blazer.

Haise huffed after he analyzed the sticker, staring back at Touka. "Would you look at that?"

Touka's smile turned into a smirk. "I guess I don't need to ask about what you're doing here either." And she raised her index finger towards Haise's own visitor's pass, already surprisingly crumpled as parts of his Investigator coat wrinkled along with it.

Haise chuckled. "Well, would you look at that?" He said, looking at his name tag with false wonder.

"Please don't act surprised," Touka demanded, but her tone was more playful rather than pressuring. "It makes you look silly."

Haise laughs, but he doesn't defend himself and only stared back at her with a tilted head and a side smile. He would've looked enigmatic in her eyes but he knew that, to Touka, he was absorbed in her.

"So," he said, putting his hands in his pockets, his notepad still in his hands, "how is everything with you?"

"Oh, um," Touka said as her face showed introspectiveness. "It's alright. Oh, and Rui is doing good too."

"Really?" Haise almost leaned to her with enthusiasm. "That's good. I know I haven't seen you two in a while."

"It's been two days," Touka said with a half smile.

"Time doesn't exist then," Haise said.

"So does that mean that you don't think logically?" Touka crossed her arms.

"Maybe it's better to be out of the box rather than in it."

"Huh, now you're talking like you're smart?"

"You started it."

The last comment was powerful enough to make them both chuckle. After that, they both were silent for the next minute or so, but they still retained their small yet gentle smiles. Haise looked down at Touka and he could already feel chills down his spine as soon as he saw her smile.

"It'd be nice of you to come over, Investigator," Touka said, almost a whisper, as if she didn't want to say it.

"Huh?" Haise lost his thoughts for a moment.

"I mean, for Rui. I can tell she already misses you."

"Uhh, yeah," Haise agreed, feeling embarrassment for realizing that he didn't see Rui or Touka at :re. "Sorry about that. I've been busy with my job."

"Again, it's been two days. I wouldn't worry about it." Haise noticed her wink at him. It almost gave him a heart attack. She was acting all kinder than last time, like she was hiding her kindness, and it was, at that moment, that he wished to know what else she could be hiding.

"Sassan!"

Before Haise could say anything else, Shirazu, Saiko, and Hanbee came into the view and appeared next to him. Saiko and Hanbee looked confused when they saw Touka, when only Shirazu looked briefly afraid when he saw her.

"Maman," Saiko said, "who is she?"

"Oh, this is my friend," Haise said, raising a hand towards her. "This is Touka Kirishima."

"Hello," Touka said, followed by a bow. "I'm sorry, but I feel like I should be leaving now."

"That's alright," Shirazu said, trying not to show any fear in his voice. "We were leaving anyway. Let's go, Sassan."

Shirazu was ready to turn his heel away from Touka when he noticed that Haise was still staring at her. He shook his head, as if he heard the question and simultaneously have a reply. He smiled a goofy smile before he turned back to his underlings.

"Why don't you go back home? I think I'll walk Kirishima-san home."

* * *

 ** _1\. Usually, when it comes to this song, people think that this is about lost lovers. While I agree with them, the song is much more than having a lost lover. Its about what it's like having someone close enough to be your friend be taken away from you. While this could apply to Haise being on the verge of being Touka's friend and having a fear of losing her, the song goes for Hide too. Hide is the closest thing Touka has to Kaneki, and seeing him is her way of closure towards her lover and knowing that he somewhat lives._**

 ** _2\. PLEASE DONT READ THIS UNLESS YOU HAVE READ UP TO AT LEAST CHAPTER 74 in :re_**

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 ** _I am caught up with the manga, so I read the chapter where we find out that Hide was eaten by Kaneki. I don't believe that he's dead; I refuse to believe that. It may be possible that he could be in a hospital in a coma after that experience. My theory is, that the person Touka was visiting in the hospital in the early chapters of :re was Hide. I just hope that I'm right for the real thing._**

 ** _3\. Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa.…Wow. Who knew trying to write like Sen Takatsuki would be hard. All I know is that her writing is simple yet filled with eloquence. This is my attempt at bringing in a part of her writing to life since it was never clearly quoted or explained thoroughly in the series. I did my best and I have to say, I'm pretty satisfied with the outcome. I may have overdone it, but I really liked creating a story within a story. It's like going deeper into the plot than what is necessary. That's what John Green did as he wrote the first few pages for An Imperial Affliction for The Fault in Our Stars movie (that's a fact ;D)_**

 ** _4\. Tomine's trademark, "Me, oh my," was inspired by the beginning line of Lykke Li's "Complaint Department". I love Lykke Li and I listened to her all the time in my middle school days. I know I don't have a song in mind that would fit one of the later chapters, but that line from that song kept getting stuck in my head for some odd reason. I couldn't handle myself since I figured that that would be something Tomine would say._**

 ** _5\. I am not one for calculus, statistics, geometry, pre-calculus, or all the other subjects in this world that involves math! I hate it I hate it I hate it! I'm sorry if that's too much, but I just do. That is to say that the analysis I made in this section is highly incorrect. I did my best in trying to figure out how to think like one who would solve calculations like that, but I just couldn't do it. Please excuse me if I am incorrect or if I somehow offend those who love math despite myself X,D_**

 ** _6\. I'm putting in another twist. Instead of Touka seeing Shirazu and Saiko, she also sees Haise as well. I'm doing my best in making these two have more moments together before the major climax of the story is unraveled (see what I did there ;D). So now, I'm including Haise EVERYWHERE!_**

* * *

 ** _HELLOOOO, EVERYONE! I apologize for the wait. Senior year is starting to get to my head now. All the college recommendations, all my scholarship tuitions, and having to deal with my classes as well. When is summer vacation again? jk XD Though I was having a hard time adjusting to high school. I barely have that many classes with my friends so I'm basically all alone. The only person I can talk to in my classes is my boyfriend. It's really bad that I'm very shy whenever meeting new people, but I'm trying to do my best everyday by staying positive and remembering what I have. I have a family, I have my boyfriend, and most importantly, I have you guys. Thank you for being with me even though I had just gotten started with this story months ago XP but thank you all so so so so much for being here. I love you all so much._**

 ** _Anyway, I'm very very very very VERY excited with what's in store with this story. I have been waiting for the day for introducing Tomine for a long time. She will be very important and I hope you guys will love her. Also, I feel like I was kinda weak in this chapter, considering I wasn't very good with the dialogue but I'm sure I'll improve. And also, please wait a bit more because more Touka and Haise moments will be heading your way soon. I'll do the best I can to manage my time (which means no anime in my free time and that's a shame because I just started watching One Punch Man :,( XD ) so thank you guys again for sticking with me and I'll see you in the next chapter._**

 ** _BYE BYE BOO!_**

* * *

 _ **Tokyo Ghoul does not belong to me and please excuse the grammar errors.**_

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 _ **Views: 11,813**_

 _ **XD**_


	9. Chapter 8: Traveling

_Chapter 8: Traveling…_

* * *

 _"Oh, my love_

 _I know I am a cold cold man_

 _Quite slow to pay you compliments_

 _Or public displayed affections"_

 _-"Cold Cold Man" by Saint Motel_

* * *

The walk out of the hospital was silent, mostly from Haise wondering if Shirazu and Saint were surprised by his sudden need for a schism, until they made the first few steps out of the front doors.

"This is very sudden," Touka finally said after they had heard their shoes click against the pavement in the bright sunlight.

Haise, who had his head slightly positioned down, glanced up at Touka. "What is?"

Touka raised an eyebrow. "Suddenly saying that you would take me home rather than you go home with your colleagues."

Haise gave a small smile, not offering any other action to make her assume that his smile was not a joke. "Can't a friendly Investigator offer to take his friend home?"

Touka giggled, the sound resembling two separate hums. Haise didn't know if it was for the suggestion or him calling her his friend. "I guess I can't argue with you there," she concluded.

Haise smiled, but Touka's own smile vanished as soon as they were close to turn a corner. She stopped midway, making Haise pause only after he took two steps away from her and look over his shoulder.

"Hey, aren't we going to take a taxi?" Touka asked, her index finger pointing towards one of the cars on the road. She seemed rushed as she did, as her quick movement made her bob bounce.

Haise turned to Touka. "Nah, I don't think that would be good. It's a nice day today, so maybe I could walk you home. You don't mind, do you?"

Touka lowered her finger before shaking her head. "I guess it's a habit." She took steps towards Haise until she was by his right shoulder. "I always take the taxi here and back home."

The word "taxi" would've regularly made Haise immediately think of Torso. It embarrassed him that he would've flinched at the perception of the word. However, he and his squad no longer have to deal with his business (for now) and, therefore, only nodded when he heard the word.

"I see," Haise said, his hands tucked into the pockets of his coat. "Well, it wouldn't hurt to try new things, right?"

"Mm," Touka mumbled as she started walking ahead without waiting for the half-ghoul Investigator. Haise managed, however, to catch up to her side and both continued to walk.

[2] The 13th ward always mistook people for its composed views. It may be the former ward of the infamous (and late) Jason, but it always made up for itself with its outlooks. It was a natural and sunny day, with sights of green to compliment the numerous skyscrapers. There were more people in cars on the roads to whatever destinations they wished to be rather than people on the sidewalks, leaving almost a sullen silence if it weren't for the cars' sonority.

Despite the sounds coming from the slightly busy roads, Haise was appreciative of the fact that there was barely anybody around him and Touka. Even so, he wasn't of the fact that it was too quiet.

"So," Haise started, when he doesn't even know of what to say, "who were you visiting in the hospital?"

Touka, who's head was positioned over towards the cars, turned to see Haise already eyeing her. Her eyes made him wonder if she was scared by that fact.

"Me?" Touka asked, making Haise nod. With a small quirk of her lips, Touka looked forward with no signs of side glances to him. "I was just visiting a friend."

"Really?" Haise said, a bit curious, as he followed her lead once he realized that they were turning left on the sidewalk.

Touka looked like she wanted to nod, but she raised her head a bit. It could pass for a nod, but she restrained herself. "Well, I don't know if it's a good idea to call him a friend."

Haise raised an eyebrow. "I…I don't understand."

Touka finally turned her head to Haise. The blue in her eyes were more brighter than the first time he had noticed them. "Don't worry, it's not like he's a stranger to me either." A small chuckle was heard from her and she put her hands inside her blazer. "I've talked to him before, but I'm not very close to him."

Him, Haise thought, and he surprisingly felt jealous.

"Sometimes, I wish he was awake whenever I do want to talk," Touka mentioned.

Haise slowly let that jealousy turn into guilt once he let that sentence sink in.

"Oh, um, I'm sorry about your friend," Haise apologized, letting his head bend down like a broken scarecrow. "What happened to him?"

Touka's eyes dimmed down and Haise could easily see the corruption of a somber persona. Her purse was strapped along her shoulder, and she clutched the strap with both of her hands. It was held too tightly that it's like she'll grind them into dust if she could. "I prefer not to speak about my friend and his condition, Investigator Sasaki."

That line made Sasaki realize that he's making more tension rather than cutting it. "Oh, I'm sorry, Kirishima-san," he apologizes, making himself look bemused.

Touka scrunched her nose. "It's alright, Investigator." She turned away to focus her gaze on the sidewalk, letting her bob bounce from her sudden steps. It was like a rabbit. "You're actually the first to ask."

"Hmm?" Haise mumbled. Changing his small steps to a single stride, he leaned his forward to notice Touka's face no longer being somber. There was placidity in that curved mouth of hers, and while one of her eyes were covered from her bangs, the gaze was portrayed like the ocean after a storm. He saw that look on Rui when he calmed her down on their first meeting, proving that she did receiver her mother's looks. However, the look Touka had was distinct and benevolent. It was another new facet he didn't mind discovering. It fulfilled him, as he was on the verge of learning something about her.

"Investigator Sasaki?" Touka questioned, taking on on Haise's intrusion.

One split second and Haise never realized that he had stopped in front of Touka. The other split second made him flinch away, and straighten his posture. "Oh, I'm sorry about that."

Touka blinked, making Haise scared that she would feel even more awkward than just their silence, but she forgot the peculiar reaction by giving him a grin. "What? You're not a pervert, are you?"

Embarrassment flooded Haise's cheeks and his eyes widened. "No!" Passerby stared at him by his loud remark. "No, no! I'm not! I swear I'm not!"

He grew afraid that his outburst frightened her, as did the other passerby and as he is a half-ghoul that prefers to reason and not contend, even if she was giving him a grin.

Touka waggled her eyebrow and chuckled. "I'm kidding."

Haise eased the heat in his cheeks and casually yet nervously crossed his arms. "But I promise I'm not."

"I believe you," Touka admitted. "But that last comment must have done something to you, Investigator." Her amusement was enhanced by the same grin as it flashed, like the sun, to a Haise as she started walking past him.

Haise whirled himself until he eyed Touka's shoulder without worrying about a man that bumped into his shoulder. It shook him enough to think back on why he made an awkward standstill and speed-walked near Touka's right hand, faster than a tortoise winning a race.

"I'm just surprised," Haise admitted. "Don't you have friends or anybody you can talk to about this?"

"I do have friends," Touka replied, but didn't seem honest about it. "But it's complicated. They know that I visit somebody, but they don't know his…full condition."

Haise almost replied with an "oh". Almost. Bit he knew that if he did, the conversation would stop. He didn't want it to stop; he wanted it to go on forever. He was doing so well with keeping it up, especially with a woman that's not affiliated with the CCG. And this woman. This woman was indeed, someone wouldn't mind being stuck in a conversation with.

Desperate on finding something else to bring up, Haise quickly scanned their past conversation but had no luck. It was a shame that his reluctance had begun to form a tight wall around himself that he's surprised that he's still being noticed. They still walked, only he started to have his distance, only by centimeters, stretched farther away from Touka. It was a distance, but not one that would be an opportunity to continue. It was one that created an opportunity to concern.

So, letting the wild action of guessing and curiosity get the better of him, Haise asked, "Is he your boyfriend?"

* * *

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Touka wanted so badly to punch this guy in the gut.

* * *

Haise could tell that Touka wasn't very comfortable with him yet. He had known that fact when he first appeared to her with his signature white Investigator coat. He's not very advanced in his sense of smell as a ghoul, so he doesn't know if she's human or a ghoul. Even so, it was obvious, not by her judgement but by her actions as well.

Her abrupt halt; her blue bob trying its best in hiding her face; her face gradually creating a shade darker than what he had given before; her wide eyes as she pondered on the question and whether she wanted to lie or not.

It's all written everywhere like the books Haise had in his microcosm of a library in his room.

It miffed him as he realized that that reaction was not what he wanted from his act of concern. What the hell even was that, one would pinpoint straightforwardly. She obviously declared the man she visited was her friend, right? She even said "friend" more than once, especially when it was one of many [3] stranger things to call him that when she barely knew him. It could be part of a humor, for all Haise knew, and he didn't even know if jokes were something she loved.

Haise didn't even take a breath after thinking about what he had just said. All he did was follow. Followed as he halted once Touka did. Acquired wife eyes at his question when Touka did. Followed as his messy monochrome hair covered parts of his forehead as several people walked by, pretending to be unbeknownst with his actions.

He was already subdued by his own words, letting his companion take a strange stronghold of him. He was brittle against the reactions but felt his lips move in synch with Touka's. He figured he would say an apology for his attempt at keeping a conversation, hopefully before she would say anything he didn't want to think too hard on. He knew he would follow as he opened his mouth—

"My boyfriend's dead."

—And let out an undeserving sigh of alleviation.

Everything else in the world around the two didn't halt at the spoken truth. A slight breeze continued moving strands of their hair. It was spring so the sun and sky did now show any signs of gloominess. _It was unsettling_ , Haise thought.

 _The question before was unsettling_ , Haise admitted.

 _Was I unsettling_ , Haise inquired. And he did not hesitate on this.

Not like it mattered to the world anyway. He just let the words run through his brain, and allowed life to continue.

And for the first time since he decided to walk Touka home, he didn't do anything to let their conversation continue.

* * *

Touka remembered when she first met Haise. When she first met him, she thought of Kaneki. She called herself an idiot in hopes of calming down and moving on.

From what she had said aloud, she would call herself a dumbass and it still wouldn't strike herself and what she blurted out.

Everything observed in her aspect was a sum of surprise, sadness, shock, and regret. To her, if she had a mirror, those feelings were no trouble to find. But she wonder what it looked like to Haise.

Sure, she was mad at him for even asking if the man she was visiting was her boyfriend. Hell, it was almost amusing to notice hints of jealousy in Haise's questioning. That, however, was not something that would piss her off. There's a difference with being mad and being pissed, for her. Mad would just be for a small problem and be something she could ignore most of the time. Pissed would make her do stupid things without her knowledge of it.

So then why?

Why would she be this pissed?

So pissed that she even had to mention that her lover died?

That the obvious candidate for her daughter's father was lying in the grave for four years?

Touka could have ignored his question and changed the subject easily, 1, 2, 3. She could have stayed silent or said that she didn't want to talk about it, like when Haise asked about Hide. She could have explained that she wasn't thinking clearly. She could have given any answer to hide anything about her.

But, she gave the one that said the most about her.

Touka wouldn't have blamed Haise if he continued their perturbed silence, but he was already quick in wanting to change her negativity. "I'm very sorry for making you admit that and for pushing too much." His voice was subdued, but his actions spoke louder when he tilted his head to pass for a bow. "I really am sorry."

Touka bit back a nervous reply. She was heartsick once the conversation pointed towards Kaneki, but his exhibition of Haise's regret was causing her more distress. Whatever she must have been showing must be off, as she couldn't tell, as people were glancing at her and the Investigator.

"You don't have to bow, Investigator," Touka assured, deliberately holding her hands out as a symbol for "stop", not doing any good as Haise still kept his form. She already hated all of their frozen embodiments made throughout their walk. "Please lift your head."

"I won't," Haise calmly spat. Touka's visage twisted with wild emotions as she heard his refusal. "I apologized many times this way to other people, but it was only to make them have pity on me. You're the first person to make me feel worried about what I had done. Suddenly asking about your life was too much for you, and I am ashamed to have disrespected such a beautiful and kind woman."

Whatever made Touka's feel like it has blossomed had no signs of ever fading away. It gave her another turmoil, as she never imagined her emotions flipping sides like a coin, which was the worst thing to compare for she had many overwhelming thoughts. Her hand reached over to the strand of her purse and trembled with it in her fingers. Haise had given her an indirect compliment, so random that he treated it like it was godforsaken. Her surprised yet hidden attention to the flattering was beating the overdone presentation, and it unraveled it so thoroughly that Touka didn't wish for it to be a joke.

Still seeing Haise unable to notice her change of expression, Touka sighed, bending herself forward to copy Haise's stance. "Investigator Sasaki."

It was Haise's turn to lift his head to see eye to eye with Touka. They were close enough to touch noses.

"You didn't disrespect me," Touka tried to avow. "You were curious. And there's no harm in letting curiousity exist, right?" Haise blinked, letting Touka stop the nerve that makes her laugh as she saw his expression. "Plus, curiosity leads to surprises.

"I'm one of many that doesn't mind that."

* * *

Haise thought of Rui when he apologized to Touka. He thought about what Touka had blurted out to him that made him want to apologize. It made him feel unworthy to know what had really happened to Rui's father. It was not a proper explanation about him, but Haise wished he could send it back. Giving him and Touka anxiety was bad enough; he didn't want to bring sweet Rui into mind when the situation's like this.

That's why he was glad that Touka's reassurance on his curiosity relieved him from that disquiet.

Haise cleared his throat, strangled and he hoped it didn't make Touka worry, and he straightened his back. "But I do hope I did not trouble you."

Touka chuckled as she caught glance of his shadow. "Oh, you did." Haise wanted to hold something so he could drop it with stupor. Touka embed her back into her old, simple position and smiled frankly. "But it's good enough to count for baby steps."

Haise gave her a dazed, almost beholden look. She then started walking again. "Let's go. I'm actually curious on checking what's around here with you."

Haise wanted to know if Touka had anything else on her mind. Then again, it's best not to pry when he already made a dramatic event. With the thought of taking baby steps on his agenda, he spun on his foot and followed his new friend.

The two did manage to converse about regular things throughout the remainder of the walk, and neither of them did the need to stop.

* * *

Kick. Roll. Stop. Run.

Kick. Roll. Stop. Run.

Kick. Roll. Stop. Run.

It's a repetitive cycle that Rui kept doing with her ball, but she enjoyed every bit of it.

Her mom had told her a while ago that she had to go over to do something, so she was left in the care of the employees of :re. It only lasted for a few minutes, as her uncle Renji said he and her other two uncles had to take care of some "business", so her aunts watched her while they were gone. All she did since then was help Aomi and Miyu with the shop. Not too long ago, Yoriko suggested to take her out to the park across the shop and let her play for a little bit. Even if her mom hadn't returned home yet, Rui was happy that she had another good day helping at the shop and was able to spend the rest of it at the park. She knew that her aunt Yoriko was over sitting at a bench somewhere, but Rui couldn't even see if she was nearby. All she was at was somewhere at a grassy part of the field.

When she kicked her small ball for the sixth time, Rui accidentally put too much force into her foot and let it fly away to another nearby bench. Before letting out a quick gasp, she ran to the bench and hoped that her aunt wouldn't worry. By the time she grabbed her toy, Rui looked up and instantly, she looked surprised when she saw a bright flash of [3] purple.

Rui almost thought it would be her mom, but after a double-take, she realized that the blue hair belonged to a tall man. He was seated near the wooden bench, as he was in a wheelchair, and she couldn't tell if he was asleep or awake as his head bobbed down like a yoyo she used to own but had trouble spinning it up. Even if she didn't know, his body was so limp that he could fall over and become part of the earth. She always believed that everything stayed, so Rui got scared for the man.

Walking closer to the limp man after she dropped her ball, Rui got to notice his hands on his armchairs, pale as a cloud. She almost thought it would be sparkling as the sun reflected off of it, and it made her love for glitter jump in her veins. His skin, however, contrasted from his dark clothes, wrinkled and not offering any chance of changing into something enlightening. It almost made her angry.

Rui walked towards one of the man's legs, curious on what would've happened if he noticed her. Raising her hand towards the leg, she poked it with the tip of her fingernail. There was no reaction from the man. But Rui refused to let her curiosity slide. She pushed again, but used the whole of her forefinger and kept it on the leg longer than the first try.

The man mistook her touch for a part of the flames of Hell as cracked his head up faster than a lighting strike. He fixed his posture, sending him into a straight stick, but the speed almost made him fall backwards. His wheelchair maintained its natural arrangement, but still made the man panic.

"Kaneki-kun!" He yelled with a quick breath. His head was glancing up at the sky and his heavy breathing could be noticed in his tight neck.

Rui didn't scream or run away. She did jump back, but she managed to go back to her original position with a concerned reaction and her hands behind her back. "Excuse me?"

The man leaned his head down to look down at Rui. She didn't know certain surroundings yet, but she almost thought that he didn't look too pleased to see her.

"Oh," he said dryly. "It's just a girl." He slumped in his chair and his back wilted.

Remembering on how her mom would react when she would be given that kind of an expression, Rui composed herself and took a small step closer. "Are you okay?"

The man scoffed sadly, drooping his eyes at Rui. "No, I'm not. But it doesn't matter, little girl."

Rui pouted and she now felt insulted. "My name is not 'little girl', Mister!"

The man didn't feel intimidated by her comment, but he did widen his eyes a bit, surprised by her tone. "I'm sorry," he apologized, bobbing his head when there's nothing left to bob except his blue locks. His voice still sounded raspy even when there was a force. "What's your name, then?"

Happy with the man's slight change of attitude, Rui smiled with a hearty tilt of her head. "I'm Rui."

"Rui?" The man repeated, focused yet still inert. "That's your name?"

Mistaking his confused tone for an appreciative tone, Rui chuckled and twirled around in her dress. "It's a nice name, isn't it? My mommy gave it to me!"

Now the man didn't say anything, letting his blinking offer a sign to her that he was still paying attention to the black-haired child. It was as if her quick change of tone had finally calmed him down and retain himself. Rui didn't think about her posture, only thinking of her contentment that she could at least help a person.

"Okay," Rui continued. "Now, answer my question: What's your name, Mister?"

The man replied, very quietly, only his raspiness highlighting enough range. "Shuu Tsukiyama."

It was Rui's turn to create a lost expression. "Sukia–?"

Tsukiyama shook his head. "Tsu-ki-ya-ma," he says with a necessary pause in each syllable. "That's my name."

"Tsukiyama…" Rui trailed, her eyes softening when she thought on the name. "Tsuki…Moon…" She then gasped, still not making Tsukiyama jump or move. "Moon Man! I'll call you Moon Man!"

Tsukiyama transitioned his expression from dead to confused to a perfect chance of being done with everything. "Moon Man?" He questioned, his words sounding more like a snap than like a bumpy road with his raspy voice. That nickname almost sounded similar to another one a friend gave him long ago.

"Yeah!" Rui said, a smile being written like it was from the stars, being proud of what she had thought of. "Your name has 'moon' in it, so you'll be called Moon Man!"

Rui was expecting a laugh from him, a comment of praise, even a pat on the head even if she had just met him. Sadly, the man maintained his ground, still being bonelessly slumped in his wheelchair. She also noted sharply that this was the first person she failed to make someone laugh. She wasn't old enough to know that if adults don't always smile in front of children, then they are truly broken.

She wanted to ask again if there was something wrong with him. She wanted to see if there anything she could do to help him. She's not a doctor, but she could figure out ways to cheer people up. One glance and she's already overthinking things for the right reason. That ambition was held thus, still trying too hard on a solution and wanting to break the sudden silence.

"Hey!" A voice exploded in Rui's ear. She turned her head towards a walking being with short violet hair with flowing bangs beside his cheek. "What are you doing?"

"Um," Rui hesitated, now scared by the other man's approach. "I was checking if Moon Man was okay."

"Moon Man?" The man said confused, but he shook it off before he became fixated on Tsukiyama. "Master Shuu, are you alright?"

"Take me home, Kanae," Tsukiyama whispered. "I told you I didn't want to go outside."

"Rui-chan!"

Another voice was included into the group, and Rui turned around to see her aunt Yoriko running towards her.

"Rui-chan, don't run off like that," Yoriko demanded softly when she knelt in front of Rui. "I got worried about you."

"I'm sorry, Auntie 'Riko," Rui said with apologetic eyes, already ready to grab Yoriko's forgiveness.

Kanae stood watching them, growing rather impatient. "Didn't your kid hear about not talking to strangers?" He said coldly.

Yoriko stood up and felt annoyed by his tone, debating on whether to correct him about Rui not being her kid or if she could push the wheelchair down the hill. The mentioning of talking to strangers won her attention. Before she could ponder on what she could say to him about his statement, Kanae rushed behind the wheelchair and started pushing Tsukiyama away, hoping he wouldn't get anymore mad inside his head.

"Take better care of her," Kanae called out to Yoriko as he and Tsukiyama, who was back to his flabby manner, walked away from the bench.

Yoriko took a long, long deep breath through her nose before she looked down at Rui. "You were talking to that man?"

Rui could sense that she was in trouble again, but strangely, she felt the need to not just defend herself, but give a proper reason. "The man on the wheelchair looked sick. I was trying to make him feel better."

Yoriko wanted to ask for any specifics on what her best friend's daughter had done, but her atmosphere grew heavy from her new repose. "You still shouldn't talk to strangers, Rui-chan. You don't know if they could do something."

Rui looked down at the aligned grass, like she was waiting patiently from something else to hear. Like a small punishment. Even if that was what she thought, she did not show any signs of fear. Yoriko didn't offer anything of what Rui expected, but instead offered an unruffled warning. "We don't have to tell your mom about this. It'll be just between us, okay?"

Rui looked up at her aunt with surprise from Yoriko's admission. Yoriko grabbed Rui's hand and smiled. "Come on, we should get you home."

Rui didn't protest, the least she could do after she had done her actions, and walked alongside Yoriko, right hand holding onto Rui's hand and the left holding onto her ball, as they walked back to the cafe. Rui's hand didn't tighten in Yoriko's and she tilted her head to the side to see Kanae and Tsukiyama growing smaller and smaller from her perspective. Almost as small as the blueberry muffins Yoriko makes for :re.

Already a certain distance, and Rui already missed her Moon Man. He was a stranger, she knew that, but there was no delight in her going back home with him hurting. She wanted to swivel away from her aunt and wave at him. To yell, "See you soon!" or anything else pleasant. To see if he could reply back with a yell of his own. But the only thing she could do at his disappearing figure was blink.

She still hoped to see him soon.

* * *

 _ **1\. At first, I wanted to use another song, but I decided to use that one for the next chapter. For this one, I actually found it on the fly. I've known Saint Motel since I've listened to "Puzzle Pieces", and they are amazing people. Anyway, I decided to use these lyrics to describe Haise's attempt in getting to know Touka better. He doesn't realize he's making their meeting awkward, making him feel embarrassed that he couldn't have done a simple task, giving a comment about her, until towards the end.**_

 _ **2\. I really couldn't figure out where the hospital Touka visited was at, so I decided to put it at the 13th ward, since she shouldn't have gone far from her cafe. Again, the 13th ward didn't get much explanation or descriptions on itself, so I did my best on creating an imagery for the ward.**_

 _ **3\. You see what I did there? Stranger Things? *nervous yet proud chuckling***_

 _ **4\. Another run through with wondering if another character's hair is blue or purple. I'm just going to say that Touka's is blue and Tsukiyama's is purple. Everybody got that? Good!**_

* * *

 _ ***raises both hands in the air* Go on. Say what you will about me for not posting anything after all this time. I can take it. *jk***_

 _ **But seriously, it has been almost five months since I'd posted anything. Same goes for my other stories too. I never realized how difficult senior year is. I mean, I'm trying, but it really is difficult. Also, senior year and writer's block don't make a good mix. But I know I'm not giving up, and I'm not giving up here. Things are calming down about now, so I should post another chapter soon. But fair warning, guys. I also have to update my other story, and plus my church is doing a conformation retreat next month so I'm going to be gone for a while so I hope to post something before then.**_

 _ **Also, please forgive the sorta lazy writing. It's been a while since I've gone through this, so I really need to make this a habit. I guess one of you guys noticed in the comments, saying I messed up in a certain scene. I apologize for that and I promise that I'll edit the chapters as soon as I am close to the end of the story. Until then, please bear with my errors. Again, I'm sorta busy so I mess up a bit when I write and correcting. But I do learn!**_

 _ **I appreciate it if you comment in the comment section, if you like this story and until the next chapter, BYE BYE!**_

 _ **Happy belated Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and birthday to Sui Ishida (and sadly the presidential election).**_

* * *

 _ **Views: 20, 155**_

 _ **XD**_


	10. Chapter 9: Afraid

_Chapter 9: Afraid…_

* * *

 _"Cause I don't stand a chance in these four walls,_

 _And he don't recognize me anymore,_

 _Burned out flames should never ignite,_

 _But I thought you might,"_

 _-"Home" by Daughter_

* * *

A month had passed ever since Touka and Rui had become familiar with Haise. Throughout that time, they had welcomed him easily.

It was easy for Touka to say and see how well Haise was getting along with her daughter. Everyday, Rui would always run to Haise, calling out "Onii-chan", and give him a tight hug. Touka would then see the two have a lesson in one of the seats in the shop. No matter what time of the day it was, she would always see the Investigator talk to her child about as many beautiful words that he could get his hands on like they were fireflies.

From her perspective, Touka could almost see how much excitement Rui could get whenever learning new words. Hell, she got confused by that one day when Rui asked if she could try and "engender" coffee again. Even if Rui offered some stutters with her question, Touka could see how hard she was trying. It was almost scary, but it made her proud. There was a relieving atmosphere at :re whenever Rui's teacher came to visit.

However, even when she knew that Haise came over for his lessons with Rui, Touka can't help but think whether if that was his _only_ reason. That was considering the fact that he would let Rui work on her own for a while so that he would talk to Touka, him coming over to her and drinking her coffee. He even came when he didn't offer to give another lesson to Rui. To put it bluntly, the other reason he came to :re was because of Touka.

Touka would be an idiot if she didn't know about Haise's "secret" intentions. About those side glances he would take from across the shop. Him always taking a five minute break so that he would come up and talk to her. Those sly actions could be seen by a blind man if he could.

Touka had expected this to happen. Over the past four years, she had been hit on and given many compliments for her looks from her customers. The closet some of them could get to her was offering to take her out for dinner. Luckily, she would always call for her daughter and they would make an excuse of any kind so that they could leave. She would laugh at how uncommitted those men were, but at the same time she would be grateful for them. She didn't want to be with anybody, at the time.

Even so, while Haise may be another one of those men, Touka allowed it. Not just because he is her daughter's teacher, but of his company. He's not like the other men and it was nice for her to be able to have somebody else to talk to rather than her friends at :re. However, she hadn't forgotten that he was a Ghoul Investigatot. She knew of what position she was in and getting too close to one was suicide. It wouldn't be hard for her to take certain measures if she was figured out.

Question is, would it be hard for Rui?

"Touka-chan?"

[2] Touka blinked rapidly before she looked up at Yoriko. "I'm sorry?" Touka said, her confusion able to help whatever she might have to hear.

Yoriko glanced down below Touka's regular gaze, before pointing a finger. "Don't you think you're going a bit too rough on Rui-chan?"

Touka raised her eyebrows, that being the only thing to hint at her confusion before looking down. Her eyes slightly widened once she saw the back of her daughter's head. She couldn't see her face, but considering that she had her daughter's hair in her hands, Touka had a slight guess on what she would express after pulling her hair.

"Oh, sorry, Rui!" Touka exclaimed, lessening her grip. She heard a loud yet brief whimper from Rui once she discovered and continued to start over her daughter's braid. "Are you okay?"

Rui shook her head. "I'm okay, Mommy." Touka smiled marginally at her response.

"You should be asking yourself that, Touka-san," Miyu said. Touka looked down to Miyu from her bed. Miyu was dressed in tank top and sweats, sitting on the floor with a book in her hand. Touka didn't even care about that gesture showing as if she was smarter than her.

"What are you talking about?" Touka tried to deny, managing to continue Rui's braid without looking at it. Though it somewhat stopped as she could t halt herself from feeling her soft strands.

"You look so focused today," Aomi added. She was lying on another part of the carpet floor while reading a magazine. One of her legs was resting on her knee, her Achilles heel almost being at risk, and her hair sprawled across the carpet. Only her reading glasses got in the way of making her face more apparent and appealing.

"Is that so wrong?" Touka asked, moving her knees with insufficient anxiety, but not enough to hear the squeaks of the bed.

"I'm not saying it is," Aomi said, turning her body around until her breasts were pressed against the floor. Her legs still remained in the air and she dropped her magazine. "I'm just saying that _now_ had to be the time for that face."

Touka raised a hand on her cheek, as if her expression was serious. Of course, it was all an artificial act on the outside. On the inside, though, she told herself that Aomi was right. Right now was a time to rest and take things easy. At least, that's what a slumber party was to Touka.

"Aomi-chan's right, Touka-chan," Yoriko agreed, her hand held midway in the air, showing off her newly painted nails of a light green shade. "I've seen that face too many times before back in high school."

Touka rolled her eyes, transitioning back to her focus on Rui's braid. "I swear I'm fine, guys. Everything is alright." Once she said that, the hair tie around her wrist was transferred to the end of Rui's braid. "There you go, sweetie."

Rui shuffled herself so that she could face Touka, and Touka could see a goofy smile sprawled over Rui's face. [3] Rui always loved having her hair done in a braid before going to bed, specifically if it was done by her mother.

"Thank you, Mommy," Rui said before she placed a small yet loving kiss on Touka's cheek. The way her lips felt, soft as her hair, made Touka chuckle.

"You're welcome, Rui," Touka said. "Now go on and get ready for bed. I'll come to tuck you in in a little bit."

Rui nodded and hurriedly crawled off of the bed and out of the room in the regular sprint of a child. Touka's gaze was still at the open door, as if she was savor I got the new memory of her daughter.

Miyu closed her book and finally looked at Touka. "The kiddo's growing up fast, isn't she?"

Touka nodded, a smile tugging on her lips. "Yeah, she is."

Even she didn't want to believe it, but she is.

Miyu gave her an imploring yet curious look. "I wonder what Sasaki-san would say about her."

"I'm not one to guess," Touka quickly said, closing her eyes and a hand held against her cheek. "But I think he doesn't notice. I bet he thinks she's practically a grown up given from their lessons."

Miyu quickly stood up on her feet. "Aha!" She shouted, making the girls look at her. "So that's what you've been thinking about!"

"Ehh?!" Touka mustered aloud, her mouth and eyes wide.

"Don't act all dumb," Miyu said, pointing a finger to her. "You didn't hesitate on bringing in Sasaki-san into the conversation. That's enough to prove my point."

Touka didn't even notice her actions pertaining with Haise, but she blushed in embarrassment once she was given that realization.

"Touka-chan, is that true?" Yoriko wondered. "Have you been thinking about Investigator Sasaki?"

Touka turned to Yoriko, her best friend having her hands clapped together, not caring that she already ruined a nail.

"I don't blame you if you were, Boss," Aomi added as she positioned herself at a cross-legged position, her attitude changing into a more teasing and excited one. "In fact, you've been doing it this past month, haven't you?"

Touka slightly wished that they never noticed that.

Yoriko excitement finally kicked in. "Oh, my god, Touka-chan! This is huge!" She stood up from the ground and approached Touka with a smile and her hands on her shoulders. "Who knew that you would have your eyes on somebody? And with a Ghoul Investigator too!"

Touka looked at Yoriko with wide eyes, her blush growing by the second, enough to let everyone feel the heat. "Keep your voice down," she exclaimed. She knew that the men were below in the shop doing who knows what, so she didn't want any disruptions.

Touka looked back to Miyu and Aomi, letting the transition resemble the old video game pong. Their faces showed concern, but their eyes showed disbelief. She didn't blame them. How could a ghoul be thinking of a Ghoul Investigator?

Touka moved her eyes forward, making them look down rather than at Yoriko. "It's not like that at all," she mumbled. She decided to be honest. "More like I am curious about him."

"Oh, I'll take that as a win!" Aomi exclaimed, raising her fists in the air with victory, already exaggerating her poker face.

Yoriko smiled proudly. "Touka-chan, I'm so happy for you!"

Miyu put a hand against her cheek. "No wonder you've been acting up this past month."

Touka clicked her tongue. "Since when had my mood been so reliant on a man?"

"Never, and that I know," Miyu gave a mischievous smirk. "I offered you a few dates with some men I found in the past, and you turned them down flat."

Touka turned to Miyu, letting Yoriko let go of her shoulders. "It wasn't a loss, Miyu," she argued. "You managed to go out with those boys when I denied them."

Miyu pursed her lips in disgust. "Yeah, but then again I would..."

"You would what?" Touka asked, raising an eyebrow.

Yoriko finished for her. "Be with a man who doesn't act like a child." The chuckle she gave was contagious and it made Touka and Aomi repeat after her.

Miyu wasn't amused. "Yeah, well, I'll get back at getting someone different, somehow," Miyu hoped, catching Yoriko's chuckle.

All of the girls were chuckling, and it made Touka relieved. Relieved to be a part of these moments, and relieved to have the three girls be a part of her life. Joking around with them made her forget about Haise for a brief moment.

Almost.

But.

Never.

"But seriously, Touka," Aomi intervened, letting Touka snap her head. "Maybe this might be a sign. One guy notices you and stars to become a well-known customer. That rarely ever happens. Maybe this could be your chance to be able to search through the crowds."

Touka could see where Aomi was going at, both with Kaneki and the idea of being with a Ghoul Investigator, but with some restraint, denied it. "Are you sure? Because I don't want to make any mistakes like you're doing with Kaku-san."

Aomi rolled her eyes and groaned. "Don't speak about him. I was finally able to dump the dumbass."

"Aomi, everyone knew that your ex-boyfriend was a dumbass," Touka admitted, not even offering a sign of concern or wonder about the red-haired's breakup.

The last comment made Aomi take off her reading glasses. "Yeah, how come you guys never told me that earlier?"

"We did!" Touka, Yoriko, and Miyu replied loudly, making Aomi stand up straight. She puffed her cheeks and blew a huge amount of hair towards Yoriko, despite the distance, and she giggled as she attempted to block.

Touka grinned back, hoping that it could last, but she somehow transformed it back into a grimace. The topic of romance was starting to get to her again.

Yoriko noticed her best friend's behavior and walked over to sit in front of her. "You really don't want to go back at it, do you, Touka-chan?" Miyu and Aomi put their gaze towards the two, no longer laughing at their failed relationships. It almost made them embarrassed that it brought back another failed relationship for their friend in her past.

Touka took a deep breath, feeling a deep shiver. "I don't know if I can." She quoted her lips to the side, not making any eye contact with anybody. "A lot has happened since... my last relationship. I don't want to risk having to go through all of that again." She lowered her eyelids, picturing Kaneki in her mind. "I can't just forget about him, you know?"

Yoriko didn't say anything and that was the best response she could give. Aomi held a strong grip on her legs and Miyu coped her crossed-leg position, her serious face overcoming her display her concern. Even so, everyone knew that she was worried. Any person would have to be.

Eventually, Touka saw Aomi crawl closed to her and Yoriko, making her open her eyes back to a more calmer state. "Touka," Aomi began, her hands going on top of her fingers. It reminded her of the day of Rui's breakdown. "Remember when Rui was just a year old?"

"Huh?" Touka questioned, raising her head.

Aomi continued, having a small smile when she wasn't making any eye contact. "Your brother suggest that you should go to school, try and sign up for college. You said that there was no need for that. You had Rui, so there was nothing else to go for." She gave a small chuckle. "I'll never forget how clingy you were to her."

Touka blinked rapidly as she realized what Aomi was telling her. The exposition almost made Touka want to laugh. She was very clingy to Rui, not letting her out of her sight for more than a minute. She even had a hard time letting the others look after her.

Aomi leaned closer on the bed, her arms crossed on it with her hands not breaking. "We all pressured you and bothered you until you agreed to go to school. We told you that we would take care of Rui, but you were scared. We practically dragged you out of the cafe on your first day. But after that, you managed to act more calmer and collected.

Touka didn't move. She only stared at Aomi, letting her hands be the only thing of hers to assure her that she's still there. Her eyes were the same, but they appeared to be more misty than usual.

"I have to admit I was a bit upset, that day," Aomi muttered, her eyes finally looking back at Touka, wide and focused. "I used to think that you didn't trust us enough to let us watch your daughter." Her voice cracked, but she moved her lips around to maintain herself. "I'm sure I speak for everyone else here too about that. However, I realized that you were only acting that way, with the same feelings you're feeling now."

Touka didn't notice Yoriko holding onto her hands as well.

Touka didn't notice that Miyu crawled closer to the main circle, her book discarded at her old spot.

All Touka noticed was Aomi Kushimura, a former S+ rated Ghoul, helping her recall a moment in her past that she never realized would bounce back to her.

"I-," Aomi looked at Yoriko and Miyu, "- _we_ really appreciate your efforts, Touka. You're a strong woman, so I can understand your feelings. But we want you to be happy. I'm not saying that you should go after Sasaki-san. It's fine if you don't. I'm saying that you should have more time and patience to accept what happened." Aomi tightened her grip and her smile looked like it wanted to break. She didn't let it. "You can manage that, right?"

Touka had expected her friends to say something to make her feel better, but did not expect Aomi to say, out of all the things that must be on her mind, that. It wasn't the first time she brought Kaneki into the conversation. However, she never heard much from the other, Yoriko and Yomo mostly, but she was still getting there. The proof was in Aomi. The way she explained how not just how Touka's feelings were working, but her own was impacting. It made Touka glad every time, as she is learning something new.

Touka returned Aomi's grip and gave her a small smile. "Yeah," she said, nodding to her friends before looking back at Yoriko and Miyu. "Thanks." The girls all smiled towards the blue-haired ghoul and Touka still felt her tongue start to get tingly from the lack of words she was giving.

Touka then gets off of her bed. "I'll be right back," Touka said. "I need to go tuck in Rui already. She must be waiting for me."

Body said anything else, only obliging to Touka's future action. Giving another small smile, Touka left the room and walked towards Rui's room.

[4] "—what is a hobbit? I suppose hobbits need some description nowadays, since they have become rare and shy of the Big People—"

Touka felt the need to halt in surprise when she heard a voice coming from Rui's room. However she knew that there wouldn't be any strangers in this place. She walked closer to the room and glanced past the open door. Right there, Rui was tucked underneath her blankets and snuggled close, already drowsy and calm as her eyes was almost closing, to Kaito, who was reading "The Hobbit". He was calm too, but he had more focus. Focus on holding onto Rui rather than what he was reading.

Touka held her grin and headed closer into the room. "I thought it was my turn to tuck in Rui," she said playfully.

Kaito jolted, not enough to make Rui react. He then grinned distinctively once he saw Touka. "Sorry about that," he then said, playing with a strand of Rui's hair. Good proof to show that Touka was not good at making tight braids. "I was going to get something, but I found Rui waiting for you, so-," he let his hand with the copy of the book circle in front of him, "-here I am."

"Here you are," Touka repeated, walking closer to Rui's bed. "But you're reading 'The Hobbit'?"

Kaito didn't look at the book, but he showed surprise as if he didn't know. "Well, I've been waiting to read her the book for awhile," he explained, his fingers tightening as he held the spine of the book. "Plus, she's been learning new words, so I thought she would understand a bit more."

"You're reading _to_ her," Touka said, setting herself on the bed. "It's not like she could read that kind of level on her own." _Even Rui has limits on what she reads_ , Touka added in her head.

"She could," Kaito considered. He moved his hand from Rui's hair to her bookshelf. "Exhibit A."

Touka chuckled, her hand feeling the covers, trying to maintain her focus on Kaito. She was reminded of Haise again once he mentioned "words", and she tried to distract herself. Time like that makes her think in what she was suppose to focus on before.

Kaito let out a yawn before moving away from the hazy Rui. "Well, I better go," he said, fixing his blonde hair more forward so that it would cover his cheeks. "I bet you would want to look over Rui for a bit."

Touka almost didn't comprehend the last sentence, but Kaito left the room before she could say anything else. The way his hands were in his pockets made it seem that he didn't want any intrusion. Touka didn't do anything, only noticing his figure disappear.

As soon as he was gone, Touka looked back at Rui. She was already passed out, holding onto a small bunny Touka had gotten her for her birthday, and the book was laid out near her. Grabbing the book, Touka placed it on the countertop, not bothering to turn off the light and leave the room, and sat down again near Rui. Even as she slept, Rui was able to look so peaceful. She was not well aware of her dangerous environment as a ghoul, so she was living on a carefree plane. Touka can't help but feel a bit envious. She didn't even know when was the last time she felt carefree, enough to make her forget about her enemies.

Rui fidgeted in her blankets, making Touka's heart sway with alarm as she wondered if she might wake up. "Onii-chan," Touka heard her mumble. This time, her heart swayed again with shock, as if her mind was no longer a safe place to keep secrets. "I want to learn more words please."

Touka expected the words to warm her, but they instead brought a shiver. Another reminder of Haise jumped out like a bunny again. It suddenly felt annoying. It made her think about what her friends told her. About Haise. About her growing relationship with him. _About Kaneki._

 _About everything she went through._

 _Me and Haise_ , she thought, and she wanted to scoff, but held the strength to as Rui was still asleep. Sure, she remembered their rendezvous but it wasn't enough to cause anything, right?

She tried not to answer that.

Touka didn't remember shutting her eyes, letting the darkness try and make her forget Haise for a moment, but she opened them quickly to look at Rui. Her throats tightened, as more reminders were overwhelming her mind.

All of them were pointing towards Kaneki.

It was stupid, but Touka remember all of his vivid actions, responsible for creating her happiest memories. She had a doubt that there would be anybody else that would make her feel that way again. She knew him so well, and that helped make her love true. At least, while it lasted. Even if that time broke, Touka knew that there was no point in trying anything like that again. She had Rui and her friends. She shouldn't have another addition. And with a Ghoul Investigator? She knew that that was going too far.

As Touka played with her daughter's hair, not enough to make her wake up and notice her presence, she thought about what Aomi said. She wasn't sure if she did accept what had happened, but she was sure that she didn't want to be that close to anybody for now like she was with Kaneki.

Not ever.

* * *

Kaito never asked for his small smile to get through Yomo as a lie when he went back to the shop, but it did get through Tomoya.

"Yo, Kate," Tomoya exclaimed, almost knocking his coffee over as he raised himself from his chair. "How were things up there?"

Kaito tried not to cringe at his nickname, and got his hands out of his pockets. "It was alright," he said with a blink. "I read a bit to Rui, but I also talked to Touka."

Tomoya gave a sly grin, with Yomo still sitting on one of the chairs with a cocked head. "Oh, and did anything come up?" He tone was even devious as a combo with his words.

Kaito flustered, but he rolled his eyes. "Nothing major." He walked over to the counter, not looking back at the others. "I forgot to tell Touka again. So nothing's changed."

Tomoya's excitement depressed into a small frown. His grey eyes were paler than usual, and it helped him look as if he was frozen when he sat back down. Yomo finally looked back at Kaito, his dark green eyes almost having a grotesque look as he looked down while making himself a cup coffee. That stance was nothing new, as was the aura.

"Kaito," Yomo said, his voice soft yet like the voice of a king. "You didn't just _forget_ to ask her again, did you?"

Kaito huffed, as a way to stop himself for a moment. His cheeks flushed into a red, but he didn't let the heat in them stop him as he resumed brewing his coffee. Tomoya sighed before he turned back to Yomo. He grabbed his coffee cup but he didn't even bring himself to sip.

"This crush will be the end of you, Kate," Tomoya commented, his eyes shut as if it was just a thought.

Kaito silently yet regretfully agreed.

* * *

 _ **1\. I found this song a while ago when I was watching a My Little Monster AMV, and I can't get over how catchy it is. To be honest, at first, I paid attention to the music rather than the lyrics XP When I actually took the time to look through the lyrics, I realized that it relates to reuniting with a lost lover. It's kinda ironic, because Touka doesn't even realize that she already reunited with Kaneki. ;D**_

 _ **2\. It's funny, because I kinda based off this sleepover from the salon scene from How To Get Away With Murder.**_

 _ **3\. Does anyone else do that? Fix their hair in a braid before they go to bed? Yes? No? Well, I do.**_

 _ **4\. I didn't grow up with Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit being my bedtime stories, and that is one of my regrets. I just read The Hobbit last year and I loved it, so what more could I want to mention it?**_

* * *

 _ **I tried. I really tried, you guys. I really tried on updating as fast as I could, but a lot happened. Hell, I'm actually posting this on the day of my AP exam and it was hell. I actually got accepted to my dream school and I'll be heading over there this fall! (Now there's not as much problems that I should worry about now) Things should be calming down now, so I believe that I'll be able to write more. So wait a little more until then!**_

 _ **Oh, and also, I have other news: I decided to make a playlist for Re:pray! I know that I have a lot of songs for each of the later chapters for the story, and I don't want to keep you guys waiting for each one. Music is one of my passions and guilty pleasures, so I want to share it with all of you. If you guys want to listen and if you have a Spotify account, whether it be Premium or not, you can go on there to find the soundtrack. Just search "Re:pray Playlist" and you'll find it there. Trust me, it's the only option there ;D Some of the songs I included here for the chapters will also be on there, and I may or may not include songs from the soundtrack for my later chapters, so the anticipation still awaits! I might also include it on YouTube later, so stay tuned for that.**_

 _ **I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and more content will be coming as soon as I can post it. I hope you all will follow me if you want and please give as much feedback in the comment section. If you guys want to DM me about anything, whether it be about Tokyo Ghoul or not (maybe mostly Tokyo Ghoul because of the latest chapter OMGGGGGGGGGGGG), I'm here at any time. And until next time, BYE BYE! ;D**_

* * *

 ** _Views: 30,000_**

 ** _WHOA!_**


	11. Chapter 10: Reaching

_Chapter 10: Reaching..._

* * *

 _"My blue jeans_

 _Will last me all my life,_

 _So should we?_

 _I'm spending all this time,"_

 _-"Japanese Denim" by Daniel Caesar_

* * *

Haise gave a loud yawn yet it didn't seem it would overreach anybody outside the office. The room was ghostly, as he was the only one who would offer a chance of light and there was nobody else to help him. It haunted him as it made him feel as if the darkness was coming after him. It wasn't hard to ignore the atmosphere, though. He had to experience it on some nights. That's one of the things that he had to notice about his surroundings at the CCG.

It had been a long day for Haise. What with him preparing for the CCG's raid on the Nutcracker had him carrying enough weight for not just him, but for his Quinx Squad. Usually, it would be their job to accomplish all that. He's their mentor, not their butler. But in the end, he had to catch them up on this information again.

Finally, after he finished writing his last report, Haise sent it to the CCG. Leaning back in his chair, he gave a loud sigh of relief as he stretched his arms in the air. He instantly wanted to pass out, but he forced himself to open up his eyes. It was enough to give him a reminder that he needed to start heading home. He wouldn't want to worry Saiko and Mutsuki again (he wasn't so sure about Urie and Shirazu).

Haise started to pack up his things. It wasn't much. All he brought with him was his pens for the office and his quinque for the field. Yukimura 1/3 was definitely one of his most reliable utensils for work, despite enjoying the comfort his stationaries gave whenever he's writing. It's what he had to think of with his inquiring mind as he held onto the clutches of the briefcase. Of course, he couldn't help himself by having a slight anxiety as he realizes that he's holding onto a part of a ghoul, all thanks to the half of his anatomy being of that species.

Haise was already ready to leave the office once he gathered everything, but once he let his desk face the right side of his body, he stopped. It was a quick side glance, but he quickly turned his head back towards his desk as he didn't want that to slide.

His small notepad rested on top of the white desk. The same one he used for Rui's lessons.

Smiling as he remembered the small child, as well as trying not to panic as he had almost forgot the utensil just as small as her, Haise grabbed the notepad and slowly flipped through the first few pages. He stopped as he saw the familiar page of words he wrote down for Rui. There were not as many, as some columns were crossed out, listing that out as a word that Rui was now aware of. It was a lot to cross out, and he knew that he had to come up with more.

The fact that he still had to get home popped up in his mind. With that, Haise quickly put his notepad inside his coat and started walking out of his office. He was met with full on darkness when he turned off the light, but he hurried out of the room and into the hallways. Not to mention still having a small smile as he walked away.

Sometimes Haise wished that it hadn't been a month. All of the times he visited Rui made everything worthwhile and he always felt closer to her than the previous time. He felt as if he had known Rui his entire life every time he sees her. Like it was a daily pastime that he had been doing ever since she was born. He almost wished that he had known about Rui that same minute she was born. It would've made things much easier for him to know more about her.

Whenever he visited Rui, she was always ready to greet him with a big hug. She would call him Onii-chan, bringing an unusual nostalgia, and sit down impatiently while she waited to hear more words from him for their lessons. Haise was a bit skeptical at first about bringing in some words that were hard for other girls her age, but it was like an ingenious mind slapped him across the face when Rui easily learned all the words given to her like they were Christmas presents. She would struggle a bit, but her focus was already there. Her mom would always be proud of her daughter, not to mention be shocked by the extravagant words coming from her mouth.

 _Touka_ , Haise thought, and his footsteps got slower and his smile wider.

He's back at it again, thinking about Touka. He knew that he couldn't help himself. Whenever he thought about Rui, he brought Touka into his mind as well. The times that he visited the cafe wasn't just to visit and teach Rui. He always had an excuse to talk to Touka meanwhile, as well. He would let Rui work on her own before he would come over to the manager and talk about pretty much anything that came to mind. Other times, she would be the one to come to him while he's teaching Rui with a cup of coffee for him. He didn't know what kind of gesture that was, but he was appreciative of it.

Ever since those times, Haise cherished those times he had with Touka like it was his last day. Even if those times he spoke with her were brief and spent mostly with Rui, it was pleasant. No, it was _enchanting_. He can't stop thinking of the word as he continued to walk down the hallways, not hesitating to stop or slow down, as it was true. He would shout it to the roof of the ceilings if he could, but that would be an insult as it wasn't the sky, to where it would be stretched across the world and share his cry. It wasn't just their time together. It was the way she looked at him, her blue eyes so deep he fears that he might drown in them. The way her hair framed around her face, as if they were meant to be stuck against them so that they could easily point out her beautiful yet solemn smile. The way her coffee tasted...yes, he couldn't forget about her coffee, either. Then again, he can't always treasure the looks she offered. It was all about her gesture.

It was almost like a dream.

He knew that he admitted it to himself more than once, but he liked her. He really liked her. Of course, it wouldn't hurt him to repeat that a hundred times more. She was beautiful, both inside and out. Sure, it had been a month, but he can't help but feel as if he had known this woman before. Maybe he did, maybe before he became Haise Sasaki, but that didn't matter. It was all about the present for him.

Because of that feeling, he wanted to become closer, but…then again…

He can't help but think about Touka's past boyfriend.

It was one month ago and he still felt guilty about bringing up her boyfriend. The way she looked after she admitted that he was dead immediately imprinted that same guilt. A part of him told him that he deserved it, but now because of that he felt as if he was going backwards rather than forward into their relationship. He may have had no experience with romantic relationships, but he could understand that kind of struggle. Of having to handle the death of a loved one and to raise your child all on your own.

She's such a strong woman.

He didn't know much about, but that was all he could figure out. That, and how good of a mother she was to Rui. He was just getting to know her as a friend, but he didn't feel satisfied. He wanted something more, but he's already calling himself selfish for wanting that. He hated to admit it, but he did want something more.

He wanted a change.

A sudden bump against his body could only be taken as the only change.

"Hey, watch it!"

Haise stepped back from the giant blockade to see what he had come across. He was then stricken with disappointment once he saw his superior, Rank 1 Investigator Nobu Shimoguchi, in his gaze. "Oh, it's just you," Shimoguchi divulged, his words laced with annoyance.

Despite the cold front his superior was displaying, Haise mustered a posture of respect. "Investigator Shimoguchi, what are you doing here?" He didn't even apologize, as Shimoguchi's height brought a fear in him, as well.

Shimoguchi grimaced. "Late night paperwork. Though I thought you should be aware of that, Investigator Sasaki."

Even if he wanted to defend himself on Shimoguchi's accessible understanding, Haise can't help but wonder why. Shimoguchi had gotten out of the hospital a while ago due to his injuries received from Rabbit, yet he shouldn't be taking work very seriously. He could care less about Shimoguchi, but considering that he's his superior, he had every right to be concerned. Same goes for his squad and every other Investigator he's affiliated with.

"What the hell are you gawking at?" Shimoguchi demanded, patience no longer lurking in.

Haise's gaze to Shimoguchi increased with alarm and he backed up. "N-Nothing, Investigator Shimoguchi."

Shimoguchi scoffed. "I didn't think so." He crossed his arms, as if it was necessary. "Then again, I think it be necessary that you would offer that gaze. Consider that as practice for what may come to you."

Haise's eyes lessened, trying to hide himself behind a newly built wall between him and Shimoguchi. He knew that he was going to have to deal with his verbal schtick again. "You know, I've always wondered why a person like you would be accepted into the CCG. But then it came to me: it was out of pity. And before you could say anything, I have my ways of explanation for that reason."

Haise nonchalantly quirked his lip to the side, trying to think of something else to distract himself. He managed to do so, as he suddenly heard a set of clicks coming from behind Shimoguchi, still rambling enough to match a robot. It was low in sound, at first, but it then started to crescendo towards Haise. Curious, he attempted to tilt his head to see where it was coming from. Shimoguchi then followed his motion.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Shimoguchi angrily articulated. Haise hitched back to his original posture yet he still paid attention to the sound of clicks.

"That's another problem: you refuse to follow certain orders."

The clicks were coming by each second, making Haise realize that they were steps.

"That already proves my point on you being able to do whatever you want and nobody saying anything."

The steps were coming fast now, just by a single millisecond.

"Even so, at least we're smart about judging your notions."

The steps were closer, almost like the sound of bomb about to blow.

"You are just a stupid ghoul, after all."

The clinking and clanking stopped.

[2]What replaced it was a single echo of heels clicking together.

Haise, still hesitant on trying to move away from Shimoguchi's sight again, tilted his head so that he could see if he could notice who had come up to them.

"What are you doing, Shimoguchi-san?" The figure said, the voice matching a woman's as it was almost high pitched yet delicate.

Shimoguchi turned his stance away from Haise's and he was able to let Haise see a better view of who had appeared. A woman with a pure and smooth face, even when she was in her forties, glanced at Shimoguchi with a careless gaze. Her citrus eyes enhanced her feelings that she did not wish for what was happening to be necessary to her to come across and be hard to ignore. Her light brown hair was held up in a high, tight ponytail, with a few of her bangs covering her sides, and Haise knew that there would be trouble now that this woman had appeared.

There would be trouble now that Special Investigator Tomine, aka [3] the Ballerina, had appeared.

Shimoguchi tensed when he saw Tomine and awkwardly yet quickly saluted her. "Nothing, Special Investigator Tomine!"

Tomine narrowed her eyebrow, probably annoyed at one of her colleagues calling her by her title. Only Haise would know. However, it was quickly tossed to the side once she quirked her iris' to Haise. He didn't know what kind of expression he was making once he made eye contact with the Special Investigator, but it made Tomine show a subtle concern for the First Class Investigator. Haise was surprised, as no matter what he had shown on his face, Arima and Akira would talk to him strictly about it like parents to their son.

Biting her lip and hiding a growl, Tomine looked back at Shimoguchi and kicked both of his knees with the tip of her high heels. Shimoguchi winced when he felt the surprising pain and knelt on the polished floor, letting the cold feeling of it be the only thing he would find soothing. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Tomine calmly spat, a hand on her hip and her legs spread and slightly kneeling down as she looked down at Shimoguchi with his head bent down. "Berating one of of the underlings? An Investigator like yourself should know better."

Shimoguchi raised his head. "I wasn't making fun of Sasaki! I swear!" He looked to Haise, almost as if he threatened him and mentally told him to not say anything.

"Don't think I didn't see that side glance," Tomine revealed, her voice becoming higher and one of her heels transitioning from its spot on the floor to the side of his waist. "You keep forgetting to always tell the truth to me. I've always hated liars and if there were liars, I would have to sniff them out and grind them to dust, and that is very tiring for me to do. Do I have to add you to that list, Shimoguchi-san?"

"No, Investigator Tomine," Shimoguchi groaned, his hand clutching his side. He did his best on attempting to stand himself straight, and all Haise could do was gaze at one of the various punishments the Ballerina had to give. This wasn't the first time he had seen it and it most certainly wasn't the last.

Tomine positioned herself away from Shimoguchi, giving a small tusk at him, before turning to Haise. Instantly, her anger that made her well known for her violence was cleaned off and she carried a fair smile on her face while her eyes were closed. "You'll have to forgive Shimoguchi-san for this matter, Investigator Sasaki." She chuckled vaguely. Haise didn't know if it was real or not, considering that that's how she laughed no matter what. "I've known him longer than you have and, sadly, I know" — Tomine glanced at Shimoguchi with an irritated aura as he was starting to raise himself up from the ground — "he's an idiot."

Haise wanted to chuckle at Tomine's loud view on Shimoguchi, glad to see that he's not the only one.

Tomine moved her head towards Shimoguchi at the same time he stood up straight from the ground. She cleared her throat and it immediately made Shimoguchi flinch. "Apologize to Investigator Sasaki," Tomine whispered in a hoarse yet rude tone.

Shimoguchi gave an annoyed curve of his lip, showing an annoyance that Haise thinks is meant for him, and wide eyes to Tomine, showing his fear that is meant for her. It was all for a moment, however, as he quickly took the stance of bowing as an apology. "I'm sorry for my behavior, Investigator Sasaki," Haise heard Shimoguchi say in a robotic manner. Even he displayed a stiff position as he bowed and quickly returned to his regular position before he was chastised by Tomine.

"It's alright, Shimoguchi-san," Haise reassured blankly, paying attention to Tomine's demanding order rather than Shimoguchi's vague apology.

Both of Tomine's hands now gripped onto the sides of her waist, her gaze still on Shimoguchi. "Now that that's settled" — Tomine let one of her heels step forward, an exaggerated click of her heel being heard — "I would like for you to do something for me, Shimoguchi-san." Shimoguchi's eyes flicked with surprise only seen when a student is asked for his homework. "The Nutcracker case has caused serious conjunctions with other cases. The last thing we need is more ghouls when we need to dispose of the more plausible ones. So I wish for you to organize the cases into an easier set as soon as possible."

It was Shimoguchi's turn to take a step forward. "But-But that could take forever, Investigator Tomine," he argued. Haise could hear that he wanted to yell out his defense.

[5] "Then I suggest you better get started," Tomine said. Her eyes started to grow smaller as her eyebrows burrowed with order, but Haise could easily see irritation in them. She was one for trading her emotions easily. Whenever one sees her calm, her eyes turn citrus, a relieving color and a privilege to notice from her. Whenever one sees her angry, her eyes turn flammable. And now there was enough fire in her eyes to destroy all of Tokyo.

Before Shimoguchi could defend even more, Tomine turned her body towards Haise and shut her eyes in disappointment. "That will be all, Shimoguchi-san."

Shimoguchi shockingly froze at Tomine's excuse for departure from their conversation. Even Haise was afraid of the upfront commands from Tomine. He had seen the same facets from Arima and the other Special Investigators, but Tomine's was more open-minded and perfunctory. Even if there was a day that she did not have any problems or concerns towards her colleagues and the CCG, she would always easily slip through the hands of her given troubles. Always bending backwards and jumping as high as she could like a ballerina. She had done it for so long that Haise was not surprised that that was what she would be known for. And because of that, Shimoguchi sighed in a hidden provoked manner and walked away.

Haise tried to ignore the quick glance of aggravation from Shimoguchi's eyes when he passed by him.

Once his superior took enough steps that made it just be him and Tomine, Haise gave a sigh of relief, closing his eyes as an inclusion. He knew that Tomine was still in front of him, he bent himself forward in a bow. "Thank you so much, Investigator Tomine," he said, erasing his blank tone only said when Shimoguchi was with them.

Haise could hear a small chuckle and it made him open his eyes and look up to see Tomine giving a small smile. "You don't have to be so formal with me, Haise-kun," Tomine said motherly. "Last time I checked"—[5] Tomine made a single pirouette like a ballerina with her heel held hard against the tile floor—"there's nobody else here."

Haise didn't know why he felt nervous by her deduction of the logical scenery, but he did his best to release a believable chuckle. "Of course, Tomine," Haise agreed. Tomine extended her smile, her eyes making him wonder what oranges tasted like.

There's a reason why Haise knew how Tomine acted during certain situations. It's true that he didn't know who his parents were, or whether his past would pertain to that relation or not, so he sometimes makes up who was his "family" at the CCG. Arima's his "father", Akira's his "mother", the Quinx squad are his "children", and Tomine's easily his "godmother". Or if anything, [4] the "Godfather" of his "family". Basically, his relationship with her is the same as his relationship with Arima and Akira. That is if you could ignore the many threats and the sudden appearances near him like a ghost. The actions were still pretty scary, but Haise had to come to terms with them, like every other Investigator in the facility. Even so, he always appreciated Tomine's company and their relationship.

Tomine put her hands inside the pockets of her coat. "Though I'm sensing something's going on between you and Shimoguchi-san. So what happened?"

Haise gave a nervous chuckle. He could never get away with anything from Tomine. "Nothing happened, Tomine. I guess I was rushing when I bumped into Shimoguchi and he started insulting me."

Tomine sighed heavily, her smile starting to loose its form. "Me, oh, my, that man just never stops with his feuds." Haise offered a small nod in agreement, glad to see that Tomine wasn't thinking that he was lying. "He actually bullied one of my squad members earlier today, and Sumiya-chan told me that she never did anything wrong. She said that he just walked up to her and bad-mouthed her. Thank god she was telling the truth. If I didn't have my deduction skills, then he would've gotten away with every one of his cynical intentions."

Haise didn't say anything, because his undisturbed yet frozen smile could easily let Tomine know that he agreed. [5] Her deductions were always fantastic to look on, even if it was from a distance, as one stare from her would easily lead her to every secret uncovered and each person no longer being the person they once were or claimed to be. He couldn't help but admire her, all the while having some sort of terror from her credentials. It almost made him forget about Touka.

Almost.

But.

Never.

Haise wasn't paying attention, only to him thinking about Touka again, when he saw two of Tomine's nimble fingers in front of him and rubbed against each other many times as a snap. Haise offered a snap of his own, shown as a snap of his head going backwards in surprise. "Uh, yes?!"

"You didn't listen about what happened to me today, Haise-kun," Tomine said without giving Haise a chance to defend himself. Her fingers were still pushed together, yet they rubbed slightly against each other like small balls of putty slowly becoming one.

"No, I was, Tomine," Haise finally showed his defense. "First Class Investigator Sumiya Osojimo was confronted by Shimoguchi earlier. Is that why you decided to punish him?"

Tomine scrunched her nose with slight anger. "Not exactly." She turned her head away to stare out the window. The city of Tokyo had its bright lights out, and it reflected off of her eyes, believing that they could do better. "What you call punishment, I call a well-deserved maintaining of my fair adversity."

[5] From what Tomine had said, Haise was briefly reminded of Arima the last time he sparred with him. Even at a side glance, he noticed more dispassion rather than intimidation. She's not just showing it in her eyes; she's showing it in every part of her body. They both had the same pride, so it was not hard for Haise to look up to both of them. Akira was a more soothing person to him, but in some occasions, Tomine always acted like his mother in her place. All thanks to how much pride she had more than Akira.

Haise raised his head an inch higher. "If that's the case, then justice well deserved."

"I get to do things my own way," Tomine said, raising a curved hand in a sassy manner. Her other hand was dangling by her side, but that wasn't proving Haise that she was no longer interested in their conversation. She always liked talking. "But I still find it off that you aren't taking things very seriously today. You have something on your mind." The last sentence was not a question.

Haise burrowed his eyebrows with anxiety. He didn't even know if his gaze was still towards Tomine, as his thoughts were completely somewhere else. He had forgotten about Touka for a brief millisecond, and he hated himself for that. He hadn't forgotten about Rui, but with Touka, it was a necessity for him to be open-minded. However, he did not wish to bring in the girl on his mind to the wide open spaces of the CCG. Something in him made him hesitate.

Even so, Haise lessened the pressure and movements of his face to give any more ideas for Tomine. "Well, I guess I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings since I have… _somebody_ on my mind."

Tomine simply nodded at that comment. She then gave a wide stare and grin once she let that sink in. "Oh, me, oh, my, Haise-kun." Haise could hear Tomine trying to hide her excitement even when they were the only people in the hallway. "That is wonderful. I had no idea that you could be the romantic type."

Haise raised an eyebrow, annoyingly and playfully. "It's not that big of a deal, Tomine."

"It is to me!" Tomine exclaimed, her voice starting to become higher. Her restraints were futile, Haise embarrassingly analyzed. She quickly cleared her throat. "It's very sweet to see one of my underlings finding love in his life. [6] Who knows? Is this the start of something wonderful or new?" She put her hands together, not even waiting on Haise to answer. "So who is this girl? What's her name?"

"Her name is..." Whatever it was that made Haise stop speaking made it like he was storing his voice at a threshold. All he could do was keep his mouth wide open mid-sentence, not offering any sounds to make it seem he wanted to continue. He shouldn't be talking about Touka right now. He barely just met her, and now he suddenly wanted to bring her up. She's not his girlfriend, he knew that, so what was the point? Knowing that there was no need to continue, Haise closed his mouth and tried to tighten his lips from ever trying to make another sound.

He knew that that wouldn't stop Tomine, however. She pursed her lips together with worry and raised her eyebrows. "Haise-kun?"

Haise shook his head, but he wasn't sure what he did it with. Regret? Silence? A chance of misunderstanding? He didn't know. "Sorry, Tomine," he finally muttered. "It's just that—" Haise let his fingers go towards each other and they fit into the gaps in between, "—I'm not even sure if she's interested or not."

Tomine let a small gap in between her lips as a surprise, and her eyebrows were back to normal. "Ahh, I see," she said, her arms crossed across her chest. "Let me guess, you barely met her?"

Haise nodded. "It's already been like a month, but I don't know. She has had—" Haise thought about Rui and about her deceased father "—stuff going on with her and I feel like she doesn't see me as more than just a friend."

"And you don't want that?" Tomine guessed.

Haise shook his head quickly, more than necessary. "No! Well, I mean, yes! I mean...something." Haise was glad that it was late and no one was wandering the empty yet echoing hallways to hear his cry of hearing a false accusation. Realizing that it's not best to continue, he gave a small smile while fixing his hair. "It's nothing huge, Tomine."

Tomine frowned at Haise, and Haise knew that he messed up at trying to not continue with his love life. "Haise-kun, you rarely ever talk about a girl yet the first time you do, you seem hesitant. Considering that you're already having trouble explaining yourself and this lucky woman—" Tomine kneeled her head forward"—is proof enough that you need more help with this than I thought."

Haise raised a finger and pointed it above Tomine's nose. "You?" He then transitioned it towards himself at a slow pace as he was still pondering on Tomine's offer. "Help me?"

"Of course," Tomine said, moving her back again. "I may be old, but being married for twenty-five years can teach you a lot of things about romance." As she said this, Haise looked down and caught sight of Tomine's wedding ring on her left ring finger. Of course, he couldn't forget about Tomine and her husband, Special Investigator Kuran. Those two were one of the best pairs the CCG could ever have, all thanks to their bond in marriage.

"That's true," Haise agreed, but his eyes looked away from Tomine indistinctly.

Tomine covertly bit her lip. "It's fine if you don't want to. It's all up to you, but I just want to help you out with this kind of stuff."

Haise looked back at Tomine, who no longer was biting her lip, only quirking one side of them. He went backwards and he thought about Touka again. It was true that he wanted to ease his way up into his and her relationship. It's killing him everyday to let her and Rui appear in his thoughts everyday. He didn't know how it was possible, but it's giving him a good reason on why he should get closer. Even so, he did need help. He was not aware of romantic relationships, let alone experiences with them, not even charming a woman to bed. While he did not have much experience, he needed as much assistance as he can get.

"Okay," Haise said, giving a slight nod, and it made Tomine stop moving her lip. "Where do I start?"

* * *

 _ **1\. I wasn't interested in the song because it had "Japanese" in the title ;) I actually liked how the song related to this certain topic, which I rarely ever hear. Basically, it's about a man who wishes to be together with this girl for as long as they can. He relates the situation to Japanese denim, which is a rare fabric for jeans that lasts for years. Japanese Denim is a metaphor for wanting to be in a long-term relationship. And that is what Haise is silently wishing for.**_

 _ **2\. Feel free to play "Black Sheep" by Gin Wigmore while you are experiencing more of this character's sass ;D**_

 _ **3.I don't know if the CCG are also aware of Investigators' known aliases or if it's just ghouls who call them that. So I decided to make it we'll know to the CCG about the other aliases for the Investigators in this universe**_

 _ **be clear, I have never seen The Godfather. This is just my intuition on what I have heard from people, mostly my dad.**_

 _ **5.I created Tomine based on three of my favorite fictional characters: Sherlock Holmes from BBC Sherlock,**_ _ **Pearl from Steven Universe,**_ _ **and Annalise Keating from How To Get Away With Murder. These characters are amazing people and I decided to use them for help create Tomine. I thought it would be troubling to create an important OC, but I ended up having fun making her! Especially since I brought in some traits from three of my favorite fictional characters.**_

 _ **I based Tomine's analytic mind from Sherlock Holmes from BBC Sherlock. If you don't know the show, then watch it because it is a masterpiece! It makes you think just as much as Tokyo Ghoul does and if anything, I have to say that Steven Moffat, the creator of the show, is the British version of Sui Ishida. ;) Anyway, Sherlock is a consulting detective, to which he has the ability to notice his surroundings carefully, makes deductions from unimportant details and uses them to solve crimes he investigates. Tomine has the same ability as Sherlock, and she is known for having an advanced mind as an Investigator.**_

 _ **Next up is Pearl. I love this character! She's so passionate and understanding and I relate to her in every way (mostly because my birthstone is a pearl, go figure XP). Anyway, Pearl is a perfectionist, believing that everything will respond to the peace of the world as long as it follows the status quo. She has a playful and obedient attitude, and she is dedicated to whatever is given to her. Tomine has Pearl's spirit, being very playful and passionate towards her own goal. Also, Pearl's voice is so beautiful and I kinda use her voice when I read Tomine's dialogue (in English. For Japanese, I use Miyuki Sawashiro). Go ahead, try it!**_

 _ **Finally, Annalise Keating. You can take a look at this woman and she will easily bust your ass without saying a word. Annalise is a defense attorney who does not hesitate in putting certain people through hell with just her words. She's very self-sufficient and confident, whom makes other people both fear and admire her. Tomine has Annalise's spunk and confidence, always wanting things done her way and going at things too fast than necessary. So basically, Tomine is the Annalise Keating of Tokyo Ghoul :)**_

 _ **6\. If you guys ever see me dead, know that La La Land was the reason for the death of me, because GODDAMMIT! LA LA LAND IS ONE OF THE MOST FANTASTIC MOVIES I'VE EVER SEEN IN A LONG TIME! I KNOW IT'S OVERRATED BUT NOT ENOUGH IN MY OPINION! But seriously, I just couldn't go by without ever offering an allusion to "City of Stars (Pier)", one of the songs from the movie. The line Tomine says here is one of the lyrics for the song, and it's my favorite line.**_

* * *

 _ **Haha! You thought I would take another hiatus until the next chapter, huh?! My school year is starting to end and this is basically all I have if you ignore my final exams. Hell, I'm writing this right now in class at the moment. XD So anyways, I'm going to do as much as I can to update, considering that you guys asked me when Touka will figure out that Haise is Kaneki. It's only a few chapters away (maybe), so sorry if I'm holding you guys up. Please stick around. Remember to review and DM me anytime and until the next chapter, BYE BYE!**_

* * *

 _ **Views: 32,139**_

 _ **2,000 views in almost a week?! DAMN!**_


	12. Chapter 11: Hold

_Chapter 11: Hold..._

* * *

 _"In a foreign place, the saving grace was the feeling,_

 _That it was her heart that he was stealing…_

 _They made it far too easy to believe,_

 _That true romance can't be achieved these days,"_

 _\- "Only Ones Who Know" by Arctic_ Monkeys

* * *

"And this word is saccharine."

Rui giggled loudly with her eyes shut. "Yes, my name is Rui."

Haise tilted his head in confusion before he realized her misunderstanding. "[2] Oh, no, saccharine. Sac-cha-rine. It's a type of sweetness, but it can also be used to describe something excessively sweet, or refers to something containing sugar."

Rui puffed her cheeks; her way of showing her concentration. "Sac-core—"

"No," Haise interrupted, "Sac-cha-rine." He enunciated the syllables clearly as to make the memorisation of the word easier for Rui.

"Sac–." Rui stuttered, almost wanting Haise to ask if she still needed more help. "Sac-charine. Saccharine."

Haise clapped his hands together ecstatically. "You got it!" He praised.

Rui giggled happily, and took pride in her accomplishment, as Haise patted her head. Touka, who was standing off to the side, was listening in to the grammar lesson that her daughter was currently enjoying. An ever present smile, plastered to her face as she made coffee.

It was another day, and yet again, barely enough customers were coming through :re. The only occupants were a couple chatting - about what, Touka could care less - and Haise, who was currently mentoring Rui. Usually, she welcomed the silence in her café as it allowed her and her staff a moment of reprieve. She would sometimes converse with her friends and even play with Rui. On other occasions, she would wander around the shop, paying attention to the many books that she kept forgetting she bought for her shop for the sake of decoration. However, ever since Haise had become a regular customer, she couldn't help but smile at his company. He brought back a familiar feeling every time he stepped through the door... like déjà vu.

And she enjoyed it.

As soon as Touka started pouring the coffee, she saw Haise rise from his chair. Rui didn't seem to notice, as she was practicing her romanji. She couldn't help but notice his pace was much faster than before. Could it be that something major had happened?

Touka didn't think too hard on it, unconsciously keeping her eyes on him as to not break contact.

"Hi," he said, as if he had just met her for the first time. He's breathing very slowly, she noticed, a different tactic compared to the other times.

"Hi." Touka responded, snickering as she placed the cup of coffee in front of him. She still didn't break eye contact. "Here."

Today, perhaps unusually, Haise wasn't wearing his Investigator uniform. He donned blue jeans with black boots that made her question if that was a right choice to match. His grey long-sleeved shirt also seemed inappropriate since it was at least 80 degrees outside. Even the heat was getting to his hair, as strands were sticking out randomly. She didn't hold herself back, and she couldn't help but laugh again.

Haise's smile faltered. "What is it?"

Touka stoppped giggling, however, her smile remained. "Your hair," she said, motioning to her hair to indicate his own plight.

Haise blinked owlishly before bringing a hand over his hair, the loose strands of hair gently brushing the offending appendage. "Oh, shoot." he said embarrassingly. He brought his other hand in hopes of trying to keep his hair in place. Touka laughed as he did so very hastily.

"Sasaki, you don't need to do that," Touka assured, despite him continuing, and failing, his attempts of readjustment. Reaching across the counter, she grabbed his hands and brought them down. Almost low enough to knock his coffee cup over.

Right then and there, Touka stopped smiling. Her eyes were briefly locked onto her and Haise's locked hands. Her fingers glided underneath his wrist and she could feel his pulse. Whatever he displayed before on his face could no longer trick her to show his obvious infatuation with her, as the pulse was pounding through his skin at an unusually fast pace.

Touka looked up and she could see Haise do the same. His cheeks had a sharp, deep hue of red. She used to think about how silly yet cute he was whenever he flustered. However, that was from afar. Right now, she was close.

 _Very_ close.

Before anything else could happen, Touka flinched backwards, snatching her hand away from Haise's. Realising that her heart was pounding, she worried whether she had embarrassed herself. She could feel blood rush to her face as her cheeks heated up, but she didn't want to see if she was blushing or not. She didn't know she couldn't. It's not like checking would make things better.

"Kirishima-san?" Haise questioned, setting his hands down but not breaking eye contact with Touka.

Touka blinked as a way to bring herself back down to reality. "I'm sorry, Sasaki," she apologized, taking a step forward in order to show no inelegance. "I didn't get much sleep yesterday, so I may or may not be in control of myself."

Touka wanted to slap herself for giving such a stupid and mindless explanation about her actions. Did that even make sense, she asked herself. For a moment, she thought Haise would say something blunt like "liar", which would've been the first blunt thing he said to her, but he only gave a small smile.

"It's alright," he responded. He grabbed the cup of coffee in front of him. "I understand." His smile suddenly made her smile as well, but she couldn't help but wonder if it was fake or not.

It was only since yesterday since Touka's friends talked to her about her love life, yet it seemed to be like four years. She didn't know how to take Aomi's words. She spoke them like it was okay for somebody to steal them from her. It would be an open door of an opportunity for Touka if she wanted to, but she somehow didn't know how to set herself for it. Basically, even if it hadn't been twenty-four hours, she gave herself repetitive reminders on how she was fine with how she was. There were mixed feelings with what happened in her past, whether she would accept them or not, even if she tried to focus on what was happening at the moment.

It had been going well for quite a while. Touka thought that she could finally have time to herself to think about what to do. But, as if the world wanted to give her more than what she could take, Haise decided to visit her and Rui again. Ever since he made his way into the shop, Touka really may not be fully in control of her actions.

...what was she thinking?

Touka glanced around the shop and saw the only other people there had decided to finally leave. They didn't even offer a goodbye unlike some of the other kinder customers would, nor did Touka give a goodbye of her own, and the two left the coffee shop in silence. Once the bell by the door rang, Haise turned his head to see the door close. It took faster than a second for him to transition his head back to Touka.

"The shop's really slow today, isn't it?" Haise pointed out, his elbows resting on the counter.

Touka nodded in agreement. "We don't usually get a lot of customers on Wednesdays. To be completely honest with you though, I like it when it's like this." Touka's eyes traveled to her left and she could see Rui still writing. "It gives me more time to watch Rui."

Haise chuckled, his fingers playing with his half-empty cup. "My, what a caring mother you are."

Touka looked back at Haise and smirked. She had her hand on her waist and she suddenly felt calm. "It isn't much of a choice. It's all about instinct."

Haise's eyes made a brief gleam. She knew how much he cared about Rui already, so it wasn't hard on seeing him grow soft whenever her daughter was brought up.

"That's true," Haise agreed. "But I think that Rui-chan should be the last thing you should worry about."

"What?" Touka asked, confusion and her slowly rising anger bringing a frown to her face.

Haise looked like he wanted to say something else, but he hesitated, probably pondering over what he had just said. Touka thought, for a second, that he was suddenly waging his way to her like the other men before. It almost have her an acute turbulence, even if that did occur whenever her daughter was brought on as the subject in a negative occurrence, but she withdrew herself. Mostly because Haise looked guilty.

"Oh, no, that's not what I meant," Haise assured, his voice a bit louder, and strained, than before. The loudest he had ever spoken. "I mean, don't you have other stuff to take care of, well, besides your shop and Rui-chan? Oh, not that Rui-chan isn't important to you, which she must be. I mean, she _is_!"

Touka's feelings welled up and made her laugh at Haise's nervous front, making his eyebrow twitch with frustration.

"Calm down, Sasaki," Touka said, still giggling. The way she said Sasaki always made her tongue dance in a very effective result. "You look like you're going to explode."

From the way Haise's cheeks flushed, it seemed as if that was his goal the entire time.

"And I know that I've told you this before," Touka continued, thinking back on their past conversations the past month. "I have school over at [3] Megami University, taking care of my shop, and having to look over what goes on with my employees..."

Touka kept on talking about what went on in her life, yet she didn't have the heart to be fully invested. She only paid mind to the movements Haise made meanwhile he watched her. The way he held onto the coffee cup with his right hand, alternating the location of it as he kept taking sips from it. The way his left hand slowly tapped against the countertop with just a single forefinger. Even the way his hair still had strands rising in the air. She didn't think that she could ever multitask in that way before. She could barely focus on one thing at a time, so this was entirely contrasting from her usual movements.

She did her best in not focusing too much on his face. Not that there was nothing wrong with it, but is like she would get mentally slapped by those simple facets. It wasn't with charm but rather nostalgia. It was almost violating.

How could his face, out of all the faces she had seen beforehand, almost make her feel that way?

Touka breathed out and she realized that she had finished talking. It took her awhile to see that Haise was apparently too focused on her.

She wanted to ask if he was alright, but before she could put it into words, Haise blinked, returning to reality.

"Oh, wow," Haise said, making Touka wonder if it was laced with a flattering tone. "You really do have a lot on your plate."

"Yeah..." Touka agreed, not offering to say anything else.

However, Haise didn't offer to let that continue. "You don't have anything else?"

Hearing that made Touka seem as if he wasn't impressed. He was acting differently than before, she thought, and she expected him to retrace back on what he had said.

"Um, no," Touka muttered, trying to hide her annoyed expression with a confused one.

"Oh, uh, I see," Haise stuttered. Touka suddenly felt embarrassed as he actually wanted to talk to her. He glanced around the shop and stopped once he spotted her distinguishable bookshelf. Touka knew what was coming to her as soon as he did.

Well, almost, since Rui then moved from her working spot to climb to the seat next to Haise.

"Onii-chan," Rui said, surprising Haise before he looked behind him to see the black-haired child. She had her journal in her hands and placed it in front of him, pointing it to a certain group of romanji. "How do you say this word again?"

Haise looked down at the notebook. "That's an easy one. That's Myosotis, but an easier way to say it is a forget-me-not."

"Is that a flower?" Rui asked, almost worried that she might get it wrong.

"It is," Haise smiled and Rui's nose twitched as if she could smell the flower. "[4] It's actually my favorite flower."

Rui beamed with reverence, making Touka chuckle. She knew about that fact all too well.

"Really?" Rui asked, letting Haise nod. Touka didn't move, yet she was thinking about what went on in her daughter's head. Whatever occurred in that brain of a child is bound to be blunt and honest.

"Okay, I think that's enough practice for today, Rui-chan," Haise said, closing the notebook. "I wouldn't want to work you too hard."

"Okay, Onii-chan." Rui obeyed, but she pursed her lips into a pout. The act brought an idea to the forefront of Touka's mind.

"Hey, Rui," Touka leaned towards her. Rui looked up to her, her pout no longer intact. "Do you want to go to the park?"

Rui's blue eyes brightened like the ocean and she gave a large smile that exposed her teeth before nodding vigorously.

"Okay, then," Touka chuckled, grabbing Haise's now empty cup. "Go on and change, okay?"

Rui gave another quick nod before grabbing her notebook and dashing straight out of the room. Touka didn't hesitate on twisting her head back to Haise.

"Do you want to come with?" Touka asked. Haise had his shoulders slumped but quickly straightened himself once he heard Touka's question.

"But is it a good idea to leave the shop?" Haise's eyes looked worried, as if he has ruined his chance. Only Touka would know.

"It's fine." Touka tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Again, as I said, we're slow on Wednesdays, and my brother's upstairs, so he can watch the shop for a bit."

Haise looked like he wanted to offer another defense, but Touka was quick when she took off her apron. Surprisingly, he said nothing else. Touka didn't even expect this man to be so flustered with seeing her uniform without her apron.

"Calm yourself, Sasaki." Touka eyed him and Haise maintained his regular gaze. "I'll be right back. I'm going to go change."

Touka didn't even catch Haise's reluctant and fazed nod. She only turned to the door that led to her apartment, clutching her black apron with little care.

Climbing up the stairs, Touka couldn't help but give a small smile as she thought about the awkward Investigator. Even if he was acting odd on this day, she thought that maybe she could help ease him of his worries. She still had her silly promise she made to herself, sewn into her heart and mind, but it wouldn't hurt to go ahead and be with a friend.

She just needed to grab something.

* * *

Haise Sasaki was the most idiotic and hopeless romantic in the entire world.

Not even a full twenty-four hours passed since he was offered help from Tomine. It was nothing new to him based on his teachings. Back when he was a Rank 3 Investigator, he was given the same regimens and training sessions by Arima, Akira, and Tomine. Whether they were verbal or physical, he paid very close attention to them and made sure he was not close to forgetting them. Considering that the one to teach him about how to "enchant" someone - Tomine's words, not his - was one of his mentors, he could say that there was nothing new.

Despite having even way too familiar with Tomine's style, Haise still had to act like a student as he was given a brief lesson about how to attract Touka. It later about ten minutes, as he was just old various facts rather than actions.

* * *

 _"Listen carefully, Haise-kun," Tomine began once Haise agreed to hear her out. "Things are usually done with words rather than actions when it comes to getting closer. The key is to think of how to start and continue a conversation."_

 _Tomine held out her index finger, letting Haise become aware that it's a one._

 _"One: Always pay attention to what they're saying. Be interested in what they do, that should be a given." Tomine flipped her middle, indicating that she had moved on to point two. "Two: Do not be blunt with them. Always keep certain comments to yourself, no matter how much they could range in." Another finger. [5] Sign of three. "Three: don't make things all about you. It'll make you seem egoistic."_

 _Haise bit the inside of his cheek, wondering if he might ever act that way in his life. Tomine made four fingers with a straight face._

 _"Four: flatter them. Try and come up with sly yet expected comments." Her entire hand was splayed in front of Haise's face. "Five: make sure you do something nice for them..."_

* * *

Haise had repeated Tomine's words in his heads, unsure whether he had forgotten some of the details. Even if he had, the facts were still the same no matter what order they were placed in. Haise made sure he had them written in stone for when he met with Touka.

That is to say that he really wasn't living up to them.

A hopeless romantic, indeed.

It hasn't been long since they left :re, yet once they walked to the park across the street, Haise couldn't stop thinking about his lousy attempts. Tomine's voice wrestled it's way into his head as he had the perfect opportunity to talk to Touka.

 _One: always pay attention to what they're saying._

Haise followed that way too seriously. It was nice to hear stuff about Touka, but he didn't know what else to do when she stopped and he was now well known with her life. He knew that he acted greedy when he asked for more like a beggar.

 _Two: Do not be blunt with them._

Haise was naturally good at ascertaining when someone was being dishonest with him and as a result, he usually made this known. However, he did his best in not saying anything blunt. Even when Touka got... _very_ close to him and she tried to lie about her behavior, he kept his mouth shut.

 _Three: Don't make things all about you._

He was basically repeating One. All he did was ask for stuff from Touka rather than speak about himself. Well, that's probably for the best since no one wanted to hear the life of a Ghoul Investigator.

 _Four: Flatter them._

...

Fuck.

That was all Haise could think about that comment after his attempt at it. First, he complimented her for being a caring mother. He thought hints would be fine from that point on, but that point turned out to be anything but sharp. When he said that Rui should be the least of Touka's problems, he was hoping that she would take it as "I'm here now, so I will take your worries far away from you." How could he forget that worrying about your own child is an absolute necessity for a parent?

Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Dear God, he was stupid!

He didn't even hit Five yet, but Haise felt as if he was just going backwards.

Rui meanwhile, was skipping in front of him, blissfully ignorant of the internal turmoil that her tutor was currently undergoing. It worried him, as she was far ahead of him and Touka, who was walking by his side (at a respective distance, of course). However, Touka kept calling her to come back to them, with Rui not minding as she would be back near her mother. He was grateful for seeing that. It was the only thing to calm him down from his stress. Was it stress? Could be overthinking? An exaggeration?

Whatever it was, he kept wishing for it to go away.

Touka then started to walk closer to Haise. "Are you doing okay?"

Haise looked up at Touka, who was flashing him a small smile. God, she was beautiful. "I'm doing okay."

He gave a small smile back, but he didn't even know if it was assuring or not. All he could trust was Touka's nod back to him.

Haise was trying so hard at maintaining his attempts of conversation, but he couldn't say anything. The same went for Touka, as she continued looking at Rui. The small glance he could make towards various parts of the park didn't help as well. This wasn't the first time he visited the park, but he always appreciated how it's views helped soothe him. He could tell that given from his position, his situation was that serious and uncomfortable. He couldn't stop clenching and unclenching his hands as the three continued walking.

"So how's everything with you?" Touka finally broke the silence. Her hands were behind her back, making him wonder if she was nervous too. Her? Nervous? He could almost laugh at that.

"Oh, umm," Haise said trying to think of what to say.

 _Three: don't make things all about you._

A cold sweat ran down the back of Haise's neck. Tomine's voice resounded so clearly and loudly within his head that it wouldn't have surprised him that he was currently being haunted by the phantasm of his mentor's voice.

"It's fine, nothing new." Haise responded quickly, shutting his mouth as if to prove that that was all he had to say. Touka nodded back without protest, and Haise immediately wanted to change his answer. He wanted to tell her everything about himself. About how he and his squad were improving and getting more well known. That was the only thing he had on his mind, something that would at least break the ice. Sad to say that that one option was blown off the table. It was almost disorienting, but at the same time, he was glad. At least Tomine dragged him a bit from that route.

"What about your job?" Touka asked politely.

...Damn it...

Haise cleared his throat. "My what?"

"I'm not stupid or anything," Touka informed him. "I see you wear that coat almost everyday. Not that that's surprising for a Ghoul Investigator."

She wasn't smiling anymore, but the charisma was seeping out of her, like a broken dam.

Haise put a hand behind his neck. "Oh, well, it's not like anything much happens over there. Plus, I told you this: some of my work is classified, so I can't really tell you what goes on."

"I understand." She bowed her head slightly as another nod. Haise probably thought that she didn't want to hear those details either.

Haise wanted to be surprised by her sudden comprehension, but he could see her true colors. She seemed frustrated by his response. He could just point it out to her if he could.

 _Two: do not be blunt with them._

 _I hope you're goddamn right, Tomine._

"Mommy!" Rui shouted, making Haise and Touka looked ahead. Rui's tiny index finger pointed towards Haise's left. "I want to go in the garden."

The two adults turned their head and Haise didn't even realize that they had just arrived near the park garden. It's true that he had been familiar with this park, but that didn't mean that he remembered every exact fraction of it.

Touka didn't give a reply. She only walked towards the entrance. Haise tried in vain to catch up with her and her sudden pace. Rui stopped going on ahead and playfully walked near her mother.

The three walked in silence, but that time was not because of Haise's anxiety, for once. All he could do was look ahead of the rows and rows of flowers in the garden. The colors were almost engulfing, as bright as the fire he sees everyday at the CCG, while others were as calming as :re's ambiance. It's too strong that he wished for it to trap the guilt and awkwardness he's obviously building.

"You were staring at the books again." Touka said abruptly.

Haise jumped, honestly surprised by her propulsive reappearance. "I'm sorry?"

"You were looking at the books again, back at :re," Touka continued. "I bet you were looking for something new to read."

Haise chuckled, but for the first time, it wasn't with anxiety. "Well, I'm always looking for something new."

"Oh, that I knew for awhile. You practically read every book in my shop."

"That's a lie!" Haise said in a much higher pitch, earning a laugh from Touka.

"Is it now?" Touka said in a teasing voice.

"Onii-chan's lying, Mommy," Rui interrupted. "He reads super duper fast, just like a cheetah."

"I don't always read fast, Rui-chan," Haise defended, a small blush creeping in. "I take my time with my reading."

"No no, I'm going to have to side with Rui," Touka stated, pursing her lips primly. Her hand rested on top of Rui's head, gently fiddling with her hair. "You're actually the second man I know who could actually be that interested in reading."

 _Two: don't be blunt._

 _Three: don't make things all about you._

"I see," Haise replied, biting his lip undetected. Cursing internally.

The awkward aura he had wasn't going away. Because of his obsession of following Tomine's advice, it's like he kept finding more of that unnecessary emotion. Emotions should be something that should set you free, something that can make a person think whatever they want.

Haise had to remind himself that he was free; what mattered was how he dealt with that freedom.

Touka only stared at him before looking past him, as if he completely vanished. "Oh, look, Rui, do you want to buy some flowers?"

Haise looked behind him to see a small cart with various bouquets. He only looked back in time to see Touka bending down to give Rui small coins for the flowers. He didn't want to seem crazy, but he thought he saw the two exchange quick winks.

"Will she be okay?" Haise asked once Rui ran to the cart. He didn't notice that he and Touka walked a little bit to a new row of flowers. Sunflowers as tall as them.

"She's fine," Touka assured. "She knows she can't go far, and she'll find us."

 _But doesn't that scare you?_

He didn't say this aloud. Only gave a small hum as an "okay".

Touka side-glanced him, and Haise expected it to be irritated. Of course, all because of his lousy moves. However, there was concern.

"Sasaki," Touka said holding tight onto the strap of her purse. "Did something happen to you?"

She's onto me, Haise jokingly laughed. He didn't laugh.

"What makes you think that?" Haise denied.

"Now, don't lie to me," she chuckled, but there's no free will. "I see that you're flustered with virtually every breath."

"Maybe that's how I always act."

"I don't know you that well yet, but I get the impression that that's not true."

Her correction reminded him of Tomine, making his composure almost shatter into nonexistence.

"So what's wrong?" Touka asked again. This time, Haise could tell that she wanted no more jokes.

He sighed in defeat. To be honest, he didn't even know what he was doing anymore. His brain was fried and his body was tired, not giving any more support. He couldn't hear Tomine's voice anymore, so it's a dead end.

Finally, he looked at Touka with exhausted eyes. "It's been a while since I've gotten to know you, Kirishima-san."

They stopped walking, like that sentence was a shock to the body and soul. Not like they even noticed. Only the flowers did.

"I always enjoy our conversations." Haise continued steadfastly. "But I felt as if what I say isn't enough, so I thought that I should try something different."

Haise was smart. He knew that Touka knew what he was saying. But he felt that that explanation was vague.

"Now that's just stupid." Touka blurted.

He knew it.

"You shouldn't try anything new, Sasaki." Touka continued. She didn't mention about why he did that, making him have sweet relief. "I like our conversations too, and I like you the way you are."

He didn't know that.

And then something popped up in his mind. A memory.

* * *

 _"And, finally." Tomine said, raising another finger from her left hand. "Six: be yourself. It doesn't matter if you accomplish One through Five, but Six is the absolute important rule to follow."_

 _Haise stiffened. "It seems so simple."_

 _"So are the other ones before," Tomine chuckled, putting her hands in her pockets. "But Six does the one thing the others cannot. It can set you free."_

* * *

Haise didn't know what to say. Not from following Tomine's advice. It was because he had the important Six. That what Touka admitted was no longer just a thought.

Because what Touka had said was true.

"I'm not afraid of you." Touka said. "But I am worried about you. Whatever you did before, that wasn't you. So please go back talking like the normal idiot you are."

Haise laughed, his cheeks flushing intensely. Not that he cared. He didn't even care if the whole world was watching. He was shaking, and for a second he realized that that was the greatest thing he could do. A reminder that he was alive.

"So much for going through and through with that," Haise jokingly said.

"But it's alright," Touka assured. "You're still you."

 _I'm still me..._

He didn't know why, but he almost fainted at that.

"Oh, that's right." Touka exclaimed, and reached for her purse. "I forgot to give you—"

Touka moved too quickly for her purse, as her heel suddenly stepped on a small rock. It wasn't effective for her to break anything, but she fell forward.

"Whoa!" Haise exclaimed, grabbing Touka and taking himself down with her.

Haise thought that before he was stiff as a board, but given from the position he and Touka were in, he could've matched a person who was inept enough to look at Medusa with wide eyes. He was on top of Touka, his left hand holding onto her back and his right spread across the grass. It was soft, lessening the compact collision, but he didn't pay attention to that.

He only had his eyes on Touka.

This was way different than from how close he was with her at :re. He noticed everything about her at this distance. Her eyes, the perfect imitation of the wide open sea, were only looking up at him. Her hand clutched onto his left arm while the other was against her chest. Her bob was sprawled across the grass, moving slightly from the small, sudden wind. His knees were close to her legs, but they didn't move, proving that she was just as frozen as he was. Even by her face, which could be in the same shade of red he had. Everything was calm, but he didn't care.

Without thinking, he leaned closer towards Touka. The hair on the back of his neck rose like the hackles of a dog. His heartbeat increased, making the blood flow even faster to his cheeks. He expected Touka to stop him. He thought about her deceased boyfriend, Rui's father, so he wouldn't blame her if she did.

But she didn't. Instead, she slightly closed her eyelids. On instinct, he slowly copied her, all so while his head tilted. Their noses touched and he could feel her warm breath on his lips.

"Mommy!"

Both their eyes flicked open and they were quick in separating. Haise was no longer on top and both he and Touka could stare at each other. They didn't even bother hoisting themselves up once Rui suddenly ran towards the two.

"I got you flowers!" Rui informed.

Haise looked down at the grass, too ashamed to look back at Touka.

"Onii-chan?"

Haise looked up and his nose brushed against a bouquet of flowers. And then it came to him: the flowers were meant for him.

Forget-me-nots.

"Rui-chan." Haise whispered, taking the small bouquet.

"It's your birthday today, isn't it, Onii-chan?" Rui smiled. "April 4th!"

[6]"What?" Haise asked, his cheeks calming down.

"I told her that it was your birthday today," Touka explained. Haise turned to her to see her grabbing her purse. "You didn't think that I forgot, did you?"

Well, I didn't, because I was the one that forgot, Haise thought.

"Here," Touka offered a book from her purse. "I don't know if you actually read all of my books, but I bought you a new one for today."

Haise looked at Touka. She was smiling, the blush from her cheeks completely wiped off, and her lightly tanned skin gleamed in the sun. He trailed towards her hand, her nails carefully displayed on top of her gift. Haise took the book, reading the cover.

[7] _**Kokoro by Natsume Sosuke**_

It's a new book. One he never read before. That was what surprised him.

"Rui sort of helped picking it out." Touka giggled.

Haise looked back at Rui, her hands behind her back and twisting her body side to side with a small perkiness.

"Solicitude, right?" Rui said.

 _Solicitude_

 _Kokorozukai._

She said it perfectly.

And that made Haise smile.

"Happy birthday," both Touka and Rui said in unison.

Haise felt a burning feeling in his heart. It wasn't the same as the one he felt before with Touka a minute ago. No, this one was much calmer, more accepting. He remembered that he did receive gifts for his birthday earlier. He had a lot of work at the CCG, so he usually didn't focus too much on that day. Even if before he was too focused on him trying to flirt with Touka, that was oblivious to him. And here he was, in a garden, surrounded by diverse flowers, not thinking about his mentor's advice, a four-year-old prodigy smiling like the child she was, and a woman whom he liked, giving him gifts when he never even asked.

He really was an idiot.

* * *

 _ **1\. Arctic Monkeys, how you make me feel so at ease with everything. Arctic Monkeys are one of my absolute favorite artists, ever since my sister and her boyfriend introduced me to them two years ago. "Favourite Worst Nightmare" is my favorite album by them, having a distinct sound in their tracks.**_

 _ **One of the songs from that album was "Only Ones Who Know". This song is just so beautiful and so calm that I felt that it would be perfect for this chapter. Right now, Haise and Touka are heading closer and closer into a much more intimate relationship than before. There are two sides of the story: Haise wishing to steal her heart yet unaware how while Touka wants nothing to do with romance. I believe this song describes their verge of becoming closer despite these setbacks. They are proving to others that a "true romance" is blossoming and it is the kind that can't be received from others.**_

 _ **2\. The Japanese translation for saccharine is "** **amattarui** **". Rui mistook this as "Anata** **C wa** **Rui", which translates to "You are Rui". She thought that Haise was calling her out.**_

 _ **3.*in a sarcastic manner* Gee, I wonder why Haise's favorite flower is the forget-me-not.**_

 _ **(Silently crying inside while realizing what I've done)**_

 _ **4\. Re: pray 101 is now in session *pfff* XD**_

 _ **Megumi University is known as the fictional sister** **University** **of** **Kamii** **University. It is also one of the top six schools in Tokyo. I thought that Touka going to** **Kamii** **seems a little out of way, so I decided to make up another college for her to go to rather than the other.**_

 _ **5.I hope you're paying attention to that comment, Sherlock fans!**_

 _ **6.I got that quick forgetful tone Haise had from "The Great Gatsby". One of the main characters forgot that it was his birthday right after a heated conversation. Just a quick reminder that it is completely normal to forget your birthday.**_

 _ **7.I had to search up a book that must have some relation to the story. Kokoro by Natsume Sosuke is something that I have never read, but now I plan to. I chose it as I heard it has major themes of isolation, guilt, and friendship ;D I figured it matched with the setting of Tokyo Ghoul perfectly**_

* * *

 _ **...well...Chapter 125 happened...**_

 _ **SOMEBODY HOLD ME, IM HIGH ON DRUGS AND I CANT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE!**_

 _ **(I know it's been like what, 3, 4 weeks since the chapter, but I at least want to give my reaction.)**_

 _ **Ever since then, I haven't stopped rereading it and slamming my head against the wall with happiness, because I can't believe that Ishida-sensei would do that. I fucking swear, if anything happens to them, I'm gonna do something!**_

 _ ***sigh* Now that that's outta my system, I apologize again for the wait, everyone. But now that it's summer, I plan on working as much as I can. Though I really hope you'll understand as I am going to start college soon and I have to work hard. So please stick around!**_

 _ **Also, other news, I have a new beta, TheGreenDooredBookshop! This author asked if I needed help and I'm grateful to finally have help fixing up my story. So there'll be no more problems with the mistakes in my chapters! So anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and if you want, comment, favorite, follow, DM me, whatever. And until the next chapter, BYE BYE!**_

 _ **(Hello, this is TGDB. Whilst it is nice that my colleague DarkSummerBrightWinter96 has so much faith in me, I am not infallible, so please forgive any mistakes or/and miss any typos. Please follow or favorite this story.)**_


	13. Chapter 12: Inch

_Chapter 12: Inch…_

* * *

" _But I still find solace_

 _When you say_

 _That you know how I feel_

 _When it's wrong_

 _And we ain't been right for years"_

 _-"Circles" by EDEN_

* * *

"Ayato, this was not what I meant when I said I wanted to see Onee-chan and her daughter," Hinami complained as she and Ayato were on top of a building. "I figured we would just go in there and talk like normal people do."

"You know very well that when it comes to me and my sister, we do not just _talk_ ," Ayato said with a hint of backlash. "If we talk, it will go to yelling. If we yell, then it will lead to fighting. And I should believe that my stupid sister does not want her 'human' life disrupted."

"But coming over at night to spy on them is not a good alternative either," Hinami acknowledged fiercely despite the time being almost midnight.

"Hey, I at least offered a chance for you," Ayato stated. It was dark, but he was sure that Hinami could see him bringing a finger up to her. "Either it's this or we go back."

Hinami tusked at Ayato's attempt at being demanding to her. Ayato didn't mean to be, but he knew that she didn't take it seriously. He would never try to pressure her too much. Even whenever they were together in their missions with Aogiri, he always made sure his frequent remarks to the other members was tender with Hinami. The only ones who noticed the hushed demands were Miyabi and Rishou. Then again, he could guess that Hinami could also sense a tension in his voice. Not like that was surprising.

It had been a month ever since Ayato and Hinami found out about Touka and her daughter. It still hadn't gotten to his mind that his sister was not just a mother, but that he was an uncle. Hinami could easily accept it, of course, as it was the only thing she could talk about with Ayato every time they were alone. It was all repetitive yet expected with how Hinami approached the topic. How excited to see that Touka had a daughter, how she really wanted to see her, how she wondered what kind of person her daughter was.

It made Ayato glad that she was able to think positive on that fact, especially considering that they were with Aogiri, one of the many reasons of destruction in Tokyo. [2] They recently had to be spies during a Ghoul Auction, to which that event was disrupted due to the doves. Despite that happening, he and Hinami both made it out okay with only a few bruises and Hinami only had Touka and her daughter on her mind. It really did relieve him that she still had some sort of alleviation as a feeling.

Especially when he didn't feel anything.

While Hinami was busy dotting and daydreaming about Touka and her daughter, Ayato was being hesitant about it. He didn't even know what he would do or say if he were to come face to face with his sister again. It had been four years for crying out loud! Keeping that long of a dysfunctional relationship must be a new record. Sometimes he would think about the other members' relationships, like Miyabi and her father or Rishou and his girlfriend, to see some comparisons. Then again there were two things wrong with that. One: that's their business. And two: comparing and contrasting would make him that much of a coward.

 _What is a coward?_

Now, that's something that he couldn't answer. Not to mention, let him think if he was one.

After a month, ultimately, he finally agreed to let them both go to Touka's cafe to visit the two. Despite that, he didn't want to talk to Touka just yet. Even so, he did want to see his niece, face to face. One look at the brat's face wouldn't trigger him at all, so long as it wasn't his sister's. Hinami, however, did not appreciate Ayato's loophole for visiting. Even so, he knew that she wouldn't deny it since they were already there.

For it being the city of Tokyo, the environment should be brimming with lights. However, the 16th ward did not have much to offer. The ward was as quiet as the 20th ward, as far as he could remember. There weren't even that many street lights on (even the light of the moon wasn't helping him), not even letting Ayato see if there were any [3] wanderers. Because of the lack of human and ghoul life combined together, the 16th ward was almost dull.

While it was inessential, Ayato and Hinami were able to find the cafe :re in just a span amount of time. Even if it was not meant as a regular way of life for either a human or ghoul, being in Aogiri Tree did manage to keep those two prepared for certain situations in any variety.

"I really hope this is the right place," Hinami said warily as she looked over the edge of the building.

"It has to be, Hinami," Ayato assured callously. "All the research shouldn't go down for nothing for just trying to find the place."

Hinami curved her lips to the side. "Such big talk for somebody who is not _offering_ to see his sister face to face."

Ayato clenched his fists, realizing that Hinami was not going to let this go.

"I told you things are different," he explained, practically shouting, making Hinami look back at him. "Can't you understand that?"

Hinami frowned, making Ayato feel weird. And almost regretful. He knew that he was not making a good decision towards the situation. "I do understand, Ayato. But sometimes, different can be boring once in awhile."

"Then what do you think I'm doing here?" Ayato huffed, stubbornness reaching at its finest. "It's already out of my area that I'm doing something like this. It's like I'm completely exposed."

"What are you talking about?" Hinami said in a hushed yet assuring tone. "From what I've heard from you these past years, wasn't this normal for you back when you were protecting Onee-chan?"

Ayato didn't say anything. He was too busy having a impingement of memories inside his head. Thoughts about all the times he had of Touka were almost depressing to look back on, considering the fact that he also wasn't there for most of them. Stubbornness was all part of his whist and deficient ego. He never had the chance or strength to be able to talk to her over at Anteiku, always looking from the sidelines. Even if he did come face to face with her, he couldn't even be honest, physically, verbally and mentally. All of the words he wanted to say were washed away with every attack he made against her. And now the wrong words were the ones making it said and done, creating too much of a strain.

Ayato shook his head, mooning over the past, before he walked closer to the edge, not even looking back at Hinami to give her a reply. [4] He could see two balconies, not that far down from the roof. The railings stook out with a good amount of ground for at least one person. They were not that far apart, so it would be easy to see change positions.

"Let's just get this over with," Ayato mumbled, almost stammering. He could sense Hinami wanting to say something else, but he quickly jumped over the edge.

Ayato landed on the railings, thankful that not that much sound came from its steel material. It did leave an impression aurally as he saw a figure in bed through the sliding glass doors moving slightly. He panicked for a second, but kept still as the figure went back to sleep.

 _Silence forbids you from using your tongue_ , Ayato reminded himself.

Ayato breathed in the cold, spring air as he clenched the rail. Using it as a support, he carefully placed his feet against the ground, letting his fingers slowly release the bars. His arms went back by his side, but he didn't have any need to go closer. Not yet. He was pacing himself in every way he could. It was not the right time for him to think too much on this task, but he did it anyway.

Finally, he took two quick strides towards the door. Each one had a creak that only made the nearby moths fly away, promising him a curve of his lip as a way of knowing that it wasn't enough to wake up the being.

For some reason, he wanted the person sleeping to be his sister. He wanted to see if she really did change based on what he had seen in the picture Torso took. Maybe he might actually see how much of a person she became. It might have been necessary, of course, since she had been a mother. He didn't know how exactly one would have to do in order to understand that kind of role, but then again, it's not his business. Even so, he wanted to see how much it changed her exactly.

Ayato stopped walking once he reached the doors. The cold air bounced back at him as his nose was near the glass, but that wasn't effective for him to have difficulty to see who was sleeping peacefully in bed.

And immediately, Ayato froze as he realized that he had come across Touka's daughter.

One month ago, Ayato wouldn't dare look upon any child, human or ghoul, that would not bring him some worth. Unlike Hinami, he was always the stoic type. But when he came upon the picture of Touka's daughter, not any emotion of his could even relate to what he had felt: shock. Enough shock that would almost make anyone around him go into a stupor. He tried so hard in forgetting that, but right now, it had all come back to him.

Ayato's hands went against the glass doors, his gloves protecting him from the extra frostbite, and his forehead was only an inch away from copying his hands' gesture. He was shivering, the sight of the child not even offering a single change of maintaining composure. He wasn't sure if Hinami was watching him, but he didn't even care about being watched. All he cared about was making sure he was the one who was watching.

Despite his almost-frigid stance, Ayato was able to pay attention to the close detail of the child. Her covers only hides up to her waist, letting her face be presented up front to the door. Her black hair was tied back into a loose braid and rested on her shoulder, already having loose strands coming from it. The moonlight and various streetlights were enough for him to see her round face. She may have the face of a child but she did indeed gain some looks from her mother. Of course, Ayato would know that. He had grown up with his older sister; it would be absolutely stupid of him to not remember what she looked liked as a child.

A face like that could take him back into his naive yet peaceful memories as a child easily.

Ayato felt the ground shake, but did not even bother to turn around. It was obvious that the reason for that noise was because of Hinami, making small steps toward him. It was a silent and quick approach, as he did not hear anything else afterwards that could be coherent in words. It was only the lull of the night to make up for what he could try and make up her reaction.

"Is that her?" Hinami finally asked, her voice not loud enough to match the sudden breeze.

"Mmm," Ayato muttered, his tilted head being the only way to count as a nod. It transitioned to a side glance, studying Hinami's glance towards the child. Compared to his own reaction, she looked much more pastoral. Not shocked, not appalled; pastoral. Her eyes were unwavering as she looked through the looking glass like Alice. Her forehead was pressed against the glass, starting to make Ayato wonder if she wanted to break it. Break it, as a way to let her have much ease to look at the child without a chance to ever be tainted again.

"She's beautiful," Hinami murmured and Ayato could've sworn that he saw her shudder. Not knowing what else to say, he looked back at the child.

A cold sensation started to seep into his skin, making him twitch briskly. He didn't know if he was numb from the external air or from the fact that he was still staring at his sister's child. It did not matter to him. Even when he should be concerned that this might be the most fixated and open he had ever been with his feelings, there was no point in thinking too hard about his actions. He was drawn to her; there's nothing more to say about that.

Yet at the same time, it shouted out everything that he didn't want to be heard.

Ayato's raised shoulders fell. The tensity transitioned to his hands as they curled into fists, trembling from the realization of what he was doing. It's not like he didn't know about his and Hinami's actions. It's the fact that he had almost forgot his limits for being here.

Shaking his head, Ayato took a hand away from the glass and placed it on Hinami's shoulder. Her head turning was quick, but she looked up at him with concern.

"We should head back," Ayato breathed a sigh, making Hinami raise an eyebrow with bemusement.

"But we just got here," Hinami tried to argue, her fingers scrunching up against the glass meanwhile.

"And that's enough for me," Ayato said, authoritative but calm. "I already told you that I wanted to see the kid, nothing more or less. We can go now."

Hinami's body grew tense as she then slipped her hands off the glass. Her eyes flicked at him, not far to being similar in concern. It could be somewhere in the line of frustration if Ayato were to guess, something that rarely ever occured with her. It almost scared him for a bit.

"Ayato," she began, "you don't know if this may be the only chance we can get to properly see her. Don't you want to try and not rush things for once?"

"Don't try and change my mind," Ayato scoffed. "I already told you. I have my limits, and there's no need for me to try and extend them. There's no point."

"You're still willing to stick with your little quirks, even when you know you shouldn't be?" Hinami had her head leaned closer to Ayato. Her lips were shaking from the cold and her eyes had an competent spiral of irritation. She tried to keep a front, Ayato knew this, an act that she has been trying so hard to keep up with ever since she joined Aogiri Tree. Then again, he didn't know if she was serious right now with her defense.

"So what if I still have my quirks?" He simply said, not knowing if that counted as an answer. "It's what kept me alive all this time. So what if I can't let it go?"

"Because you don't know what kind of actions you could do once you have the chance." Hinami had her voice rising.

"I am not having this _fucking_ conversation with you tonight, Hinami," Ayato said nastily. He could feel the volume rising in his throat. It felt like his throat was a chimney, alit from a warm fire. "All I want to do is just go back home and forget this all happened."

Hinami grumbled, her eyebrows growing with irritation. "So that's what you're treating this now? Like some sort of event that you want to forget ever happened?"

"I know this happened. But I already told you this. This is just all a part of Touka's life now, and you and I know all too well that I don't do well in being a part of that lifestyle."

"You're talking as if we are actually going to talk to Onee-chan." Hinami crossed her arms. "Which I bet wouldn't even cause that much of a struggle if you would have agreed to go along with it."

Ayato tusked with anger, and he looked at Hinami's riled face, not even wondering if that was the highest it could go. Or if it could be the same as his own, currently.

"How many times do I have to fucking say this?!" Ayato spat. "I do not deserve to be in any part of this world! I'm fine with getting glimpses of shit like this, but thinking of overpassing it is where I draw the line, goddammit! I don't care if you think that I'm being fucking stubborn with my decisions, then you really don't understand me at all! Just why...Why are you trying so goddamn hard to make me think about stupid decisions, especially when it's involving a stupid, little-"

Quick taps.

It was a quiet sound. Quiet to hear when glass is breaking; when a writer is pacing herself as she taps her laptop at night from writer's block; when someone is walking alone at night after a long day at their job; when a leaking sink drops water and that is what is heard against the silver surrounding. Those were things that were never, not even in the least, observed by anyone. It imprints on their hearts, a rule that should never be broken.

Ayato, nevertheless, broke that rule easily as it made him stop. Hinami didn't even ask why he stopped, copying his wide eyes and strained ears. Her ears were much more vigorous than Ayato's, making him worry about her and what he had said to her. Almost. Concerning about Hinami was his second worried thought. The first was just too much for him to ignore, as he knew that there was no denying it.

Slowly, he and Hinami turned away from each other before quickly snapping themselves into a frozen state towards the glass door.

Towards the small silhouette of Touka's daughter looking at them.

Ayato cursed himself yet again when he saw the little toddler just beyond reach. He knew that suddenly losing his composure in tone like that would cause something. Anything involving his temper would never go unnoticed. Especially when one of the people experiencing that was a small child. They were more prone to noise than any ghoul with a stark sense of hearing. Before he was well known to the code of Aogiri Tree, hasty mistakes were done by his hands where children were current. It was a reminder, really, to show him what it meant if he made the wrong move.

It didn't scare him, back then. It did now.

Ayato wanted to make a quick glance back to Hinami, as if he could suddenly get her approval for leaving now. It would be what he wanted in the first place, but he treated that thought as their trump card. One look to her could easily assure him that she would agree. One look into her soul would assure him and they would run from that place without a single word. Silence does forbid you from using your tongue, after all.

The girl instantly, and unexpectedly, smiled at the two ghouls in the silence.

Ayato's eyelids lowered, but the fear was replaced with an equal amount of confusion. The child moved her arms to the door before opening it with grace. The cold wind cradled like she was still a baby, making her give a small shudder. That didn't make her stop in giving her gaze to Ayato. The sudden elation Ayato noticed in her eyes was brighter than the moon. It was easy for him to be lost in that much positivity already when he was known for negativity.

The girl's right hand went upwards to Ayato's direction, signaling him to take a step backwards. Why would a child so small compared to him suddenly give him so much sheepish actions?

"[5]...Yes to coconut," the girl finally said, her voice like a fairy.

"What?" He asked, his voice back to a whisper, shaking his head as if he didn't hear her.

"Say yes to coconut," the girl repeated, her voice clear as the wind.

Ayato tilted his head a bit with an extra heap of confusion. His eyes focused on the girl's hand and he realized that she was holding something out to him. He squinted his eyes at the object she held with a firm grip, the color of Doves highlighting the darkness surrounding them. A scent filled his nose, almost as if it was impolite in doing so, and the realization made him want to shake his head in dismay. Instead, he only snatched the object away from the girl, not breaking their eye contact.

"Is this soap?" Ayato asked bluntly, and quietly, with the bar of soap held between them. A snort filled the surrounding silence and Ayato looked back at Hinami with annoyance. A hand was covering her mouth, but he could still notice her wide smile.

"I don't curse often," the girl said, making Ayato look back to her. Her arms were behind her back and she could perfectly match the decency of a princess. "But my mommy tells me if I hear someone do, then I give them that," she pointed to the bar of soap, shaking due to Ayato's anger-filled hand, "and make sure they say 'yes to coconut'."

 _Little brat_ , Ayato thought, squeezing the bar of soap so hard that it should have split into two. Then again, there was irony in those childlike words. Touka was always known for cursing everything known to mankind. If the girl is telling him that her mom told her that cursing was wrong, then he the universe must be messing with him.

Ayato didn't know what kind of face he was making towards the girl, but he could feel the same discontent sculpt it in place. The girl started to look concerned, giving an anxious tilt of her head.

"Don't worry about him," Hinami intercepted, making the girl turn her head to her. Hinami's smile was still intact ever as her hand slid down her face. "You're not the first one to talk to him about that."

"How many times has people told him about that?" The girl asked, a slight skip in her feet as she took a step forward.

Hinami knelt down to the girl's level. "Enough to make soap his best friend."

The girl giggled softly. It rang in Ayato's ears like tiny bells. It wasn't enough to stop him from giving a more irritated stare than the prior.

"What are your names?" The girl asked, smiling sweetly as she looked back and forth to the two eldest ghouls.

Ayato clenched his jaw with indifference, along with a hint of bewilderment. He managed to change his demeanor into a solemn one, but that same question the girl made made the latter feeling almost want to detonate inside him.

Hinami bent her head more forward to make a better view for her perspective. "I'm Hinami. And what about you?"

"I'm Rui," the girl replied blithely, careful in not letting her voice overreach her. She may be a child, but Ayato had to admit that she was more tame than he was. And when Rui turned herself back to Ayato, he did not even release his jaw. "What about you, Mister?"

Ayato blinked idly, not matching the fast pace his thoughts were as they crossed one another. That hadn't happened before. It NEVER happened before. Not with a child, especially. But even his arrogant, little ass knew that this was not just any child. This was his niece. His sister's daughter. That thought repeated so many times in his head that that could almost resemble salt in the wound. But even if it was effective, it was not fatal. It didn't even refrain from him quirking his lips to the side with a fake roll of the eyes.

"Ayato." He finally replied, the words silky against his lips. It reached to Rui handily as her smile grew wider.

"In that case…" Rui started discreetly. She raised her tiny finger ever so stagnant and pointed it to Ayato and declared him, "Yato-kun," and twirled around and pointed to Hinami, "and Hina-chan."

What.

The Actual.

F-

The sight of Hinami giggling at that nickname made Ayato not even finish. Meanwhile, all the confusion and annoyance wellowing inside him had suddenly turn into the urge to throw up. What kind of reaction is he feeling tonight? It's like something of his was broken, making him not process everything all at once.

"You're not scared?" Hinami asked as she stood up, more of a wondrous thought than an anxious question. Rui hummed with a dazed tilt of her head. "How come you're not worried about people like us being near your room?"

Rui looked up to Hinami yet she didn't look at all intimidated. "I'm not scared of you." She looked back to Ayato. It's like she was a spinning top. "Or you, either. I like meeting new people."

"Haven't you ever heard of don't talk to strangers, though?" Ayato inquired nonchalantly. It brought him a sudden chill when he realized that he wasn't ignoring her.

"I have." Rui nodded, not really being devoted about it. "But I don't get it. Aren't strangers just friends you haven't met yet?"

Ayato had his eyes widened, the only thing he could do when he didn't know how to respond to that. It was something an adult would say. Rui was not an adult. It's like she could be in disguise, like a wolf in sheep's clothing. His fist tightened in both hands, uneven due to the soap still wedged in between his right. His eyes were weak staring down at the child's, shining with virtue. He could almost be blinded by that emphasized amount. That strong look in his eye had only been present for him for only four minutes. Four minutes and he could only conclude on one thing about this child.

The only thing that wasn't as big as her was her ignorance.

Rui then let out a long yawn, strong enough to brew unnecessary tears in her eyes. All Ayato could do was sigh at the child, sigh from the thought that he had just forgotten that she was still a toddler. She was mature for her age, but very young, nonetheless.

Hinami took small steps to Rui, kneeling down again to face her, even if Rui's eyes were squinted with exhaustion. "You should probably get back to bed, sweetie. We didn't mean to wake you up."

"I'm okay." Rui kept going like the wind. "I don't want to stop talking."

"But you need to sleep," Hinami argued, tucking in a strand of Rui's hair behind her ear. Her braid had finally come apart. "We don't want you to fall asleep on us."

"But I just met you," Rui said, her voice finally letting sleep touch it gradually. "If I leave now, you might end up like Moon Man."

Ayato didn't wonder what she was talking about. He didn't think about asking who this Moon Man was. That's the thing. He didn't wonder nor think. He only said something that he didn't realize would roam out of his mouth.

"We'll come back."

Hinami and Rui turned their heads to Ayato with separated reactions, one of tired happiness and the other of quiet surprise. He could feel his chest burning, his fists no longer held so hard.

"We'll be around here." Ayato started, his eyes starting to feel soft. "We can visit you, but only in the nighttime and when you're alone here. As long as you can keep quiet about this...about meeting us at all...then we can keep coming back here to see you."

Ayato knew he didn't say a lot, but it already made him dizzy. There was no time in thinking about what he had done as Rui had her signature glow in her eyes again.

"Really?" Rui beamed, her voice still calm yet coy, as if she thought Ayato's suggestion was a lie. "Do you promise?"

Ayato put his hand on the railing, as if he was ready to jump off of the balcony and . That would have seemed to be the most efficient thing to do for him. Again, while Ayato was known for being the most dominant in making sure that he left his decisions where they were, he was still rational. However, he never thought that he would change his mind and decisions, let alone let a toddler be an incentive for that. It's like everything was much more lucid: the same as rational, but brighter.

"Yeah, sure," he responded. It was short; it was flat; but it was enough to make Rui grin with content. Ayato was already feeling something heavy, but he was sure as hell that it wasn't just extra bogus. Hinami stood up with her hand grazing Rui's hair, doing this before giving an quick yet audacious smug to Ayato.

"Alright, then," Hinami evoked, nudging Rui back to her room. "We need to get going already. And you need to go back to bed."

Rui replied with another yawn before walking back inside with Hinami following foot. Ayato also took steps behind them, but couldn't even get past the entrance, despite the tempting welcome of the heating system of the building. In the end, the sight of Hinami tucking Rui into her bed was the closest thing to warm he could ever get for the night. For his life, maybe.

"Goodnight," Ayato heard Hinami say tenderly. "And, remember. This is our little secret, okay?"

Ayato could see Rui bob her head, her eyes jaded before they could close completely. Quietly, Hinami turned around and started walking out of the room. Ayato took steps back once she was near him and to make it easier for her as she had to close the glass door behind them. Hinami then turned around again, the turn pouring with spright, and greeted Ayato with a smile of the same correspondence.

"What?" Ayato fumed, as if that was his perfect chance to play pretend. To go back to how he originally was: stubborn and hesitant. Even when her smile was wide and her eyes narrowed with a lively aspect, he tried to deny it.

Hinami chuckled, almost as similar as Rui's. "Nothing. Just...glad that there are some limits that can be broken."

"I didn't plan that and you know it," Ayato argued silently, now being reminded about the now-asleep Rui. "I just told that little brat that to keep her quiet. And even if it was true, it won't change the fact that things are still the same between me and Touka and her family, and us visiting that girl won't change anything."

"Really?" Hinami asked sarcastically, narrowing her eyes down. "If that's it, then why are you still holding onto the soap Rui-chan gave you?"

Ayato was not aware of his actions, but the sudden realization made him squeeze his hand, the bar of soap still in its place. He could finally pay attention to the texture, all coarse due to the past crunches to it. There was no glance down towards the useless material, not like looking at it would make him come to a blunt awareness. The look on Hinami's face and the feeling of the object was all good to say, there they were.

Ayato shook his head gently, as if that would match well to erase Hinami's gentle comment. Why was he still holding onto it? What point was there in still holding it? It was not a warm gift, so why?

Why? Why? Why?

He knew he shouldn't think too hard on that. He knew that he could just forget it. That he could just throw it away and ignore the question. Go back to being as stubborn as the little kid he was four years ago. It was the easiest solution and dodge.

But he couldn't.

Even when he still clutched onto the soap when he could just drop it. Even when he could try and forget that spontaneous rendezvous with Touka's daughter. Even when Hinami told him that they should get back home, he could only hold onto that one word.

 _Why?_

* * *

 _ **1\. Another chapter that doesn't relate to Touka and Haise is what gets on my nerves. I'm pretty efficient when it comes to writing romance (most of the time), but I haven't brought up Ayato and Hinami in a while. Because of their involvement, trying to find a new song is another obstacle for me. However, I went through a long time favorite artist of mine, EDEN, and looked over his lyrics in hopes of finding similarities. This was the closest I could get with Ayato's situation and hesitation with meeting with Touka and Rui. The lyrics symbolize his first meeting Rui as baby steps.**_

 _ **2\. Just in case things aren't clear, in this story, Hinami actually made it out with Ayato and Aogiri rather than getting captured by the CCG.**_

 _ **3\. If any of you have listened to the Tokyo Ghoul OST, you can tell what I did here. ;)**_

 _ **4\. I tried to look at the structure of :re with the help of the manga, but then I realized that it may be a tad different that what I originally thought in my mind. But anyway, for now, let's say that the shop is three stories high. The first is the cafe, the second is the little den/kitchen Yomo, Touka, and Rui have, and the third is where their rooms are. I also added in balconies for a more appealing design.**_

 _ **5\. Yes to Coconut is a type of bar soap. If you have heard the punishment "washing your mouth out with soap", which I'm sure you do, then that is what Rui is trying to do to Ayato.**_

* * *

 _ **Jesus. Fucking. Christ am I a horrible person.**_

 _ **I apologize for the wait, everyone. I feel like this was the longest I've ever gone without offering an update to this story. All I can say for the one thing being responsible for the lack of writing for me was school, life, and a good amount of procrastination. But I am happy to say that I am back from school. I am BACK to writing and doing the one thing I love! I did want to publish one more chapter before the year ended. I even posted this on Christmas Eve, talk about perfect timing! However, I plan on doing the best I can to write as much as possible in my break from college. I might even let my beta try and remind me everyday about this, especially when they were the most patient with me. :P**_

 _ **Also, in other news...ehhhh...hehe...I know I mentioned before about bringing a little surprise in honor of the anniversary for this story(even if that already passed six months ago). However, because of certain events, that will have to be delayed for now. It will come eventually, but not anytime. I'm very sorry about that everyone, but I can say that it will come out eventually.**_

 _ **Anyway, I hope you all loved this chapter. I apologize if this is not up to standards since it's been a while since I could write, but I do hope you loved it. Again, please, if you want, comment, follow, favorite, or DM me whenever. And until the next chapter, BYE BYE! XD**_

 _ **OH, and Merry Christmas to you all! 3**_


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